One is silver, and the gold. This has been something we have had to talk to our 9 yr old Case about recently since he just found out one of his best friends in school, Davis, is moving to Charleston (about 4 hours away). He is understandably sad and although he understands that Davis' dad got a new and better job, it breaks my heart for him. We have talked about how they can email and how we can see them when they come up for Clemson games to tailgate, but having that one great friend in school just seems to be slipping from his grasp. It makes me sad too because Davis and his family are wonderful. I truly could have seen Case and Davis being lifelong friends, hanging out throughout their entire schooling and even longer. They are different in complementary ways but similar enough to make it work well.
People may ask- what about other boys and other friends? Now, Case is a great kid (I know, not biased at all, right? lol) and has always excelled academically and socially. He makes friends easily, is very sweet and considerate of feelings, and generally happy to be around. And there are some kids that he gets along with; just none that he shares any special bond with. Also, currently, there are not alot of choices for what I would call desirable kids (especially boys) for him to hang out with in his grade. Not that they are awful kids; its more that they are just not remotely like him, generally either act up in class, and they have little in common. They aren't into the same sports, purposely try to not excel academically, and can be very cliquey (in 3rd grade- can you believe it??). And there are alot of them in his particular grade this year. Add into that the fact that there have been alot of kids (good, sweet kids) moving lately due to the economy and parents' new jobs, and it makes this loss even more poignant.
So, although he has school friends and acquaintances from different activities (club soccer, church, etc), he is dreading coming back to school after the holidays when Davis will have moved. We talk about the value of friendship, its importance, and look for more opportunities to let him meet other boys, but I can still see the loss in his eyes.
So what can we do? Well, we have planned to have sleepovers including Davis and schedule fun activities so they can make the most of the time left. We talk and continue to pray for Davis and his family and the big change they will go through. We also ask God for strength and thank him for the blessings of a good friend. Case continues to make new friends all the time and I hope one or more of them can just as special for him in the future.
For this, and so many other reasons, I am so happy that this adoption is happening and he can focus on that after the holidays. The idea of having a little brother makes him over the moon and I know he will simply be the best big brother ever. And now, more than ever, I want them to be much more than brothers. If they are the lifelong "gold" friends to each other we all need, they can give each other support as they search out and make those new "silver" friends.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Friday, October 22, 2010
We're officially not criminals!
Just being silly. Of course we already knew this but its always nice to get that official acknowledgment. Yes, as you may have guessed, our FBI clearances did indeed arrive yesterday with the lovely words "No Arrest Records Found"! Woohoo! It only took about 8 weeks which is AMAZING based on other horror stories I read. Boy am I glad now that I went and got my fingerprints re-done because I just had that "feeling".
And HOLY COW!! We also got word today from our social worker that our home study is completed (Ann is FABULOUS!) She actually forwarded it to us to check before sending it to the agency and except for a few minor suggestions/corrections, she did an exceptional job. She plans on sending it to the agency by the beginning of next week and hopefully they will review it and not find too many things wrong. :)
So, things have been moving crazily forward in this phase of the journey and although we might meet challenges done the road, for tonight I think we'll enjoy this!
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Grateful for Naomi and the lessons I learned when dealing with the federal government
Well, as they say- this whole adoption is both a journey and a learning process. I have definitely found that true and especially when dealing with the federal government. Now, I know what everyone is thinking (oh geez, what now?!).....but actually- and unbelievably- we recently had a fantastic experience with them! Here's the scoop and the three lessons I learned:
My husband was born abroad to US parents (back in the day- lol) so we had to take his old birth certificate (that was written in German no less) and have it converted to a DS-1350 or "Certification of Report of Birth". Pretty easy actually. It arrived back here promptly and we sent it off again to have it apostilled. Here is where the adventure began. We used the address supplied by our adoption agency, but it was wrong because it eventually got sent back to us with a non-descript letter and of course, without the notarized form we sent in with it. So, after some detective work, I found the number of the actual office that handles these things (it was buried within the Passport Office and not easy to find) and called to find out what was the problem. I talked to perfectly lovely lady named Naomi who gave me the correct address and told me that not only do they issue the certificates, but they would do apostilles there for free if the document was issued there. That's Lesson #1- always call the office directly (even if it means searching for the number); and Lesson #2- the Vital Records office will apostille for free if they issued the document.
