It has been so long since I last posted, but I honestly had nothing to report. Until now.....
WE HAVE TRAVEL DATES TO GO BACK TO POLAND!!!!! All I can say is Woo-fricking-Hoo!!!
It absolutely took FOREVER to get these and I'm pretty sure we have completely ticked off our agency but hey, whatever! We had totally expected to travel in July or at worst, early August and that would have been the best scenario by far for all of us. But that was not to be. We were VERY prompt in getting things together and sent in, but the wait was crazy and it took forever to hear anything. Here's the timeline and what we currently have had to deal with:
We had all our paperwork in by mid June and still we waited to hear.
We overnighted the DS-230 forms and items needed to the Embassy for our Article 5. Still we waited.
We got notice in the mail from the State Dept that our stuff had arrived and been processed on June 28. Still we waited.
On a whim (or maybe a moment of brilliance), I even emailed the US embassy in Warsaw (yes, you can do that) to check on the status of our Article 5. I only asked them if it was possible to check the status and didn't even provide them our case number at the time, I only signed our names. Our AWESOME US Embassy (yes, take note, they ROCK!) emailed us back the next day that yes our Article 5 for our son was issued and picked up by our "agency representative" on July 5. I had only asked if it was a possibility to check the status; they went above and beyond and did using only our name. We were very excited, but still we waited.
Days and weeks passed. We called and texted Lina and Nick and emailed Magda (she gave us permission to) and no one had any answers. I'm sure they were pretty much hating us. The month of July continued to tick by and soon we found ourselves worrying about the potential for a trip interfering with the upcoming school year. I am again PTO President at Case's (and A's) school and have responsibilities early with Back To School Nights in mid-August and meetings. I take it pretty seriously and have been working like crazy to get all the forms and instructions ready for my VP for when I'm gone and getting everything in place. As we got further into July, I started to worry about Case missing the first few days, his absences so early (they only get 10 a year), etc. I knew it would be a great experience for him to come, but he finally has the teacher he wants AND his best friend in his class for his last year in elementary school. It may sound stupid, but I didn't want to deprive him of that.
During July (and now August), Brian had to constantly move his surgeries around and re-work his schedule. He has wanted to keep things light in case we were called on a whim to go, but at the same time he had to keep working and didn't want to put out his patients over and over. He also could not let his partners (a difficult, prima-donna bunch, albeit very talented) know when exactly he would be gone, creating more stress.
As the days passed in July, my birthday at the end of the month came and went. We honestly thought we would be in Poland for it so we made no plans. Not that I cared about that, but it made for just another day which even at 46 (yes, I know, I'm o-l-d!, lol) sucks. Finally at the end of the month, we decided to take a trip to Charleston just for the weekend and to decompress. It was totally needed. I mean, don't get me wrong, it was freakishly hot and humid and all-around unpleasant weather-wise. But it was good for us to be away, even for a short time. In Charleston, I joked to Brian that we would probably get the call to go just like we did in April when we were in Disneyworld. Well, we didn't get that, but we did an email from Magda that the reason we had not heard anything was our judge was on vacation the whole month of July. Must be nice, eh??! She said he/she would be back the first week of August and our lawyer would talk to him/her the 2nd or 3rd. A bummer, but at least a time frame beginning to form.
We also found out through our awesome adoptive mom covert network of information (heh heh)that Magda was also on vacation until August 5 and would be going on vacation again later in Sept. Don't get me wrong, I don't begrudge her any of it, she works her tail off for all of us! Still, the time worried us.
Finally, this last Friday, we got an email from Magda- the dates were issued! They needed us in country on Sept 3 and our court date is Sept 18! Luckily, we only have a 15 day bonding period which works awesome for Brian's work! Unlike others, as a surgeon he can't work remotely and the court really took that and his responsibility to his patients into consideration. For that we are very grateful. Also, we think they took into consideration that A has no family. His parents gave up rights and walked away. They have never contacted him, the foster family, or the state to even check on him in 2+ years. It probably also doesn't hurt that the foster family LOVES us (and we love them), and we have skyped with A on Saturdays since we left. Plus, we are seasoned parents and he has no major health issues that require extra care. I'm sure it all played a part and for that we are eternally grateful.
The bad part (and there is definitely a BAD part) is multi-fold. First and foremost, there is no way Case can come with us and I have to potentially stay until mid-October (although Magda guesses they will reduce that time like they do for others). I can deal with staying, but I HATE being separated from Case. I have never been away from him for this long and definitely have never been this far away from him. Also, to add insult to injury, we will miss his 11th birthday while we are gone. Super, super sad about that. I know, I know....its all for a good cause; but Case has been my world since he was born and I have never missed a birthday. It will be brutal, but I know we'll get through it. Thank God for Skype!
The other bad part is we will miss the Michigan-Alabama game we have (well, had) tickets for since winter. We knew it was a chance, but we really thought we would be fine and would be back by then. We bought 4 tickets, thinking optimistically we would have a little one by then. The worst part is the game is Sept 1! If the court had asked us to be in country one week or even one day later than they did, we could have done both! Argh!! You have to understand too that I LOVE Michigan Football. Its my only true passion. And I was really looking forward to seeing Cowboy Stadium and all our M friends that are going too. So, boo. As the time passed during the summer, I had resigned myself to the fact I may not be able to go (if I was in Poland still during the rescission period). I comforted myself by thinking that maybe Brian and Case could go with another dad-son and make a boys weekend out of it. But then the word came in and none of us can go. I know it may seem silly, but it was something we were all looking forward to. I am glad we went to Charleston though for a trip with Case before this.
But the most stressful part of this whole convoluted scenario was yet to come. Let's recap the scorecard currently:
- The dates are good for Brian's work (he has time to re-schedule things, his partners owe him for extra call he covered this week, and its a short period so he can get back sooner. (good thing!)
-We had tickets to the UM-AL game, but we were able to re-sell them to fellow Michigan alums/friends (a wash)
-Case cannot come with us and we miss his birthday (sucky thing)
-We can't count on family and have to look for people to watch Case...
Oh wait, I didn't tell you that yet? Yeah, that is the stress kicker. Time to get on my soapbox....
We asked both sides of our family if someone would be willing to come stay with him. No one except Brian's sister (who gets hardly any time off work) offered and she could only do it for a few days. I totally appreciate all she tried to do because at least she tried! Brian's parents were the logical choice because they are retired etc, but they were full of excuses and begged off. I did however think my family would be there. Again, nope. They all had excuses- some legit, some just their choices- but the reality is that I don't ask for anything from them and when I did, they were not there. That will be forever in my memory. I was and am totally in disbelief at all of them. But it painted a very, very clear picture to me of who we can really count on and who is all talk and no action. I share this because this is my blog and I need to vent; but also because I want to remember.
Realize this, I have never asked for help for anything like this in my life. Ever. Not when my mother died unexpectedly 6 months before our wedding. Even when I was extremely sick when Case was a baby, I did not ask for help. During that time, Brian turned to his parents then to see if they would come down and help him with Case and they said no even then. That no has stuck with me. At the time, their refusal made me suck it up big time and get over my illness. I just had to. I had to be stronger than I thought I could be and I had to for my baby. And I did. No one knows how I would have loved the luxury of being able to recover, but I had to toughen up and rise to the occasion for my son. And don't get me wrong, I am proud I did so. I know from that and other events, that I have unbelievable inner-strength and am tough as nails. But I still needed help with this. I let those that have disappointed me and those that made promises to me back in and turned to them, only to find those promises empty and those people unreliable.
So why did I expect different this time? I don't know, wishful thinking probably. But it was not to be. I will NOT make the mistake of going back to either well because for me, they are dry as a bone. All talk, but no walk. The fact is this, when someone asks you for help you promised to give when they need it and you say no, that cuts deep. And when its someone that never asks for help, they should know that person is desperate and really, really needs it. Brian and I have realized in the last few days/weeks that we cannot count on any family. That is so sad and pathetic to say and to acknowledge, but its our reality. However, what we also realize is we can completely and utterly count on our close friends, our true family.
When I realized Case would need to stay here, we had to get someone lined up to care for him, to get him to school, to get him to soccer, and who would be an emotional support for him while we were away. I have been freaking out for a while- not sleeping, barely eating. Then two awesome people stepped up and agreed to take care of him. A HUGE responsibility and they offered without a second thought. Wow.
