This last Friday we received all the documents we needed to file the I-800! Woohoo! We got everything together this weekend and today I headed to my friendly PakMail store (best shipping place ever!) to send them overnight to the lockbox facility. What a huge relief! Overall, the forms were not awful except for some minor information we needed, like the address of the adoption center in Olsztyn and whether we really needed to submit 3 year's tax returns and supportive documents and an employment letter.
As to the former, thank you Google Satellite Maps and Google Translator who helped me figure out the actual building we went to in Olsztyn. Because A is in foster care, they are actually the guardians/custodians and we needed that address for both the I-800 and I-864. So I googled about it, translated the page and address, typed it into Google Maps, and pulled up a street view to verfiy that it was indeed the building we were taken to for our interview with them before we met A the first time. Flipping amazing! Lina told us it would take her a week to find the address and I said "heck no!". It totally shouldn't take that long, not with today's technology. And ta da!
As to the other, the I-864 SPECIFICALLY says you that if you filed tax returns for the last 3 years (which we did) and can show adequate support with you last 3 years income (which we can), you only need to file the most recent tax return (that being 2011). You only need to include the previous 3 years tax returns, list assets, and/or include employment letters if you need to give further verification to your income and show that you can indeed support the "immigrant". We are blessed we can do that easily and we think Lina's instructions was just a generic form to cover everyone. Still, Brian checked with our case worker that did our I-800A extension just to be sure, and yup, that's what they want :)
So, the good news is we are all submitted and now just await the good ole USCIS in all its efficient glory. We hope to hear about dates soon :)
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Friday, May 11, 2012
Forever amazed by technology!
These last two weeks I have been so busy with catching up the blog on our trip in April, getting Case good and ready for the state assessment test, and chauffeuring him back and forth to soccer tryouts. I finally am caught up and so I wanted to get more current and write about our adventure with Skype.
Last Saturday (May 5), we held our first Skype with A! We wanted to do it the week before, one week after we last saw him, but due to some idiot independent contractors who cut the AT&T fiber optic line to our neighborhood, we had to postpone. Yea, thanks guys!
As the title of the post says, I am forever in awe of technology and how we increasingly can communicate more efficiently. I mean it was very cool being able to get on wifi in Poland and follow things back home on Facebook (and check our local newspaper online to ensure the house didn't burn down, lol). Still more amazing is Skype and its ever increasing capabilities. Here we are in South Carolina Skyping/video chatting with Poland which is over 5000 miles away! SO cool!
When we got on the call, we were worried about not being able to say much and had our iPads with Google translate all ready to go just in case. However, when we connected though, Skype itself could detect where you were calling to and when you initiated the chat (along with the video), it automatically translated into the language for the country! Even cooler! Which essentially meant that while we were video waving and talking etc, we could also type in the chat box back and forth. Huge.
During the call, A was so darn cute and talked to us for over 45 min (thank you again instant translator). He even typed some things like his name himself, which was neat. Not much mind you, but it was sweet what he did do. We re-verified that he indeed loves cars...especially Cars (the movie) and would like his room to have things like that in it. Done! He also again confirmed that his favorite color is a resounding "CZERWONY (red)!", so it sounds like he and Daddy will be cheering for Wisconsin, while Mama and Case back the Maize and Blue, lol. He LOVED seeing the dogs when we held them up to say hi and wave, lol! Lucky was the particular favorite as he yelled out "Lucky!" lol! We typed to the foster mom how he was doing about the adoption and she said is was very excited about everything and that he misses us alot (awww!).
We ended after about 45 min. because Brian was on call and had to get to the hospital (which we told them and they understood). We made plans to do a second call in two weeks (so a week from tomorrow). It is an awesome technological wonder and I can't imagine how we could manage during the process without Skype. We are also lucky the Central Authority actually encouraged the communication and video chats in our case; because that is not always the norm we have found out.