So we sent the documents back- to the correct address this time- with another notarized request and another pre-paid return envelope. What could go wrong, right? Well, turns out we shouldn't ask that question. After about 3 weeks of waiting for the apostille, that should have taken 8 business days, we called to find out the deal. My husband talked to Naomi again and she said she was officer of the day that day and she knew it had already been sent out. I thought "Uh oh....where are these things??" "Did someone take them?". However, as many other questions and scenarios began to form in my head and before pure panic could set in, Naomi called us back (I know, that in itself is amazing!). She told us that her assistant had mistakenly seen our return UPS Ground envelope and re-opened it and put it back in Naomi's to-do pile! lol Naomi explained that they usually use Fed Ex and hence the mix-up. She apologized profusely and assured us she would send it asap. That was yesterday.....it arrived this morning first thing, Fed Ex overnight. So Lesson #3- always use Fed Ex when sending things to the government.
So let's review lessons learned:
Lesson #1- always call the office directly (even if it means searching for the number)
Lesson #2- the Vital Records office will apostille for free if they issued the document.
Lesson #3- Always use Fed Ex for the government.
Needless to say, we will be sending a letter praising Naomi and the Vital records office to her supervisor, Sec of State Clinton, and even the White House! What the heck, how often do they hear about great employees? Thanks Naomi!!
My husband was born abroad to US parents (back in the day- lol) so we had to take his old birth certificate (that was written in German no less) and have it converted to a DS-1350 or "Certification of Report of Birth". Pretty easy actually. It arrived back here promptly and we sent it off again to have it apostilled. Here is where the adventure began. We used the address supplied by our adoption agency, but it was wrong because it eventually got sent back to us with a non-descript letter and of course, without the notarized form we sent in with it. So, after some detective work, I found the number of the actual office that handles these things (it was buried within the Passport Office and not easy to find) and called to find out what was the problem. I talked to perfectly lovely lady named Naomi who gave me the correct address and told me that not only do they issue the certificates, but they would do apostilles there for free if the document was issued there. That's Lesson #1- always call the office directly (even if it means searching for the number); and Lesson #2- the Vital Records office will apostille for free if they issued the document.
So we sent the documents back- to the correct address this time- with another notarized request and another pre-paid return envelope. What could go wrong, right? Well, turns out we shouldn't ask that question. After about 3 weeks of waiting for the apostille, that should have taken 8 business days, we called to find out the deal. My husband talked to Naomi again and she said she was officer of the day that day and she knew it had already been sent out. I thought "Uh oh....where are these things??" "Did someone take them?". However, as many other questions and scenarios began to form in my head and before pure panic could set in, Naomi called us back (I know, that in itself is amazing!). She told us that her assistant had mistakenly seen our return UPS Ground envelope and re-opened it and put it back in Naomi's to-do pile! lol Naomi explained that they usually use Fed Ex and hence the mix-up. She apologized profusely and assured us she would send it asap. That was yesterday.....it arrived this morning first thing, Fed Ex overnight. So Lesson #3- always use Fed Ex when sending things to the government.
So let's review lessons learned:
Lesson #1- always call the office directly (even if it means searching for the number)
Lesson #2- the Vital Records office will apostille for free if they issued the document.
Lesson #3- Always use Fed Ex for the government.
Needless to say, we will be sending a letter praising Naomi and the Vital records office to her supervisor, Sec of State Clinton, and even the White House! What the heck, how often do they hear about great employees? Thanks Naomi!!
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