The first is the sweetest friend anyone could want and I feel blessed we have gotten so close over the last year. A local teacher and awesome mom of boys (one, Case's good friend), she will give Case exactly the care he needs and probably make it so fun he will hardly know we are gone, lol. She will have him for the first week. The second is a sweet, motherly woman whose college-age daughter is one of Case's babysitters. She has helped out others in the practice and she will get Case and stay here at the house with him the second week until Brian gets back. That way he can feel comfortable, have his things around him, and have a sense of normalcy while we are gone. We have other friends that will step up to take him to and from soccer practice and games and overall, I think it might work. Still, I would have loved it if Case could have had family care for him in his own house while we were away; but sadly that was not to be and honestly, I know now that it will NEVER happen. We are blessed though to have close friends both near and far who are now our family and we will put our efforts there.
So, now we wait to go. We will make flights this week and then start preparing the house, ourselves, the dogs, and Case (not in that order). In a way, we were blessed that we didn't go this summer as much as we wanted to. We get to see the Olympics (USA coverage, lol) and experience Michael Phelps' awesomeness. We get to spend a relaxing summer with Case before A comes. We get to take Case to his last first day of elementary school and get him settled in his class. We get to see him play in his soccer tournament before we leave. And we know our son will be cared for by loving people who are our new family. Sometimes the most stressful of situations bring out the best and worst in people and help you discern who are really the ones you can turn to in this life. And sometimes family comes in a different form, unrelated by blood. Seems an appropriate lesson when going through adoption :)
Until next time!
-L
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Happy 4th of July!!
Hi everyone,
Nothing new to report, just sending out wishes for everyone to have a joyous day celebrating our nation's independence! We had the blessing of visiting Philadelphia and Independence Hall itself a couple of summers ago and it was awesome. In fact, it was on our tour of Independence Hall that we heard Polish and had our "sign" that our decision to adopt was the right path.
We were standing in line waiting for the next guided tour when we heard a couple of women from a group speaking Polish. We asked if they were from Poland and they said no, they were from Canada, but were Polish immigrants. Their tour group had journeyed down to come see Independence Hall and the historical sites because they admired it so and the Polish constitution had been based on ours. They consider it a perfect document, which of course, it is. Masterful, beautiful, succinct yet eloquent- TJ out did himself (my pet name for Jefferson, lol)!
Although totally chatty before we went in, they were absolutely silent and completely in awe when the park ranger began her presentation and then led us through the Hall to the Signing Room. It was amazing to both see the actually Hall and be literally steps away from the actual seats the delegates used (South Carolina sat by the fireplace of course for those colder days of negotiation, lol). We were especially thankful to share this with Case, who was about to start 3rd grade.
As for the adoption, we had hoped to be in Poland or at least have some plans, but alas we still wait. We have continued to Skype with A and feel bad we have no answers for him, but he is in good hands and being cared for well, of which we are very thankful.
So, I hope everyone has an amazing, fun, and red, white and blue-filled 4th of July!!
Always remember....
"When in the course of human events....."
Nothing new to report, just sending out wishes for everyone to have a joyous day celebrating our nation's independence! We had the blessing of visiting Philadelphia and Independence Hall itself a couple of summers ago and it was awesome. In fact, it was on our tour of Independence Hall that we heard Polish and had our "sign" that our decision to adopt was the right path.
We were standing in line waiting for the next guided tour when we heard a couple of women from a group speaking Polish. We asked if they were from Poland and they said no, they were from Canada, but were Polish immigrants. Their tour group had journeyed down to come see Independence Hall and the historical sites because they admired it so and the Polish constitution had been based on ours. They consider it a perfect document, which of course, it is. Masterful, beautiful, succinct yet eloquent- TJ out did himself (my pet name for Jefferson, lol)!
Although totally chatty before we went in, they were absolutely silent and completely in awe when the park ranger began her presentation and then led us through the Hall to the Signing Room. It was amazing to both see the actually Hall and be literally steps away from the actual seats the delegates used (South Carolina sat by the fireplace of course for those colder days of negotiation, lol). We were especially thankful to share this with Case, who was about to start 3rd grade.
As for the adoption, we had hoped to be in Poland or at least have some plans, but alas we still wait. We have continued to Skype with A and feel bad we have no answers for him, but he is in good hands and being cared for well, of which we are very thankful.
So, I hope everyone has an amazing, fun, and red, white and blue-filled 4th of July!!
Always remember....
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
It arrived!
After what was probably a lovely overnight stay in Paris (according to the tracking), I am happy to report that our paperwork (I-800 approval and DS-230 forms) all arrived at Magda's doorstep safe and sound! It was signed by someone in her family so at least we know it was actually delivered, lol. Now to wait for the Article 5 and those darn dates.
To avoid obsessing and worrying about these things that are out of my control, I decided to distract myself by concocting a wonderful daydream about the fantastical night our package must have enjoyed in Par-ee. I can see him now (yes, I decided the package was male).....
It is evening. A beautiful, clear summer evening with a soft, gentle breeze every so often. There are many people out tonight and the city is full of life; yet it feels relaxed and a calmness permeates every fiber of one's being (or paper), putting a smile on faces for no reason other than they are content. He is sitting at a small outdoor cafe on the Left Bank- the table with a red and white checked tablecloth and a small lit candle. The candle provides a fabulous ambiance as it reflects the orange and blue off his envelope, evoking the colors seen between a summer sunset and twilight on a clear, starry night. Ratatouille-esque music is playing softly in the background and the gentle glow from the City of Lights can be seen above the buildings. He has with a dark blue beret balanced delicately on his upper left corner (right above "FedEx") and he sips on a delicate rose', while nibbling cheese and warm croissants.
Ahh, Paris.......
*See it works, right? lol lol lol
To avoid obsessing and worrying about these things that are out of my control, I decided to distract myself by concocting a wonderful daydream about the fantastical night our package must have enjoyed in Par-ee. I can see him now (yes, I decided the package was male).....
Ahh, Paris.......
*See it works, right? lol lol lol
Friday, June 22, 2012
Freaking Finally!
So for the crudity of the title, but if you had had to jump through as many piddly hoops as we did the last 2 weeks, you would be screaming it from the rooftops as well.
About that long ago, we got the notice form USCIS telling us that our home study had not received approval from the state of SC for our I-800A extension. We were dumbfounded because our social worker (who has been doing these for many years) had told us the state didn't require it so we didn't think about it. Lina did ask us if SC needed to approve the home study- don't even get me started on the fact she should know these things instead of us and should have guided us appropriately...but I digress! Anyway, we said we had checked with our SW and she said no so we thought we were good to go.
Then the pink letter from USCIS...
Needless to say, I was ticked! And very ticked at our SW especially who we really trusted! It appears she truly did not know you needed to get the state's approval (SC is only one of a very few who still require this) and as you can imagine, the officer at the state DSS was NOT happy with her when she found out she had told us we did not need it. I'm thinking some re-training and words will be exchanged there.
Luckily- and I will spare you most of the details here- we were able to contact our USCIS officer who is AWESOME and the state official in the DSS who was equally AWESOME and they both expedited getting the approval done quickly so things could keeping moving along. The two officers emailed back and forth and cc'ed us on everything (better than the adoption agency most times). These two amazing ladies totally devoted themselves to helping us out and getting this cleared up as fast as possible and we will be eternally grateful to them!
Our USCIS officer was extra awesome too because she continued working on our I-800 and I-864 paperwork we had sent in while waiting for the paper copy of the state's approval (they sent an electronic copy that allowed her to do this). As a result, our paperwork was not delayed for the I-800 and we got our provisional approval in the same time frame would have originally! In fact, IT ARRIVED TODAY!!! What could be better than that? Well, I'll tell ya!
Not only did we get things timely, our officer also sent it in the Fed Ex Overnight envelope we had sent with our I-800 application (something that had not happened before). But the package was bigger than just a letter and when I looked inside, I found the other two Fed Ex Overnight envelopes we had sent to USCIS previously that had never been used to send things back by our first officer. What a fabulous surprise! Even if we don't use them again, I was super impressed at our officer's thoroughness in handling our case and ensuring everything was complete, right down to returning these envelopes.
So, we have filled out our DS-230 forms and have the provisional approval all ready to go to Magda tomorrow Fed Ex International ASAP (not even going to look at the cost when I sign the receipt). Then we are desperately hoping to be in Poland soon after that with a short bonding period so we can make it back for school to start.
On the home front, we have been skyping with A every two weeks and everything has been going great. He called us Mama and Tato and asks every time when we are coming to get him. So cute! The foster family also just got two other smaller children there so I think A feels crowded a bit, lol. He has been very talkative and especially loves seeing the dogs on Skype. We have completed his room and just re-did his closet with some drawers, shelves, and hanger rods to make it look nicer and customize it for his use.
So we are hoping to hear about dates soon and will update when we know!
