An early Christmas gift!

After months of filling out forms, gathering information, and waiting, we were very excited to receive our completed and approved home studies from our agency on....wait for it....Christmas Eve!  Seriously, at 4pm the mail got here and there that bad boy was!  I took that as a really good sign.  Of course, since it was not only Christmas Eve but also Friday, we had to wait to get that I-800A in the mail until this week.  I have to admit that I wanted to enjoy the beauty of the weekend and not let it stress me.  And I figured what was the rush since government offices might not necessarily be the quickest during this time.  ;)

Instead, we celebrated by going to Christmas Eve mass, making cookies for Santa, getting on our Christmas PJs (Bernard, Santa's elf leaves them for us every year) and enjoying the evening.  The next morning, we continued to celebrate with a great Christmas Day, family safely arriving from up north, a wonderful dinner with our close neighbors, and unbelievably- a white Christmas in SC!  We had at least a couple of inches and it was absolutely beautiful!  All of it just seemed like God saying "Chill out.  Its all going well, so don't worry and just enjoy the birth of My Son."  So we did just that.  

This week, we got back to "work" and got the needed forms and documents together.  We'll get them printed, signed, and by week's end, away they will go!  In between, we'll be enjoying each other, watching college and pro football (especially cheering for Michigan, Clemson, Wisconsin, and the Packers), and relaxing.  Still, it feels good to have yet another task completed and even if there is more waiting, we're ready.   Every bit is progress and we're are getting closer and closer.  As we told our son, next Christmas you will be a big brother.  We can't wait!

Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and we wish you all many blessings (and children) in the New Year! 

Mary Did You Know?

Merry Christmas everyone!  I haven't written on the blog in a while because for the last month or so, its been basically a back and forth between our social worker and the agency to perfect the home study.  Here I thought it was looking great according to the agency, but our social worker had trouble with some of the ways sections and sentences were worded.  She felt the grammar was thin and took it a little too personal (in my opinion) rather than looking at the reasons behind the wordings (ie ease of translation, not raising red flags or problems in either the US or Polish govt/courts, etc).  I have to admit to a certain amount of frustration because it seemed like the discrepancy was not over content, but how it was expressed.  I can understand both sides (no, really I can!) but while the haggling was going back and forth, I started to feel like this:

When I should have been feeling like this- its Christmas after all! :

So why the added frustration? Well, I have been also clicking off the days before we could get our documentation submitted to the USCIS since our goal was to have that in by the first of the year.  Now, although the home study is done and we should have it in our hot little hands this next week, you know the US govt is going to be moving at a snail's pace during the holidays.  So our overall goal of having the dossier in by the new year with hopefully a referral to follow soon afterwards is pretty much:

 

plllbbbbbbb!!

 

Anyway,  regardless of all that I have been very busy focusing on preparing for Christmas and it has been a happy distraction.  My son, Case, is 9 this year and although he has asked a few questions, he still believes and we are happy he does.  We have talked about the spirit of St Nicholas and are preparing for the transition that will eventually happen, but for now he loves all things Christmas and looking for our elf Eddie (the Elf on the Shelf) to tell Eddie things meant for Santa. 

But most importantly, Case is acutely aware of the reason for the season- the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  He has taken his job of doing our nativity advent calendar very seriously.  It entails reading a part of the Christmas story everyday and hanging the daily wood cutout on the nativity scene.  When all the pieces are in place, it displays the famous scene.  I'm probably not describing it well, but suffice to say he loves it and it gives us a fantastic way to discuss the Nativity every year. 

Which leads me to the title of this blog- "Mary Did You Know?"  By far, this is one of my favorite Christmas songs (that and "My Grown-up Christmas List).  It is the most poignant, beautiful, and emotional songs I have ever heard.  As a mother, especially a mother of a son, it truly speaks to my soul.  Here is the link:

 

Think about these verses in the song: "When you kissed your little baby, you kissed the face of God"; "This child that you delivered will soon deliver you".  Wow.  When I hear this, I feel the depth and breadth of emotion throughout my soul.

 

I admire and love Mary beyond words.  She has been my "mother" since mine went to heaven and for me, she is the role model I look to in my parenting decisions.  And sometimes- actually often- I marvel at the mystery of how she was able to do everything she did.  I love my son with my whole being and I know she did the same; yet, she knew what it meant to bring Jesus into the world and what must happen down the road.  How did she do it?  Mary, did you know?  There was all the circumstances surrounding her pregnancy, not to mention the strain it might have caused her and Joseph, and yet, she accepted it and her motherhood without question and wholeheartedly.  And at one time, she was like me- a new mother looking down at her newborn son fill of love and wonder and hope.  I wonder, although Mary knew what Jesus' life meant, did she truly grasp the magnitude of important things he would do when she held him as a newborn?   Maybe she did, and how completely wonderful it must have been for her.   She never looked at Jesus as anything other than her son, although she knew he was destined for great things.  But more importantly, she knew she was destined to be his mother, end of story.   She loved him because God brought him to her- even if it was unconventional, to say the least. 