We can't wait until next Saturday to talk with A again. For this weekend though, I'll plan to enjoy Mother's Day with Case, while sending lots of love over the ocean to my second little boy :)
Last Saturday (May 5), we held our first Skype with A! We wanted to do it the week before, one week after we last saw him, but due to some idiot independent contractors who cut the AT&T fiber optic line to our neighborhood, we had to postpone. Yea, thanks guys!
As the title of the post says, I am forever in awe of technology and how we increasingly can communicate more efficiently. I mean it was very cool being able to get on wifi in Poland and follow things back home on Facebook (and check our local newspaper online to ensure the house didn't burn down, lol). Still more amazing is Skype and its ever increasing capabilities. Here we are in South Carolina Skyping/video chatting with Poland which is over 5000 miles away! SO cool!
When we got on the call, we were worried about not being able to say much and had our iPads with Google translate all ready to go just in case. However, when we connected though, Skype itself could detect where you were calling to and when you initiated the chat (along with the video), it automatically translated into the language for the country! Even cooler! Which essentially meant that while we were video waving and talking etc, we could also type in the chat box back and forth. Huge.
During the call, A was so darn cute and talked to us for over 45 min (thank you again instant translator). He even typed some things like his name himself, which was neat. Not much mind you, but it was sweet what he did do. We re-verified that he indeed loves cars...especially Cars (the movie) and would like his room to have things like that in it. Done! He also again confirmed that his favorite color is a resounding "CZERWONY (red)!", so it sounds like he and Daddy will be cheering for Wisconsin, while Mama and Case back the Maize and Blue, lol. He LOVED seeing the dogs when we held them up to say hi and wave, lol! Lucky was the particular favorite as he yelled out "Lucky!" lol! We typed to the foster mom how he was doing about the adoption and she said is was very excited about everything and that he misses us alot (awww!).
We ended after about 45 min. because Brian was on call and had to get to the hospital (which we told them and they understood). We made plans to do a second call in two weeks (so a week from tomorrow). It is an awesome technological wonder and I can't imagine how we could manage during the process without Skype. We are also lucky the Central Authority actually encouraged the communication and video chats in our case; because that is not always the norm we have found out.
We can't wait until next Saturday to talk with A again. For this weekend though, I'll plan to enjoy Mother's Day with Case, while sending lots of love over the ocean to my second little boy :)
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Not goodbye, just until we meet again
On Friday we got up feeling both a little excitement and sadness since this would be our last day seeing A. We packed up our luggage and got everything set because once we finished our morning visit, Magda's driver Gregory would pick us up at the foster home and brings back so we could check out and head back to Warsaw. We were officially today Magda-less, which of course meant translator-less; but we were confident we could survive fine, lol. The only apprehension we had was whether we could communicate well with A and the foster parents since we didn't have our go-between.
After breakfast, we decided to walk to the foster family's home- as I said, it is a small enough town and everyone else walked, so we thought why not! Their home was maybe a mile from our hotel so it was definitely doable. The weather was cooperating and it was pleasantly cool with no rain. Also, we really needed to stretch our legs and get some exercise because we had been going and going and had not been as active as we liked.
On our other excursions that week, we had noticed a nice flower shop (kwiaty!)and thought it would be nice gesture to bring the foster mom flowers since they have taken such good care of A and had been so gracious and welcoming to us in their home. Case picked out some very pretty pink roses and carnations and remembered reading that its considered good luck to bring an odd number in Poland so he insisted on that. The lady in the shop wrapped them up beautifully and we set off.
We didn't get any farther than the town square (maybe 50-100 yards from the shop) when we heard "honk honk!". We looked around and sure enough, we recognized the foster dad in his van! I told you it was a small town, lol! He was on his way to take the littlest girl to school and he stopped and asked if we wanted a ride to his house. Although we had wanted to stretch our legs a bit, we definitely accepted the offer so as not to be rude. We started to move- probably a mile an hour- and he was turned, talking to Brian in the front seat next to him when "BANG!", he rear ended the car in front of him! To be fair, the other driver did stop short and we were barely moving, but it was still a little jolt. The foster dad got out to talk to the other driver and look at their bumpers (you could tell the other guy was definitely thinking there was a bunch of damage) but there was none- not even a scratch. They shook hands and he got back in. You could tell he was a little embarrassed, but we just acted like it was no big deal and we continued on. Case, being a boy, thought the whole incident was exciting and "cool", lol. Yeah, ok, whatever. Lol.