Take care all!
**congrats to Krystyna! She is reunited with her girls for their bonding period that just started!
**congrats to Kara and Tom who just turned in their dossier to China!
****UPDATE: I-800 and DS-230 forms sent out this am (Mon) international overnight (which basically means Wednesday). Still, woo-freaking-hoo!!!!
About that long ago, we got the notice form USCIS telling us that our home study had not received approval from the state of SC for our I-800A extension. We were dumbfounded because our social worker (who has been doing these for many years) had told us the state didn't require it so we didn't think about it. Lina did ask us if SC needed to approve the home study- don't even get me started on the fact she should know these things instead of us and should have guided us appropriately...but I digress! Anyway, we said we had checked with our SW and she said no so we thought we were good to go.
Then the pink letter from USCIS...
Needless to say, I was ticked! And very ticked at our SW especially who we really trusted! It appears she truly did not know you needed to get the state's approval (SC is only one of a very few who still require this) and as you can imagine, the officer at the state DSS was NOT happy with her when she found out she had told us we did not need it. I'm thinking some re-training and words will be exchanged there.
Luckily- and I will spare you most of the details here- we were able to contact our USCIS officer who is AWESOME and the state official in the DSS who was equally AWESOME and they both expedited getting the approval done quickly so things could keeping moving along. The two officers emailed back and forth and cc'ed us on everything (better than the adoption agency most times). These two amazing ladies totally devoted themselves to helping us out and getting this cleared up as fast as possible and we will be eternally grateful to them!
Our USCIS officer was extra awesome too because she continued working on our I-800 and I-864 paperwork we had sent in while waiting for the paper copy of the state's approval (they sent an electronic copy that allowed her to do this). As a result, our paperwork was not delayed for the I-800 and we got our provisional approval in the same time frame would have originally! In fact, IT ARRIVED TODAY!!! What could be better than that? Well, I'll tell ya!
Not only did we get things timely, our officer also sent it in the Fed Ex Overnight envelope we had sent with our I-800 application (something that had not happened before). But the package was bigger than just a letter and when I looked inside, I found the other two Fed Ex Overnight envelopes we had sent to USCIS previously that had never been used to send things back by our first officer. What a fabulous surprise! Even if we don't use them again, I was super impressed at our officer's thoroughness in handling our case and ensuring everything was complete, right down to returning these envelopes.
So, we have filled out our DS-230 forms and have the provisional approval all ready to go to Magda tomorrow Fed Ex International ASAP (not even going to look at the cost when I sign the receipt). Then we are desperately hoping to be in Poland soon after that with a short bonding period so we can make it back for school to start.
On the home front, we have been skyping with A every two weeks and everything has been going great. He called us Mama and Tato and asks every time when we are coming to get him. So cute! The foster family also just got two other smaller children there so I think A feels crowded a bit, lol. He has been very talkative and especially loves seeing the dogs on Skype. We have completed his room and just re-did his closet with some drawers, shelves, and hanger rods to make it look nicer and customize it for his use.
So we are hoping to hear about dates soon and will update when we know!
Take care all!
**congrats to Krystyna! She is reunited with her girls for their bonding period that just started!
**congrats to Kara and Tom who just turned in their dossier to China!
****UPDATE: I-800 and DS-230 forms sent out this am (Mon) international overnight (which basically means Wednesday). Still, woo-freaking-hoo!!!!
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Do Widzenia I-800 and I-864!
This last Friday we received all the documents we needed to file the I-800! Woohoo! We got everything together this weekend and today I headed to my friendly PakMail store (best shipping place ever!) to send them overnight to the lockbox facility. What a huge relief! Overall, the forms were not awful except for some minor information we needed, like the address of the adoption center in Olsztyn and whether we really needed to submit 3 year's tax returns and supportive documents and an employment letter.
As to the former, thank you Google Satellite Maps and Google Translator who helped me figure out the actual building we went to in Olsztyn. Because A is in foster care, they are actually the guardians/custodians and we needed that address for both the I-800 and I-864. So I googled about it, translated the page and address, typed it into Google Maps, and pulled up a street view to verfiy that it was indeed the building we were taken to for our interview with them before we met A the first time. Flipping amazing! Lina told us it would take her a week to find the address and I said "heck no!". It totally shouldn't take that long, not with today's technology. And ta da!
As to the other, the I-864 SPECIFICALLY says you that if you filed tax returns for the last 3 years (which we did) and can show adequate support with you last 3 years income (which we can), you only need to file the most recent tax return (that being 2011). You only need to include the previous 3 years tax returns, list assets, and/or include employment letters if you need to give further verification to your income and show that you can indeed support the "immigrant". We are blessed we can do that easily and we think Lina's instructions was just a generic form to cover everyone. Still, Brian checked with our case worker that did our I-800A extension just to be sure, and yup, that's what they want :)
So, the good news is we are all submitted and now just await the good ole USCIS in all its efficient glory. We hope to hear about dates soon :)
As to the former, thank you Google Satellite Maps and Google Translator who helped me figure out the actual building we went to in Olsztyn. Because A is in foster care, they are actually the guardians/custodians and we needed that address for both the I-800 and I-864. So I googled about it, translated the page and address, typed it into Google Maps, and pulled up a street view to verfiy that it was indeed the building we were taken to for our interview with them before we met A the first time. Flipping amazing! Lina told us it would take her a week to find the address and I said "heck no!". It totally shouldn't take that long, not with today's technology. And ta da!
As to the other, the I-864 SPECIFICALLY says you that if you filed tax returns for the last 3 years (which we did) and can show adequate support with you last 3 years income (which we can), you only need to file the most recent tax return (that being 2011). You only need to include the previous 3 years tax returns, list assets, and/or include employment letters if you need to give further verification to your income and show that you can indeed support the "immigrant". We are blessed we can do that easily and we think Lina's instructions was just a generic form to cover everyone. Still, Brian checked with our case worker that did our I-800A extension just to be sure, and yup, that's what they want :)
So, the good news is we are all submitted and now just await the good ole USCIS in all its efficient glory. We hope to hear about dates soon :)
Friday, May 11, 2012
Forever amazed by technology!
These last two weeks I have been so busy with catching up the blog on our trip in April, getting Case good and ready for the state assessment test, and chauffeuring him back and forth to soccer tryouts. I finally am caught up and so I wanted to get more current and write about our adventure with Skype.
Last Saturday (May 5), we held our first Skype with A! We wanted to do it the week before, one week after we last saw him, but due to some idiot independent contractors who cut the AT&T fiber optic line to our neighborhood, we had to postpone. Yea, thanks guys!
As the title of the post says, I am forever in awe of technology and how we increasingly can communicate more efficiently. I mean it was very cool being able to get on wifi in Poland and follow things back home on Facebook (and check our local newspaper online to ensure the house didn't burn down, lol). Still more amazing is Skype and its ever increasing capabilities. Here we are in South Carolina Skyping/video chatting with Poland which is over 5000 miles away! SO cool!
When we got on the call, we were worried about not being able to say much and had our iPads with Google translate all ready to go just in case. However, when we connected though, Skype itself could detect where you were calling to and when you initiated the chat (along with the video), it automatically translated into the language for the country! Even cooler! Which essentially meant that while we were video waving and talking etc, we could also type in the chat box back and forth. Huge.
During the call, A was so darn cute and talked to us for over 45 min (thank you again instant translator). He even typed some things like his name himself, which was neat. Not much mind you, but it was sweet what he did do. We re-verified that he indeed loves cars...especially Cars (the movie) and would like his room to have things like that in it. Done! He also again confirmed that his favorite color is a resounding "CZERWONY (red)!", so it sounds like he and Daddy will be cheering for Wisconsin, while Mama and Case back the Maize and Blue, lol. He LOVED seeing the dogs when we held them up to say hi and wave, lol! Lucky was the particular favorite as he yelled out "Lucky!" lol! We typed to the foster mom how he was doing about the adoption and she said is was very excited about everything and that he misses us alot (awww!).
We ended after about 45 min. because Brian was on call and had to get to the hospital (which we told them and they understood). We made plans to do a second call in two weeks (so a week from tomorrow). It is an awesome technological wonder and I can't imagine how we could manage during the process without Skype. We are also lucky the Central Authority actually encouraged the communication and video chats in our case; because that is not always the norm we have found out.
We can't wait until next Saturday to talk with A again. For this weekend though, I'll plan to enjoy Mother's Day with Case, while sending lots of love over the ocean to my second little boy :)
Last Saturday (May 5), we held our first Skype with A! We wanted to do it the week before, one week after we last saw him, but due to some idiot independent contractors who cut the AT&T fiber optic line to our neighborhood, we had to postpone. Yea, thanks guys!
