Make new friends, but keep the old...

One is silver, and the gold. This has been something we have had to talk to our 9 yr old Case about recently since he just found out one of his best friends in school, Davis, is moving to Charleston (about 4 hours away). He is understandably sad and although he understands that Davis' dad got a new and better job, it breaks my heart for him. We have talked about how they can email and how we can see them when they come up for Clemson games to tailgate, but having that one great friend in school just seems to be slipping from his grasp. It makes me sad too because Davis and his family are wonderful. I truly could have seen Case and Davis being lifelong friends, hanging out throughout their entire schooling and even longer. They are different in complementary ways but similar enough to make it work well.

People may ask- what about other boys and other friends? Now, Case is a great kid (I know, not biased at all, right? lol) and has always excelled academically and socially. He makes friends easily, is very sweet and considerate of feelings, and generally happy to be around. And there are some kids that he gets along with; just none that he shares any special bond with. Also, currently, there are not alot of choices for what I would call desirable kids (especially boys) for him to hang out with in his grade. Not that they are awful kids; its more that they are just not remotely like him, generally either act up in class, and they have little in common. They aren't into the same sports, purposely try to not excel academically, and can be very cliquey (in 3rd grade- can you believe it??). And there are alot of them in his particular grade this year. Add into that the fact that there have been alot of kids (good, sweet kids) moving lately due to the economy and parents' new jobs, and it makes this loss even more poignant.

So, although he has school friends and acquaintances from different activities (club soccer, church, etc), he is dreading coming back to school after the holidays when Davis will have moved. We talk about the value of friendship, its importance, and look for more opportunities to let him meet other boys, but I can still see the loss in his eyes.

So what can we do? Well, we have planned to have sleepovers including Davis and schedule fun activities so they can make the most of the time left. We talk and continue to pray for Davis and his family and the big change they will go through. We also ask God for strength and thank him for the blessings of a good friend. Case continues to make new friends all the time and I hope one or more of them can just as special for him in the future.

For this, and so many other reasons, I am so happy that this adoption is happening and he can focus on that after the holidays. The idea of having a little brother makes him over the moon and I know he will simply be the best big brother ever. And now, more than ever, I want them to be much more than brothers. If they are the lifelong "gold" friends to each other we all need, they can give each other support as they search out and make those new "silver" friends.