We got to the house and as every day before, A was waiting for us at the door and was very excited. We came in and to our very pleasant surprise, the foster mom had their laptop out with Google translate already fired up and ready to go! It made talking much easier and took a load of stress off us all. While Case and A played, we asked her about how much A knew about the adoption and how much he understood. She said he had an idea but overall, not much.
We realized from talking also that this was the first time they had gone through the formal adoption process out of their home as well. Because they have cared for the other kids whose parental rights aren't severed yet for so long, they had not actually gone through all the steps. In a weird way, this is comforting too because they are just as new to it as we are and we could help each other. Also, because A had not been with them as long as the others, it probably presents the perfect situation where they didn't have to say goodbye to the others that they have had so long. We told her what Magda had told us, that now that we have agreed to go ahead with it, adoption officials with the regional center would begin working with A on an age-appropriate level so he could begin to come to grips with what it all means and understand.
We "talked" some more and then brought A out to show him the picture book we were leaving with him. We showed him the pictures and through Google translate and the foster mom explaining, we asked him if he would like to come live with us. He sat next to Brian during this and little by little, snuggled against him. He didn't say much, but nodded a few times. The one thing he wouldn't do was to say the dogs names back to us, but we didn't push it and attribute it more to being in shock than anything else. Interestingly, the word for shock in Polish is szok, so there you go. Who knew? After we finished looking at the pictures, he wanted to go play with Case, which was totally fine and actually good and normal.
He really seemed to gravitate more to Brian than me, which is ok because I think he needs a father figure (the foster dad works alot) and there is probably a little mistrust of a "mom" figure, which is totally understandable based on his background. Not that he wasn't ok with me, he just seemed to like Brian a lot this trip. I thought at first maybe this was because the foster mom was there and he felt "disloyal" or something to her, but I think now it was more that he just took to Brian. He told them he liked me a lot too, so I'm not insecure about any of that.
One interesting thing we found out was that they told us that they never have let any of the kids call them "Mama and Tato"- mom and dad in Polish. Instead, they have them call them "Auntie and Uncle". I was impressed by that because they really take their roles as foster parents seriously and know that the ultimate goal was to get the kids families, so they didn't want to confuse them. In fact, A called Brian "Uncle" the second time we visited, which Magda had said was a good sign. He called me "pani", or lady, but that was totally fine, lol. As I said, I would be more concerned if he was overly comfortable with us both before he knew us. A little trepidation is healthy :)
As the time to leave grew nearer, we went to play with A before our driver came. I could tell that the foster mom was a little sad about the prospect of A leaving some day, but that she also understood and was ok with everything. We played computers with him and the stress/shock he had seemed to have earlier waned. He laughed and continued talking up a storm in no time.
Around noon, our driver arrived and instead of goodbyes, we said see you soons. We had prearranged to have Skype video chats every 2 weeks (when Magda was with us, she and the foster family suggested it and we heartily agreed) so we knew we would literally see him soon. A gave us all big hugs and we left feeling really good about everything. As Brian said, we couldn't ask for a better situation for him and better fit for our family.
We had a great trip back to Warsaw. We stopped for lunch at this cool log cabin-themed restaurant which was excellent (at our driver's recommendation) and Case got to pet an iguana they had in a cage/terrarium. He loved that!
We made our way back into the city and Magda had given the driver instructions to take us a couple of places- 1)to a store to find dark chocolate (Case's fave!) and Levazza coffee; and 2)to the soccer stadium and store for the Warsaw soccer club Legia Warsawa. Gregory the driver was TOTALLY into this and came in to the soccer store and explained to us all about the club, insignias, history, and even sang their song to us! It was great! I posted the pic of the soccer stadium they have built for Euro 2012, but what I didn't say was Legia Warsawa's stadium sits over 30,000 and is right across the Vistula from it too. They love their futbol there! They were in first place in their division as our our trip and there was a game the next day so the place was hopping! Case had a blast at the store and we all got shirts and he got a scarf too. We even brought back a shirt for his principal (he is Irish and a huge soccer fan too!).