As the title of the post says, I am forever in awe of technology and how we increasingly can communicate more efficiently. I mean it was very cool being able to get on wifi in Poland and follow things back home on Facebook (and check our local newspaper online to ensure the house didn't burn down, lol). Still more amazing is Skype and its ever increasing capabilities. Here we are in South Carolina Skyping/video chatting with Poland which is over 5000 miles away! SO cool!
When we got on the call, we were worried about not being able to say much and had our iPads with Google translate all ready to go just in case. However, when we connected though, Skype itself could detect where you were calling to and when you initiated the chat (along with the video), it automatically translated into the language for the country! Even cooler! Which essentially meant that while we were video waving and talking etc, we could also type in the chat box back and forth. Huge.
During the call, A was so darn cute and talked to us for over 45 min (thank you again instant translator). He even typed some things like his name himself, which was neat. Not much mind you, but it was sweet what he did do. We re-verified that he indeed loves cars...especially Cars (the movie) and would like his room to have things like that in it. Done! He also again confirmed that his favorite color is a resounding "CZERWONY (red)!", so it sounds like he and Daddy will be cheering for Wisconsin, while Mama and Case back the Maize and Blue, lol. He LOVED seeing the dogs when we held them up to say hi and wave, lol! Lucky was the particular favorite as he yelled out "Lucky!" lol! We typed to the foster mom how he was doing about the adoption and she said is was very excited about everything and that he misses us alot (awww!).
We ended after about 45 min. because Brian was on call and had to get to the hospital (which we told them and they understood). We made plans to do a second call in two weeks (so a week from tomorrow). It is an awesome technological wonder and I can't imagine how we could manage during the process without Skype. We are also lucky the Central Authority actually encouraged the communication and video chats in our case; because that is not always the norm we have found out.
We can't wait until next Saturday to talk with A again. For this weekend though, I'll plan to enjoy Mother's Day with Case, while sending lots of love over the ocean to my second little boy :)
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Not goodbye, just until we meet again
On Friday we got up feeling both a little excitement and sadness since this would be our last day seeing A. We packed up our luggage and got everything set because once we finished our morning visit, Magda's driver Gregory would pick us up at the foster home and brings back so we could check out and head back to Warsaw. We were officially today Magda-less, which of course meant translator-less; but we were confident we could survive fine, lol. The only apprehension we had was whether we could communicate well with A and the foster parents since we didn't have our go-between.
After breakfast, we decided to walk to the foster family's home- as I said, it is a small enough town and everyone else walked, so we thought why not! Their home was maybe a mile from our hotel so it was definitely doable. The weather was cooperating and it was pleasantly cool with no rain. Also, we really needed to stretch our legs and get some exercise because we had been going and going and had not been as active as we liked.
On our other excursions that week, we had noticed a nice flower shop (kwiaty!)and thought it would be nice gesture to bring the foster mom flowers since they have taken such good care of A and had been so gracious and welcoming to us in their home. Case picked out some very pretty pink roses and carnations and remembered reading that its considered good luck to bring an odd number in Poland so he insisted on that. The lady in the shop wrapped them up beautifully and we set off.
We didn't get any farther than the town square (maybe 50-100 yards from the shop) when we heard "honk honk!". We looked around and sure enough, we recognized the foster dad in his van! I told you it was a small town, lol! He was on his way to take the littlest girl to school and he stopped and asked if we wanted a ride to his house. Although we had wanted to stretch our legs a bit, we definitely accepted the offer so as not to be rude. We started to move- probably a mile an hour- and he was turned, talking to Brian in the front seat next to him when "BANG!", he rear ended the car in front of him! To be fair, the other driver did stop short and we were barely moving, but it was still a little jolt. The foster dad got out to talk to the other driver and look at their bumpers (you could tell the other guy was definitely thinking there was a bunch of damage) but there was none- not even a scratch. They shook hands and he got back in. You could tell he was a little embarrassed, but we just acted like it was no big deal and we continued on. Case, being a boy, thought the whole incident was exciting and "cool", lol. Yeah, ok, whatever. Lol.
We got to the house and as every day before, A was waiting for us at the door and was very excited. We came in and to our very pleasant surprise, the foster mom had their laptop out with Google translate already fired up and ready to go! It made talking much easier and took a load of stress off us all. While Case and A played, we asked her about how much A knew about the adoption and how much he understood. She said he had an idea but overall, not much.
We realized from talking also that this was the first time they had gone through the formal adoption process out of their home as well. Because they have cared for the other kids whose parental rights aren't severed yet for so long, they had not actually gone through all the steps. In a weird way, this is comforting too because they are just as new to it as we are and we could help each other. Also, because A had not been with them as long as the others, it probably presents the perfect situation where they didn't have to say goodbye to the others that they have had so long. We told her what Magda had told us, that now that we have agreed to go ahead with it, adoption officials with the regional center would begin working with A on an age-appropriate level so he could begin to come to grips with what it all means and understand.
We "talked" some more and then brought A out to show him the picture book we were leaving with him. We showed him the pictures and through Google translate and the foster mom explaining, we asked him if he would like to come live with us. He sat next to Brian during this and little by little, snuggled against him. He didn't say much, but nodded a few times. The one thing he wouldn't do was to say the dogs names back to us, but we didn't push it and attribute it more to being in shock than anything else. Interestingly, the word for shock in Polish is szok, so there you go. Who knew? After we finished looking at the pictures, he wanted to go play with Case, which was totally fine and actually good and normal.
He really seemed to gravitate more to Brian than me, which is ok because I think he needs a father figure (the foster dad works alot) and there is probably a little mistrust of a "mom" figure, which is totally understandable based on his background. Not that he wasn't ok with me, he just seemed to like Brian a lot this trip. I thought at first maybe this was because the foster mom was there and he felt "disloyal" or something to her, but I think now it was more that he just took to Brian. He told them he liked me a lot too, so I'm not insecure about any of that.
One interesting thing we found out was that they told us that they never have let any of the kids call them "Mama and Tato"- mom and dad in Polish. Instead, they have them call them "Auntie and Uncle". I was impressed by that because they really take their roles as foster parents seriously and know that the ultimate goal was to get the kids families, so they didn't want to confuse them. In fact, A called Brian "Uncle" the second time we visited, which Magda had said was a good sign. He called me "pani", or lady, but that was totally fine, lol. As I said, I would be more concerned if he was overly comfortable with us both before he knew us. A little trepidation is healthy :)
As the time to leave grew nearer, we went to play with A before our driver came. I could tell that the foster mom was a little sad about the prospect of A leaving some day, but that she also understood and was ok with everything. We played computers with him and the stress/shock he had seemed to have earlier waned. He laughed and continued talking up a storm in no time.
Around noon, our driver arrived and instead of goodbyes, we said see you soons. We had prearranged to have Skype video chats every 2 weeks (when Magda was with us, she and the foster family suggested it and we heartily agreed) so we knew we would literally see him soon. A gave us all big hugs and we left feeling really good about everything. As Brian said, we couldn't ask for a better situation for him and better fit for our family.
We had a great trip back to Warsaw. We stopped for lunch at this cool log cabin-themed restaurant which was excellent (at our driver's recommendation) and Case got to pet an iguana they had in a cage/terrarium. He loved that!
We made our way back into the city and Magda had given the driver instructions to take us a couple of places- 1)to a store to find dark chocolate (Case's fave!) and Levazza coffee; and 2)to the soccer stadium and store for the Warsaw soccer club Legia Warsawa. Gregory the driver was TOTALLY into this and came in to the soccer store and explained to us all about the club, insignias, history, and even sang their song to us! It was great! I posted the pic of the soccer stadium they have built for Euro 2012, but what I didn't say was Legia Warsawa's stadium sits over 30,000 and is right across the Vistula from it too. They love their futbol there! They were in first place in their division as our our trip and there was a game the next day so the place was hopping! Case had a blast at the store and we all got shirts and he got a scarf too. We even brought back a shirt for his principal (he is Irish and a huge soccer fan too!).
Then we got back in the car and fought the rush hour traffic on our way to the Courtyard Marriott at the airport. There is building going on everywhere in Warsaw and the town is booming! New train tracks being laid, new office/business complexes under construction, new apartment buildings, you name it! We settled up with Gregory, said "Do widezenia", and then chilled out. Our flight back was an early 6:05am so we wanted to take it easy and digest all that had happened.