And that's why this song speaks to me.  Not just because of the son I have and gave birth to, but also for the son we are destined to have that will be brought to us by God.   So, as we are finishing this (often frustrating) paperwork, I have to look to Mary.  There is a little boy out there that will need me as a mama and I will need guidance and support to help me be the mother God intends me to be.  Did Mary know?  We'll never know.  What we do know is she handled herself with grace, loved Jesus beyond measure, and ultimately gave the world our Savior.  And I know when my time comes, I will look to Mother Mary for guidance and support and never, ever forget the lessons she taught us- a mother's love is infinite and can make all the difference. 

Blessings to you all during this beautiful Christmas season!

Home study- small step forward, ho!

We got an email yesterday from Erin, the agency social worker reviewing our home study that she was forwarding it on to Lina for review and approval! We are really happy! We are also glad because we needed to do a few revisions ourselves since Ann, who did our home study, is on vacation and apparently we did ok. Ann did a great job and changes consisted mainly of re-formatting, spelling corrections, and eliminating redundancies. Still, it was pretty time consuming. I definitely have a renewed appreciation for what social workers do when preparing a home study!

I also appreciate the meticulousness of our agency in finding any discrepancies, suggesting additions/subtractions, and overall thoroughness. Their commitment to helping us through the process smoothly has been amazing. Lina will now look at it, hopefully approve it, and then forward to Ann for her approval of the changes. The best part is we were able to accomplish the corrections while Ann was away so we didn't lose precious weeks in between.

We are definitely getting closer to having that vital piece of the puzzle done so we can move on to getting USCIS approval. A small step, but we'll take it!

One of the many benefits of being a US citizen

Yep, I got out there and exercised my constitutional right! And since he had the day off school ( a SC thing, I guess), I again took my son with me. It was relatively painless and hardly any wait at 12:30pm- the last name grouping we are in (R-T) is usually one of the worse so I was glad we were in and out in about 15 minutes.

I absolutely love taking Case with me when I vote. It is such a prime time for learning the hows and whys of choosing our government. I also take the opportunity to reinforce why it is each citizen's civic obligation to vote. Being in 3rd grade, he is totally into it now and has been paying attention to the (ungodly amount of) political ads out there. We have talked about why some can be misleading and the need to read the issues and where the candidate stands for ourselves.

While in line, we saw other people we knew- neighbors, teachers, friends- and it was such a prime time to talk about why we vote and how blessed we are in the US to have the right to vote. We talked about what "government for the people, by the people" means and how other countries have to wait for days in line to cast their vote. He remembered a little bit about voting for President 2 years ago, but that time he was more fascinated by the electronic ballot and thought it was kinda a game (thanks alot Leapster- lol). Thus, unfortunately the one point that stuck was that he couldn't vote because he wasn't an adult. This time was very different. He has studied SC history and we are voting for governor so he really was interested. We went to the electronic voting booth together and I went down each candidate and the job they were running for. I did have to be brief since we had that 3 min limit, but he understood it for the most part. We then talked about the proposed amendments to the SC State Constitution, their importance, and what it actually means to "amend" something. He was completely captivated by the process and said he "loved voting". What more can a US mommy ask for?

So I realize we are on the right track with one US citizen and look forward to teaching our other son-to-be about the whole process here as well. And while I used to wonder if we could really help a child from another democratic country "get it", I now realize through my own experience that he will be too little to really have learned about one system over another. There will be many opportunities to teach the lessons of electing our government (and how it is similar and different from others) and like Case, he will probably first be interested in the video screens and electronics and then love the system. And I am SO looking forward to sharing it all again with our second child.

Make new friends, but keep the old...

One is silver, and the gold. This has been something we have had to talk to our 9 yr old Case about recently since he just found out one of his best friends in school, Davis, is moving to Charleston (about 4 hours away). He is understandably sad and although he understands that Davis' dad got a new and better job, it breaks my heart for him. We have talked about how they can email and how we can see them when they come up for Clemson games to tailgate, but having that one great friend in school just seems to be slipping from his grasp. It makes me sad too because Davis and his family are wonderful. I truly could have seen Case and Davis being lifelong friends, hanging out throughout their entire schooling and even longer. They are different in complementary ways but similar enough to make it work well.