Then we got back in the car and fought the rush hour traffic on our way to the Courtyard Marriott at the airport. There is building going on everywhere in Warsaw and the town is booming! New train tracks being laid, new office/business complexes under construction, new apartment buildings, you name it! We settled up with Gregory, said "Do widezenia", and then chilled out. Our flight back was an early 6:05am so we wanted to take it easy and digest all that had happened.
On Saturday we got up and headed to the airport (which was really pretty efficient) and we boarded a very full flight to Amsterdam with connection to Atlanta and then on to Charlotte. I won't bore you with flight details though. All were good flights, but the one to Atlanta was almost 10 hours- no way we are doing that again. We'll probably look to break it up more by flying through Detroit, which we love and know well.
We arriving safe and sound back in Charlotte at about 4pm our time (which was 10pm Poland time) and headed back home. We stopped to eat and finally got inside our house about 8:30pm EST. We were all ready to drop and immediately went to bed- no unpacking or anything.
It was a great trip overall and definitely life-changing for us all. We cannot wait to get back to not only A, but also to a country we fell in love with. We plan to visit the town Brian's great grandparents lived in and castles and various sites, but mostly we just want to go back. :)
Oh and maybe a little soccer if we get lucky and are there during Euro 2012. That. Would. ROCK!
After breakfast, we decided to walk to the foster family's home- as I said, it is a small enough town and everyone else walked, so we thought why not! Their home was maybe a mile from our hotel so it was definitely doable. The weather was cooperating and it was pleasantly cool with no rain. Also, we really needed to stretch our legs and get some exercise because we had been going and going and had not been as active as we liked.
On our other excursions that week, we had noticed a nice flower shop (kwiaty!)and thought it would be nice gesture to bring the foster mom flowers since they have taken such good care of A and had been so gracious and welcoming to us in their home. Case picked out some very pretty pink roses and carnations and remembered reading that its considered good luck to bring an odd number in Poland so he insisted on that. The lady in the shop wrapped them up beautifully and we set off.
We didn't get any farther than the town square (maybe 50-100 yards from the shop) when we heard "honk honk!". We looked around and sure enough, we recognized the foster dad in his van! I told you it was a small town, lol! He was on his way to take the littlest girl to school and he stopped and asked if we wanted a ride to his house. Although we had wanted to stretch our legs a bit, we definitely accepted the offer so as not to be rude. We started to move- probably a mile an hour- and he was turned, talking to Brian in the front seat next to him when "BANG!", he rear ended the car in front of him! To be fair, the other driver did stop short and we were barely moving, but it was still a little jolt. The foster dad got out to talk to the other driver and look at their bumpers (you could tell the other guy was definitely thinking there was a bunch of damage) but there was none- not even a scratch. They shook hands and he got back in. You could tell he was a little embarrassed, but we just acted like it was no big deal and we continued on. Case, being a boy, thought the whole incident was exciting and "cool", lol. Yeah, ok, whatever. Lol.
We got to the house and as every day before, A was waiting for us at the door and was very excited. We came in and to our very pleasant surprise, the foster mom had their laptop out with Google translate already fired up and ready to go! It made talking much easier and took a load of stress off us all. While Case and A played, we asked her about how much A knew about the adoption and how much he understood. She said he had an idea but overall, not much.
We realized from talking also that this was the first time they had gone through the formal adoption process out of their home as well. Because they have cared for the other kids whose parental rights aren't severed yet for so long, they had not actually gone through all the steps. In a weird way, this is comforting too because they are just as new to it as we are and we could help each other. Also, because A had not been with them as long as the others, it probably presents the perfect situation where they didn't have to say goodbye to the others that they have had so long. We told her what Magda had told us, that now that we have agreed to go ahead with it, adoption officials with the regional center would begin working with A on an age-appropriate level so he could begin to come to grips with what it all means and understand.