On Saturday we got up and headed to the airport (which was really pretty efficient) and we boarded a very full flight to Amsterdam with connection to Atlanta and then on to Charlotte. I won't bore you with flight details though. All were good flights, but the one to Atlanta was almost 10 hours- no way we are doing that again. We'll probably look to break it up more by flying through Detroit, which we love and know well.
We arriving safe and sound back in Charlotte at about 4pm our time (which was 10pm Poland time) and headed back home. We stopped to eat and finally got inside our house about 8:30pm EST. We were all ready to drop and immediately went to bed- no unpacking or anything.
It was a great trip overall and definitely life-changing for us all. We cannot wait to get back to not only A, but also to a country we fell in love with. We plan to visit the town Brian's great grandparents lived in and castles and various sites, but mostly we just want to go back. :)
Oh and maybe a little soccer if we get lucky and are there during Euro 2012. That. Would. ROCK!
After breakfast, we decided to walk to the foster family's home- as I said, it is a small enough town and everyone else walked, so we thought why not! Their home was maybe a mile from our hotel so it was definitely doable. The weather was cooperating and it was pleasantly cool with no rain. Also, we really needed to stretch our legs and get some exercise because we had been going and going and had not been as active as we liked.
On our other excursions that week, we had noticed a nice flower shop (kwiaty!)and thought it would be nice gesture to bring the foster mom flowers since they have taken such good care of A and had been so gracious and welcoming to us in their home. Case picked out some very pretty pink roses and carnations and remembered reading that its considered good luck to bring an odd number in Poland so he insisted on that. The lady in the shop wrapped them up beautifully and we set off.
We didn't get any farther than the town square (maybe 50-100 yards from the shop) when we heard "honk honk!". We looked around and sure enough, we recognized the foster dad in his van! I told you it was a small town, lol! He was on his way to take the littlest girl to school and he stopped and asked if we wanted a ride to his house. Although we had wanted to stretch our legs a bit, we definitely accepted the offer so as not to be rude. We started to move- probably a mile an hour- and he was turned, talking to Brian in the front seat next to him when "BANG!", he rear ended the car in front of him! To be fair, the other driver did stop short and we were barely moving, but it was still a little jolt. The foster dad got out to talk to the other driver and look at their bumpers (you could tell the other guy was definitely thinking there was a bunch of damage) but there was none- not even a scratch. They shook hands and he got back in. You could tell he was a little embarrassed, but we just acted like it was no big deal and we continued on. Case, being a boy, thought the whole incident was exciting and "cool", lol. Yeah, ok, whatever. Lol.
We got to the house and as every day before, A was waiting for us at the door and was very excited. We came in and to our very pleasant surprise, the foster mom had their laptop out with Google translate already fired up and ready to go! It made talking much easier and took a load of stress off us all. While Case and A played, we asked her about how much A knew about the adoption and how much he understood. She said he had an idea but overall, not much.
We realized from talking also that this was the first time they had gone through the formal adoption process out of their home as well. Because they have cared for the other kids whose parental rights aren't severed yet for so long, they had not actually gone through all the steps. In a weird way, this is comforting too because they are just as new to it as we are and we could help each other. Also, because A had not been with them as long as the others, it probably presents the perfect situation where they didn't have to say goodbye to the others that they have had so long. We told her what Magda had told us, that now that we have agreed to go ahead with it, adoption officials with the regional center would begin working with A on an age-appropriate level so he could begin to come to grips with what it all means and understand.
We "talked" some more and then brought A out to show him the picture book we were leaving with him. We showed him the pictures and through Google translate and the foster mom explaining, we asked him if he would like to come live with us. He sat next to Brian during this and little by little, snuggled against him. He didn't say much, but nodded a few times. The one thing he wouldn't do was to say the dogs names back to us, but we didn't push it and attribute it more to being in shock than anything else. Interestingly, the word for shock in Polish is szok, so there you go. Who knew? After we finished looking at the pictures, he wanted to go play with Case, which was totally fine and actually good and normal.
He really seemed to gravitate more to Brian than me, which is ok because I think he needs a father figure (the foster dad works alot) and there is probably a little mistrust of a "mom" figure, which is totally understandable based on his background. Not that he wasn't ok with me, he just seemed to like Brian a lot this trip. I thought at first maybe this was because the foster mom was there and he felt "disloyal" or something to her, but I think now it was more that he just took to Brian. He told them he liked me a lot too, so I'm not insecure about any of that.
One interesting thing we found out was that they told us that they never have let any of the kids call them "Mama and Tato"- mom and dad in Polish. Instead, they have them call them "Auntie and Uncle". I was impressed by that because they really take their roles as foster parents seriously and know that the ultimate goal was to get the kids families, so they didn't want to confuse them. In fact, A called Brian "Uncle" the second time we visited, which Magda had said was a good sign. He called me "pani", or lady, but that was totally fine, lol. As I said, I would be more concerned if he was overly comfortable with us both before he knew us. A little trepidation is healthy :)
As the time to leave grew nearer, we went to play with A before our driver came. I could tell that the foster mom was a little sad about the prospect of A leaving some day, but that she also understood and was ok with everything. We played computers with him and the stress/shock he had seemed to have earlier waned. He laughed and continued talking up a storm in no time.
Around noon, our driver arrived and instead of goodbyes, we said see you soons. We had prearranged to have Skype video chats every 2 weeks (when Magda was with us, she and the foster family suggested it and we heartily agreed) so we knew we would literally see him soon. A gave us all big hugs and we left feeling really good about everything. As Brian said, we couldn't ask for a better situation for him and better fit for our family.
We had a great trip back to Warsaw. We stopped for lunch at this cool log cabin-themed restaurant which was excellent (at our driver's recommendation) and Case got to pet an iguana they had in a cage/terrarium. He loved that!
 |
| This crazy thing closed its eyes and lifted its head and fell asleep when Case was petting it! So docile! And yes, we washed hands afterwards, lol. |
We made our way back into the city and Magda had given the driver instructions to take us a couple of places- 1)to a store to find dark chocolate (Case's fave!) and Levazza coffee; and 2)to the soccer stadium and store for the Warsaw soccer club Legia Warsawa. Gregory the driver was TOTALLY into this and came in to the soccer store and explained to us all about the club, insignias, history, and even sang their song to us! It was great! I posted the pic of the soccer stadium they have built for Euro 2012, but what I didn't say was Legia Warsawa's stadium sits over 30,000 and is right across the Vistula from it too. They love their futbol there! They were in first place in their division as our our trip and there was a game the next day so the place was hopping! Case had a blast at the store and we all got shirts and he got a scarf too. We even brought back a shirt for his principal (he is Irish and a huge soccer fan too!).
Then we got back in the car and fought the rush hour traffic on our way to the Courtyard Marriott at the airport. There is building going on everywhere in Warsaw and the town is booming! New train tracks being laid, new office/business complexes under construction, new apartment buildings, you name it! We settled up with Gregory, said "Do widezenia", and then chilled out. Our flight back was an early 6:05am so we wanted to take it easy and digest all that had happened.
On Saturday we got up and headed to the airport (which was really pretty efficient) and we boarded a very full flight to Amsterdam with connection to Atlanta and then on to Charlotte. I won't bore you with flight details though. All were good flights, but the one to Atlanta was almost 10 hours- no way we are doing that again. We'll probably look to break it up more by flying through Detroit, which we love and know well.
We arriving safe and sound back in Charlotte at about 4pm our time (which was 10pm Poland time) and headed back home. We stopped to eat and finally got inside our house about 8:30pm EST. We were all ready to drop and immediately went to bed- no unpacking or anything.
It was a great trip overall and definitely life-changing for us all. We cannot wait to get back to not only A, but also to a country we fell in love with. We plan to visit the town Brian's great grandparents lived in and castles and various sites, but mostly we just want to go back. :)
Oh and maybe a little soccer if we get lucky and are there during Euro 2012. That. Would. ROCK!
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Holy Shrine Batman!
On Thursday, we enjoyed breakfast again with Magda and then met A's foster dad outside for a totally different adventure, if you will. As luck would have it, the foster family had decided a while ago to have A evaluated to see if he had ADD/ADHD and the appointment just happened to coincide with our visit that week (can you say 'God at work' ??). We were very excited to accompany him and get current,relevant information about his health and well-being.
Although A is very healthy physically, we definitely know its good to understand his mental/emotional health as well. This is especially true considering his background- which I won't go into. The main concerns that prompted the appointment were mostly generated by teacher evaluations the family received over the last year. Nothing earth-shattering, but definitely a reason to have him evaluated by a doctor.