People may ask- what about other boys and other friends? Now, Case is a great kid (I know, not biased at all, right? lol) and has always excelled academically and socially. He makes friends easily, is very sweet and considerate of feelings, and generally happy to be around. And there are some kids that he gets along with; just none that he shares any special bond with. Also, currently, there are not alot of choices for what I would call desirable kids (especially boys) for him to hang out with in his grade. Not that they are awful kids; its more that they are just not remotely like him, generally either act up in class, and they have little in common. They aren't into the same sports, purposely try to not excel academically, and can be very cliquey (in 3rd grade- can you believe it??). And there are alot of them in his particular grade this year. Add into that the fact that there have been alot of kids (good, sweet kids) moving lately due to the economy and parents' new jobs, and it makes this loss even more poignant.

So, although he has school friends and acquaintances from different activities (club soccer, church, etc), he is dreading coming back to school after the holidays when Davis will have moved. We talk about the value of friendship, its importance, and look for more opportunities to let him meet other boys, but I can still see the loss in his eyes.

So what can we do? Well, we have planned to have sleepovers including Davis and schedule fun activities so they can make the most of the time left. We talk and continue to pray for Davis and his family and the big change they will go through. We also ask God for strength and thank him for the blessings of a good friend. Case continues to make new friends all the time and I hope one or more of them can just as special for him in the future.

For this, and so many other reasons, I am so happy that this adoption is happening and he can focus on that after the holidays. The idea of having a little brother makes him over the moon and I know he will simply be the best big brother ever. And now, more than ever, I want them to be much more than brothers. If they are the lifelong "gold" friends to each other we all need, they can give each other support as they search out and make those new "silver" friends.

We're officially not criminals!

Just being silly. Of course we already knew this but its always nice to get that official acknowledgment. Yes, as you may have guessed, our FBI clearances did indeed arrive yesterday with the lovely words "No Arrest Records Found"! Woohoo! It only took about 8 weeks which is AMAZING based on other horror stories I read. Boy am I glad now that I went and got my fingerprints re-done because I just had that "feeling".




And HOLY COW!! We also got word today from our social worker that our home study is completed (Ann is FABULOUS!) She actually forwarded it to us to check before sending it to the agency and except for a few minor suggestions/corrections, she did an exceptional job. She plans on sending it to the agency by the beginning of next week and hopefully they will review it and not find too many things wrong. :)

So, things have been moving crazily forward in this phase of the journey and although we might meet challenges done the road, for tonight I think we'll enjoy this!

Grateful for Naomi and the lessons I learned when dealing with the federal government

Well, as they say- this whole adoption is both a journey and a learning process. I have definitely found that true and especially when dealing with the federal government. Now, I know what everyone is thinking (oh geez, what now?!).....but actually- and unbelievably- we recently had a fantastic experience with them! Here's the scoop and the three lessons I learned:

My husband was born abroad to US parents (back in the day- lol) so we had to take his old birth certificate (that was written in German no less) and have it converted to a DS-1350 or "Certification of Report of Birth". Pretty easy actually. It arrived back here promptly and we sent it off again to have it apostilled. Here is where the adventure began. We used the address supplied by our adoption agency, but it was wrong because it eventually got sent back to us with a non-descript letter and of course, without the notarized form we sent in with it. So, after some detective work, I found the number of the actual office that handles these things (it was buried within the Passport Office and not easy to find) and called to find out what was the problem. I talked to perfectly lovely lady named Naomi who gave me the correct address and told me that not only do they issue the certificates, but they would do apostilles there for free if the document was issued there. That's Lesson #1- always call the office directly (even if it means searching for the number); and Lesson #2- the Vital Records office will apostille for free if they issued the document.

So we sent the documents back- to the correct address this time- with another notarized request and another pre-paid return envelope. What could go wrong, right? Well, turns out we shouldn't ask that question. After about 3 weeks of waiting for the apostille, that should have taken 8 business days, we called to find out the deal. My husband talked to Naomi again and she said she was officer of the day that day and she knew it had already been sent out. I thought "Uh oh....where are these things??" "Did someone take them?". However, as many other questions and scenarios began to form in my head and before pure panic could set in, Naomi called us back (I know, that in itself is amazing!). She told us that her assistant had mistakenly seen our return UPS Ground envelope and re-opened it and put it back in Naomi's to-do pile! lol Naomi explained that they usually use Fed Ex and hence the mix-up. She apologized profusely and assured us she would send it asap. That was yesterday.....it arrived this morning first thing, Fed Ex overnight. So Lesson #3- always use Fed Ex when sending things to the government.

So let's review lessons learned:
Lesson #1- always call the office directly (even if it means searching for the number)

Lesson #2- the Vital Records office will apostille for free if they issued the document.

Lesson #3- Always use Fed Ex for the government.

Needless to say, we will be sending a letter praising Naomi and the Vital records office to her supervisor, Sec of State Clinton, and even the White House! What the heck, how often do they hear about great employees? Thanks Naomi!!