We "talked" some more and then brought A out to show him the picture book we were leaving with him. We showed him the pictures and through Google translate and the foster mom explaining, we asked him if he would like to come live with us. He sat next to Brian during this and little by little, snuggled against him. He didn't say much, but nodded a few times. The one thing he wouldn't do was to say the dogs names back to us, but we didn't push it and attribute it more to being in shock than anything else. Interestingly, the word for shock in Polish is szok, so there you go. Who knew? After we finished looking at the pictures, he wanted to go play with Case, which was totally fine and actually good and normal.
He really seemed to gravitate more to Brian than me, which is ok because I think he needs a father figure (the foster dad works alot) and there is probably a little mistrust of a "mom" figure, which is totally understandable based on his background. Not that he wasn't ok with me, he just seemed to like Brian a lot this trip. I thought at first maybe this was because the foster mom was there and he felt "disloyal" or something to her, but I think now it was more that he just took to Brian. He told them he liked me a lot too, so I'm not insecure about any of that.
One interesting thing we found out was that they told us that they never have let any of the kids call them "Mama and Tato"- mom and dad in Polish. Instead, they have them call them "Auntie and Uncle". I was impressed by that because they really take their roles as foster parents seriously and know that the ultimate goal was to get the kids families, so they didn't want to confuse them. In fact, A called Brian "Uncle" the second time we visited, which Magda had said was a good sign. He called me "pani", or lady, but that was totally fine, lol. As I said, I would be more concerned if he was overly comfortable with us both before he knew us. A little trepidation is healthy :)
As the time to leave grew nearer, we went to play with A before our driver came. I could tell that the foster mom was a little sad about the prospect of A leaving some day, but that she also understood and was ok with everything. We played computers with him and the stress/shock he had seemed to have earlier waned. He laughed and continued talking up a storm in no time.
Around noon, our driver arrived and instead of goodbyes, we said see you soons. We had prearranged to have Skype video chats every 2 weeks (when Magda was with us, she and the foster family suggested it and we heartily agreed) so we knew we would literally see him soon. A gave us all big hugs and we left feeling really good about everything. As Brian said, we couldn't ask for a better situation for him and better fit for our family.
We had a great trip back to Warsaw. We stopped for lunch at this cool log cabin-themed restaurant which was excellent (at our driver's recommendation) and Case got to pet an iguana they had in a cage/terrarium. He loved that!
 |
| This crazy thing closed its eyes and lifted its head and fell asleep when Case was petting it! So docile! And yes, we washed hands afterwards, lol. |
We made our way back into the city and Magda had given the driver instructions to take us a couple of places- 1)to a store to find dark chocolate (Case's fave!) and Levazza coffee; and 2)to the soccer stadium and store for the Warsaw soccer club Legia Warsawa. Gregory the driver was TOTALLY into this and came in to the soccer store and explained to us all about the club, insignias, history, and even sang their song to us! It was great! I posted the pic of the soccer stadium they have built for Euro 2012, but what I didn't say was Legia Warsawa's stadium sits over 30,000 and is right across the Vistula from it too. They love their futbol there! They were in first place in their division as our our trip and there was a game the next day so the place was hopping! Case had a blast at the store and we all got shirts and he got a scarf too. We even brought back a shirt for his principal (he is Irish and a huge soccer fan too!).
Then we got back in the car and fought the rush hour traffic on our way to the Courtyard Marriott at the airport. There is building going on everywhere in Warsaw and the town is booming! New train tracks being laid, new office/business complexes under construction, new apartment buildings, you name it! We settled up with Gregory, said "Do widezenia", and then chilled out. Our flight back was an early 6:05am so we wanted to take it easy and digest all that had happened.
On Saturday we got up and headed to the airport (which was really pretty efficient) and we boarded a very full flight to Amsterdam with connection to Atlanta and then on to Charlotte. I won't bore you with flight details though. All were good flights, but the one to Atlanta was almost 10 hours- no way we are doing that again. We'll probably look to break it up more by flying through Detroit, which we love and know well.