In the States, he would have been seen much sooner; but in Poland (as in most of Europe with more socialized medicine), the wait for an appointment can be very long. And this is what many people in our country just do not understand and ultimately, will not be happy with. Physicians see it but the vast majority that call for us to adopt a "European" health care model do not. There is no question we need some sort if change here, but it has to be unique to the US and our lifestyles and expectations and consistent with what we deem appropriate, timely care. Not an easy task and definitely one the medical professionals, rather than the politicians and insurance lobbies should be developing, but alas... So, I will leave that subject behind and continue with our adventure.
We met the foster dad and A outside in their van and climbed on in. I sat in the way back behind A and Case sat beside him, at A's request. Brian sat up front with the dad because there was more legroom, with Magda behind him, next to Case. Immediate observations we made were again all good. For example, A had on appropriate clothing for the day (it was chilly), he was in a car seat appropriate for his age/weight that was in good condition. A greeted us with smiles all around and we set off. During the ride to the hospital in the regional city, the one thing that stood out was the fact A sat still and enjoyed the ride. He didn't fidget or kick his feet or talk endlessly or engage in other behaviors you usually see with a child that has true ADD/ADHD. He was very, very good. We chit-chatted via Magda on the ride which lasted about 40 min.
Our appointment was for 10:00am and we arrived right on schedule. The funniest thing was the way they park there. No painted spots on the street like in the US; they just drive up and park on the sidewalks, which are wide to accommodate this. And omg, the way they fit their cars into the tightest spots is impressive! We walked to the area of the hospital that was mainly doctor's offices and sat down to wait. The boys played quietly,on the iPad taking turns and being very good- again, not something an ADD/ADHD child can do easily.
While we waited the foster dad talked to us through Magda and told us more about why they sought the appointment and showed us the teacher evaluations for A. Tis is kinda bad to say, but when we heard and read the "reasons", we almost laughed. First of all, apparently in Polish schools, they expect kids to sit for at least 45 min for their lessons. They said A could not do that and seemed bored, got up, moved around, or interrupted the teachers. Now, I don't know about anyone else, but from all my experience with the kids in Case's school over the years and his friends, I don't know over many- or any- kindergarteners or first graders who can sit still for that long. I also know that often that signifies a child that is bored and needs to be challenged or taught differently. I mean, by these standards just about every kid in Case's grade level at this age and now would be classified as ADD/ADHD and be on some sort of treatment plan! Including Case, who at age 7 couldn't sit still that long either and he definitely doesn't have ADD. We relayed these thoughts and both Magda and the foster dad agreed completely. So that was encouraging for us and for the foster dad I think, because he thought we would really balk at this diagnosis.
We waited about 1/2hour until we saw the doctors assigned that day begin the arrive. According to Magda, they can show up when they want rather than when they have appointments and all you as a patient cando is wait. Oy. Most come generally on time, but you never know. As others went in for their appointments, we saw that the rooms were fairly small with just a desk and chairs so we made the decision that Brian, Magda, and the foster dad would go in with A and Case and I would wait in the hall. Magda told us not to expect a long appointment because the doctors generally liked to hustle people in and out quickly- both she and the foster dad did not have the greatest things to say about the health care system there and repeatedly said how lucky we are in the US. Gives pause to the things we complain about here for sure.
The hallway holding hospital offices was brightly lit, but plain white and not very well decorated with haphazard pictures chosen that hung every so often. It was clean, but old. The wait areas were wooden benches along the walls of the hallway, and clearly not intended for people to want to hang out there long. Very different than here where we deem comfort an important factor in waiting rooms. Case and I hung out and played games together while we waited. They were in there for about a 1/2 hour and this did concern me a bit. Brian relayed to me later what went on inside.
Apparently after they went in, Magda told the female doctor that Brian was a US physician and why he was there etc. Magda laughed when telling me later, but she said the doctor seemed very nervous with Brian there and almost scared. lol! Granted, he is a big guy, but he never comes off imposing at all. But hey, we'll take it if it helps! Nevertheless, this was to our advantage because she went over the reports thoroughly and talked them through it all. She said that based solely in the school reports, the state would probably classify him as having ADD and would recommend therapy to help him focus before medications. This was good because it indicated even they didn't see this as a serious problem. Most importantly though, A sat on Brian's lap through the entire appointment without fussing or fidgeting, another good sign.
We left pretty happy with what we heard and journeyed back to town. We realized that it was already noon and Case and A both needed to eat. We had plans to go back to the house with A after the appointment, but since we had been with him all morning, we decided to get dropped off at the hotel. At that time, we also decided to not have an afternoon visit. Not only did we feel we needed a little break to really assess things (although we were good overall), but we thought A did too. We also did not really want to be there again when the other kids were there because they tended to usurp our time away from A. Magda agreed and relayed the plans to the foster dad. By the time we got back to hotel it was around 1:00 pm and we said out goodbyes. Magda checked out of the hotel and left to run some errands while we got lunch. She then told us she would be coming back because she wanted to take us somewhere cool in the afternoon and she really wanted Case to see it. So we agreed to meet around 3:30 for our second adventure of the day.
The place she took us is called Swięta Lipka, a shrine to St. Mary. It was left undisturbed during and after WWII and is literally in the middle of nowhere. On our ride there, we drive through peaceful forests and passed a beautiful lake and small palace/mansion. As we got closer, we began to see big roadside Stations of the Cross, each probably 200 yards from each other that lead to the shrine itself. I could totally see people making a pilgrimage along this route and wondered at the length and cause for reflection it must bring. What was really cool about Magda making a point to take us there was that a few days earlier, I had shared with her that Mary was very important to me and that I had looked to Mary as a mother, after my own mother passed away. So although it was a really great educational experience for Case, it was also a very spiritual experience for me.
When we arrived, we were blown away! Wow...all we could say was, wow. It was absolutely breathtaking to see! Although it is a popular tourist destination, there was no one else in the parking lot and the gates were open. We had the whole place to ourselves- so cool. my descriptions truly cannot do it justice so here are some pictures:
We got back to the hotel around 5:00 and said our goodbyes to Magda (and paid her the next installment for the adoption- man was that burning a hole in my purse!). We then decided to go back on our own to the little eclectic restaurant we had tried before. It was raining but we braved the elements and walked there, which felt great. We had an awesome meal and I was very proud of all of us that we were able to order and even customize what we wanted in Polish! We had come a long way, baby!
We headed back to get some rest, pack a bit, and get ourselves together since the next morning would be our final visit with A.....and when we let him know we were adopting him.
Although A is very healthy physically, we definitely know its good to understand his mental/emotional health as well. This is especially true considering his background- which I won't go into. The main concerns that prompted the appointment were mostly generated by teacher evaluations the family received over the last year. Nothing earth-shattering, but definitely a reason to have him evaluated by a doctor.
In the States, he would have been seen much sooner; but in Poland (as in most of Europe with more socialized medicine), the wait for an appointment can be very long. And this is what many people in our country just do not understand and ultimately, will not be happy with. Physicians see it but the vast majority that call for us to adopt a "European" health care model do not. There is no question we need some sort if change here, but it has to be unique to the US and our lifestyles and expectations and consistent with what we deem appropriate, timely care. Not an easy task and definitely one the medical professionals, rather than the politicians and insurance lobbies should be developing, but alas... So, I will leave that subject behind and continue with our adventure.
We met the foster dad and A outside in their van and climbed on in. I sat in the way back behind A and Case sat beside him, at A's request. Brian sat up front with the dad because there was more legroom, with Magda behind him, next to Case. Immediate observations we made were again all good. For example, A had on appropriate clothing for the day (it was chilly), he was in a car seat appropriate for his age/weight that was in good condition. A greeted us with smiles all around and we set off. During the ride to the hospital in the regional city, the one thing that stood out was the fact A sat still and enjoyed the ride. He didn't fidget or kick his feet or talk endlessly or engage in other behaviors you usually see with a child that has true ADD/ADHD. He was very, very good. We chit-chatted via Magda on the ride which lasted about 40 min.
Our appointment was for 10:00am and we arrived right on schedule. The funniest thing was the way they park there. No painted spots on the street like in the US; they just drive up and park on the sidewalks, which are wide to accommodate this. And omg, the way they fit their cars into the tightest spots is impressive! We walked to the area of the hospital that was mainly doctor's offices and sat down to wait. The boys played quietly,on the iPad taking turns and being very good- again, not something an ADD/ADHD child can do easily.
While we waited the foster dad talked to us through Magda and told us more about why they sought the appointment and showed us the teacher evaluations for A. Tis is kinda bad to say, but when we heard and read the "reasons", we almost laughed. First of all, apparently in Polish schools, they expect kids to sit for at least 45 min for their lessons. They said A could not do that and seemed bored, got up, moved around, or interrupted the teachers. Now, I don't know about anyone else, but from all my experience with the kids in Case's school over the years and his friends, I don't know over many- or any- kindergarteners or first graders who can sit still for that long. I also know that often that signifies a child that is bored and needs to be challenged or taught differently. I mean, by these standards just about every kid in Case's grade level at this age and now would be classified as ADD/ADHD and be on some sort of treatment plan! Including Case, who at age 7 couldn't sit still that long either and he definitely doesn't have ADD. We relayed these thoughts and both Magda and the foster dad agreed completely. So that was encouraging for us and for the foster dad I think, because he thought we would really balk at this diagnosis.
We waited about 1/2hour until we saw the doctors assigned that day begin the arrive. According to Magda, they can show up when they want rather than when they have appointments and all you as a patient cando is wait. Oy. Most come generally on time, but you never know. As others went in for their appointments, we saw that the rooms were fairly small with just a desk and chairs so we made the decision that Brian, Magda, and the foster dad would go in with A and Case and I would wait in the hall. Magda told us not to expect a long appointment because the doctors generally liked to hustle people in and out quickly- both she and the foster dad did not have the greatest things to say about the health care system there and repeatedly said how lucky we are in the US. Gives pause to the things we complain about here for sure.
The hallway holding hospital offices was brightly lit, but plain white and not very well decorated with haphazard pictures chosen that hung every so often. It was clean, but old. The wait areas were wooden benches along the walls of the hallway, and clearly not intended for people to want to hang out there long. Very different than here where we deem comfort an important factor in waiting rooms. Case and I hung out and played games together while we waited. They were in there for about a 1/2 hour and this did concern me a bit. Brian relayed to me later what went on inside.
 |
| Ok, these are all a little...off because I wasn't sure I should be photographing them. Guess I got paranoid from the communist era architecture! lol |
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| The doors on left are all the small doctor's offices for these visits |
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| Comfy seats...not! |
Apparently after they went in, Magda told the female doctor that Brian was a US physician and why he was there etc. Magda laughed when telling me later, but she said the doctor seemed very nervous with Brian there and almost scared. lol! Granted, he is a big guy, but he never comes off imposing at all. But hey, we'll take it if it helps! Nevertheless, this was to our advantage because she went over the reports thoroughly and talked them through it all. She said that based solely in the school reports, the state would probably classify him as having ADD and would recommend therapy to help him focus before medications. This was good because it indicated even they didn't see this as a serious problem. Most importantly though, A sat on Brian's lap through the entire appointment without fussing or fidgeting, another good sign.
We left pretty happy with what we heard and journeyed back to town. We realized that it was already noon and Case and A both needed to eat. We had plans to go back to the house with A after the appointment, but since we had been with him all morning, we decided to get dropped off at the hotel. At that time, we also decided to not have an afternoon visit. Not only did we feel we needed a little break to really assess things (although we were good overall), but we thought A did too. We also did not really want to be there again when the other kids were there because they tended to usurp our time away from A. Magda agreed and relayed the plans to the foster dad. By the time we got back to hotel it was around 1:00 pm and we said out goodbyes. Magda checked out of the hotel and left to run some errands while we got lunch. She then told us she would be coming back because she wanted to take us somewhere cool in the afternoon and she really wanted Case to see it. So we agreed to meet around 3:30 for our second adventure of the day.
The place she took us is called Swięta Lipka, a shrine to St. Mary. It was left undisturbed during and after WWII and is literally in the middle of nowhere. On our ride there, we drive through peaceful forests and passed a beautiful lake and small palace/mansion. As we got closer, we began to see big roadside Stations of the Cross, each probably 200 yards from each other that lead to the shrine itself. I could totally see people making a pilgrimage along this route and wondered at the length and cause for reflection it must bring. What was really cool about Magda making a point to take us there was that a few days earlier, I had shared with her that Mary was very important to me and that I had looked to Mary as a mother, after my own mother passed away. So although it was a really great educational experience for Case, it was also a very spiritual experience for me.
When we arrived, we were blown away! Wow...all we could say was, wow. It was absolutely breathtaking to see! Although it is a popular tourist destination, there was no one else in the parking lot and the gates were open. We had the whole place to ourselves- so cool. my descriptions truly cannot do it justice so here are some pictures:
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| This little (big) guy was sitting on a car waiting for us when we arrived! |
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| Swieta Lipka- front |
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| Front gates |
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| The artistry and intricacy was amazing! |
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| These statues lined the side walls on either side of the gates- they are figures that represent Jesus' bloodline/family from Abraham to Joseph. Powerful! |
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| Frescoes just inside the gates |
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| Main entrance to church. A church has stood her for centuries on this very site, where miracles were attributed. It started with an image of Mary carved in a lime tree. |
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| Oh my....The main altar |
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| The depiction of the infamous lime tree |
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| Bad picture, but I was trying to capture the image cast in silver and gold behind the altar without a flash. |
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| Frescoes overhead |
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| The organ- no words... |
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| Pure beauty |
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| Exterior shot of statues and porticoes where frescoes are from steps of Shrine |
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| History of the Shrine- English on left |
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| Bronze statue honoring Blessed JP II to left of Shrine |
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| Add caption |
We got back to the hotel around 5:00 and said our goodbyes to Magda (and paid her the next installment for the adoption- man was that burning a hole in my purse!). We then decided to go back on our own to the little eclectic restaurant we had tried before. It was raining but we braved the elements and walked there, which felt great. We had an awesome meal and I was very proud of all of us that we were able to order and even customize what we wanted in Polish! We had come a long way, baby!
We headed back to get some rest, pack a bit, and get ourselves together since the next morning would be our final visit with A.....and when we let him know we were adopting him.
Saturday, May 5, 2012
Beautiful towns and amazing sights- Wednesday
On Wednesday, after another hilarious breakfast with Magda at the hotel, we again visited A in the morning. He was not only ready and waiting at the door to play with us, he barely let Case get his coat off before dragging him upstairs to play. When he saw us, he yelled "Hello!". It was super cute! Magda was with us again the whole time and while the boys we playing, we got to talk more specifics about A. Overall, he is very healthy. There were concerns that he was possibly ADD/ADHD and we talked about what that meant and what we thought. Both Brian and I being in the medical profession gave our two cents from what we had seen so far. In my nursing, I have done clinicals with in-patient child psych where I saw true ADHD (not pretty, let tell you) and being a school volunteer for years and current PTO president, I have a good grasp of what it means for sure. We told them that from what we had seen so far, he appeared to be a normal, active 7 yr old, with little if any diagnosable ADD. The big thing to remember is that this is not why he qualified for adoption, so we weren't afraid to share this with the foster mom and Magda. Still, we decided to test him out to see.
We sat down in the family room (while Magda and the foster mom chatted downstairs in the kitchen- its kinda a split level house) and got out UNO to play. UNO is a fabulous game because its easy to learn, you use colors and numbers, and eventually you can use it for math skills in adding up rounds etc. We love it and it definitely helped Case learn his addition and subtraction early. So it seemed the perfect game to try.
Case and he were in A's bedroom, which has a door off the family room. Case came out and we asked A to come out and join us too, but at first he was being a little willful and wanted to keep playing computers. We stayed where we were and just decided to play and see if he would eventually join us. True to all little kids that age, he realized we were probably having more fun and his curiosity got the best of him, so he came out to play too. I knew it, lol! We starting playing and ended up playing 3 whole games. It was even better than we could have hoped. Not only was it fun and a first "family" activity, but more importantly there were 3 things we observed: 1) he was able to focus and sit still enough to play the game, 3 times in fact; 2) he is very smart and picked up the rules, even with the language difference- we got to practice and use Polish words for colors and numbers and he practice English; and 3) he interacted with us great and had fun! From that alone, we definitely saw no big evidence of extreme ADD/ADHD, which was encouraging as well.
We visited until lunch again and then left for a break in the afternoon. Magda said she had an errand to run in the bigger town so we were on our own until about 3:30pm. And then true to how funny she is, she finally just admitted she really had to go to the mall there to go shopping! Apparently, Magda loves the malls, lol. We laughed and I said I was just so totally excited there was a mall! lol She obviously felt very comfortable with us because she then started telling me about what she was thinking of buying and that she would show me when he got back, etc. We were totally gabbing like girls, lol!
We had lunch again at the same pizza place and they totally remembered us. We started realizing that not only did we probably stick out because Brian is 6'4" and we spoke English etc, but more than likely all these people knew each other in this small town and we definitely were new. LOL! It was delicious again and then we set out with camera in hand to explore the town square and surrounding streets. The sun had come out and the skies were clear and the town looked lovely! Here are a few pics:
We then decided to walk to the church. Outside, on its left was an intricate monument dedicated to Blessed John Paul II, who as you know was from Poland. It was in a very nicely manicured courtyard and as you can see from the candles, many people visit it to pay their respects and pray for his intercession.
We then went inside the church. It was really cool! And I mean that two-fold: it was very interesting and very cold! Definitely never upgraded the 16th century church with heating. The architectural elements were so amazing. Here are a few pics:
We did not stay long and in the time we were in there, many ladies came in to pray and reflect. It was really nice feeling the comfort of the Catholic Church and the fact this is an extremely religious, catholic country and town.
Just before we left, we saw a plaque next to the inside door- it said that during WWII, the church had been used as a headquarters/gathering place for Nazi troops. Talk about a sobering reminder of what this beautiful town and country had to endure. Later came the Red Army, who in many ways were worse. I just can't imagine.
In the afternoon, after Magda returned with some totally cute clothes and shoes etc (lol), we went back for our second visit of the day. This time again, the other kids were home from school. It was fun and we played with them as well (UNO again) and we shared iPads and played Sonic and Angry Birds. It was very sweet. However, we realized two things: that we weren't getting as much time with just A and that the kids were really trying to get our attention and we didn't want to confuse them that we were there for them (the older kids especially). So after we left, we talked with Magda about maybe only coming the following morning or until the kids came home. The other kids were great, no question, we just wanted to spend time with A before we left. She totally agreed.
We left around 6:00pm after another great visit. We really felt totally comfortable with everything by this time and as Brian said, he just wished we could take him with us now. A had definitely taken to Brian the most and wanted him to hold him alot. Brian is like a big teddy bear, so I think his size was comforting to A. he liked Case and I as well; but Brian was the favorite this day by far. :)
We met Magda again for dinner and we went into town to another restaurant recommended by the foster families bio son. Totally walkable but Magda insisted she drive, lol. The restaurant was in an old fabric manufacturing warehouse that had been renovated obviously. It had really great food and was totally eclectic with a blend of things going on, which made it even cooler ! Kinda pub-like with an aerobics studio above us and a B&B attached next door. Our waiter (super cool guy) took Brian over to see the rooms and he said they were nice! Then they put on the big soccer match between Chelsea and Barcelona in the other room on their gigantic tv and by the time we left, it was packed with an interesting blend of regular guys and women who had just come from step class. But it wasn't like a pick-up place- they were all only there to watch soccer, drink pivo and eat. Like I said, eclectic, lol!
We returned back to the hotel with the plan that we would accompany the foster dad and A to an appointment in the regional town to have him evaluated for ADD. Good fortune smiling again because believe it or not, they had asked for the appointment a year before and it just happened to fall during the time we were there. That's God's hand right there. And also folks, unfortunately that's socialized medicine right there. Still, we looked forward to Thursday and taking a little trip.
Next up- Thursday, what we found out, and the advantage of Brian being there, lol.
We sat down in the family room (while Magda and the foster mom chatted downstairs in the kitchen- its kinda a split level house) and got out UNO to play. UNO is a fabulous game because its easy to learn, you use colors and numbers, and eventually you can use it for math skills in adding up rounds etc. We love it and it definitely helped Case learn his addition and subtraction early. So it seemed the perfect game to try.
Case and he were in A's bedroom, which has a door off the family room. Case came out and we asked A to come out and join us too, but at first he was being a little willful and wanted to keep playing computers. We stayed where we were and just decided to play and see if he would eventually join us. True to all little kids that age, he realized we were probably having more fun and his curiosity got the best of him, so he came out to play too. I knew it, lol! We starting playing and ended up playing 3 whole games. It was even better than we could have hoped. Not only was it fun and a first "family" activity, but more importantly there were 3 things we observed: 1) he was able to focus and sit still enough to play the game, 3 times in fact; 2) he is very smart and picked up the rules, even with the language difference- we got to practice and use Polish words for colors and numbers and he practice English; and 3) he interacted with us great and had fun! From that alone, we definitely saw no big evidence of extreme ADD/ADHD, which was encouraging as well.
We visited until lunch again and then left for a break in the afternoon. Magda said she had an errand to run in the bigger town so we were on our own until about 3:30pm. And then true to how funny she is, she finally just admitted she really had to go to the mall there to go shopping! Apparently, Magda loves the malls, lol. We laughed and I said I was just so totally excited there was a mall! lol She obviously felt very comfortable with us because she then started telling me about what she was thinking of buying and that she would show me when he got back, etc. We were totally gabbing like girls, lol!
We had lunch again at the same pizza place and they totally remembered us. We started realizing that not only did we probably stick out because Brian is 6'4" and we spoke English etc, but more than likely all these people knew each other in this small town and we definitely were new. LOL! It was delicious again and then we set out with camera in hand to explore the town square and surrounding streets. The sun had come out and the skies were clear and the town looked lovely! Here are a few pics:
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| Beautiful town square- totally picturesque! |
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| Case and Mom- is he really that tall??! |
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| Small street off the square |
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| Church built in 1505 |
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| Monument to Polish soldiers that served in WWII (at least we think that's what it said, lol) |
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| Close up of monument |
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| Ok, Case wanted me to take a picture of this. Obviously, no "you know what" in town square. lol! |
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| Cool architecture |
We then decided to walk to the church. Outside, on its left was an intricate monument dedicated to Blessed John Paul II, who as you know was from Poland. It was in a very nicely manicured courtyard and as you can see from the candles, many people visit it to pay their respects and pray for his intercession.
We then went inside the church. It was really cool! And I mean that two-fold: it was very interesting and very cold! Definitely never upgraded the 16th century church with heating. The architectural elements were so amazing. Here are a few pics:
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| Front view |
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| We wondered if these were stained glass before the war |
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| View down the aisle |
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| Mosaics gracing the central aisle |
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| More mosaics |
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| Saints depicted in stain glass- beautiful! |
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| Side altar for prayer |
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| Original pulpit- up high, above the people |
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| Side altar for prayer |
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| Central altar (love the flat screen added on, lol) |
We did not stay long and in the time we were in there, many ladies came in to pray and reflect. It was really nice feeling the comfort of the Catholic Church and the fact this is an extremely religious, catholic country and town.
Just before we left, we saw a plaque next to the inside door- it said that during WWII, the church had been used as a headquarters/gathering place for Nazi troops. Talk about a sobering reminder of what this beautiful town and country had to endure. Later came the Red Army, who in many ways were worse. I just can't imagine.
In the afternoon, after Magda returned with some totally cute clothes and shoes etc (lol), we went back for our second visit of the day. This time again, the other kids were home from school. It was fun and we played with them as well (UNO again) and we shared iPads and played Sonic and Angry Birds. It was very sweet. However, we realized two things: that we weren't getting as much time with just A and that the kids were really trying to get our attention and we didn't want to confuse them that we were there for them (the older kids especially). So after we left, we talked with Magda about maybe only coming the following morning or until the kids came home. The other kids were great, no question, we just wanted to spend time with A before we left. She totally agreed.
We left around 6:00pm after another great visit. We really felt totally comfortable with everything by this time and as Brian said, he just wished we could take him with us now. A had definitely taken to Brian the most and wanted him to hold him alot. Brian is like a big teddy bear, so I think his size was comforting to A. he liked Case and I as well; but Brian was the favorite this day by far. :)
We met Magda again for dinner and we went into town to another restaurant recommended by the foster families bio son. Totally walkable but Magda insisted she drive, lol. The restaurant was in an old fabric manufacturing warehouse that had been renovated obviously. It had really great food and was totally eclectic with a blend of things going on, which made it even cooler ! Kinda pub-like with an aerobics studio above us and a B&B attached next door. Our waiter (super cool guy) took Brian over to see the rooms and he said they were nice! Then they put on the big soccer match between Chelsea and Barcelona in the other room on their gigantic tv and by the time we left, it was packed with an interesting blend of regular guys and women who had just come from step class. But it wasn't like a pick-up place- they were all only there to watch soccer, drink pivo and eat. Like I said, eclectic, lol!
We returned back to the hotel with the plan that we would accompany the foster dad and A to an appointment in the regional town to have him evaluated for ADD. Good fortune smiling again because believe it or not, they had asked for the appointment a year before and it just happened to fall during the time we were there. That's God's hand right there. And also folks, unfortunately that's socialized medicine right there. Still, we looked forward to Thursday and taking a little trip.
Next up- Thursday, what we found out, and the advantage of Brian being there, lol.
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