We arriving safe and sound back in Charlotte at about 4pm our time (which was 10pm Poland time) and headed back home. We stopped to eat and finally got inside our house about 8:30pm EST. We were all ready to drop and immediately went to bed- no unpacking or anything.
It was a great trip overall and definitely life-changing for us all. We cannot wait to get back to not only A, but also to a country we fell in love with. We plan to visit the town Brian's great grandparents lived in and castles and various sites, but mostly we just want to go back. :)
Oh and maybe a little soccer if we get lucky and are there during Euro 2012. That. Would. ROCK!
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Holy Shrine Batman!
On Thursday, we enjoyed breakfast again with Magda and then met A's foster dad outside for a totally different adventure, if you will. As luck would have it, the foster family had decided a while ago to have A evaluated to see if he had ADD/ADHD and the appointment just happened to coincide with our visit that week (can you say 'God at work' ??). We were very excited to accompany him and get current,relevant information about his health and well-being.
Although A is very healthy physically, we definitely know its good to understand his mental/emotional health as well. This is especially true considering his background- which I won't go into. The main concerns that prompted the appointment were mostly generated by teacher evaluations the family received over the last year. Nothing earth-shattering, but definitely a reason to have him evaluated by a doctor.
In the States, he would have been seen much sooner; but in Poland (as in most of Europe with more socialized medicine), the wait for an appointment can be very long. And this is what many people in our country just do not understand and ultimately, will not be happy with. Physicians see it but the vast majority that call for us to adopt a "European" health care model do not. There is no question we need some sort if change here, but it has to be unique to the US and our lifestyles and expectations and consistent with what we deem appropriate, timely care. Not an easy task and definitely one the medical professionals, rather than the politicians and insurance lobbies should be developing, but alas... So, I will leave that subject behind and continue with our adventure.
We met the foster dad and A outside in their van and climbed on in. I sat in the way back behind A and Case sat beside him, at A's request. Brian sat up front with the dad because there was more legroom, with Magda behind him, next to Case. Immediate observations we made were again all good. For example, A had on appropriate clothing for the day (it was chilly), he was in a car seat appropriate for his age/weight that was in good condition. A greeted us with smiles all around and we set off. During the ride to the hospital in the regional city, the one thing that stood out was the fact A sat still and enjoyed the ride. He didn't fidget or kick his feet or talk endlessly or engage in other behaviors you usually see with a child that has true ADD/ADHD. He was very, very good. We chit-chatted via Magda on the ride which lasted about 40 min.
Our appointment was for 10:00am and we arrived right on schedule. The funniest thing was the way they park there. No painted spots on the street like in the US; they just drive up and park on the sidewalks, which are wide to accommodate this. And omg, the way they fit their cars into the tightest spots is impressive! We walked to the area of the hospital that was mainly doctor's offices and sat down to wait. The boys played quietly,on the iPad taking turns and being very good- again, not something an ADD/ADHD child can do easily.
While we waited the foster dad talked to us through Magda and told us more about why they sought the appointment and showed us the teacher evaluations for A. Tis is kinda bad to say, but when we heard and read the "reasons", we almost laughed. First of all, apparently in Polish schools, they expect kids to sit for at least 45 min for their lessons. They said A could not do that and seemed bored, got up, moved around, or interrupted the teachers. Now, I don't know about anyone else, but from all my experience with the kids in Case's school over the years and his friends, I don't know over many- or any- kindergarteners or first graders who can sit still for that long. I also know that often that signifies a child that is bored and needs to be challenged or taught differently. I mean, by these standards just about every kid in Case's grade level at this age and now would be classified as ADD/ADHD and be on some sort of treatment plan! Including Case, who at age 7 couldn't sit still that long either and he definitely doesn't have ADD. We relayed these thoughts and both Magda and the foster dad agreed completely. So that was encouraging for us and for the foster dad I think, because he thought we would really balk at this diagnosis.
We waited about 1/2hour until we saw the doctors assigned that day begin the arrive. According to Magda, they can show up when they want rather than when they have appointments and all you as a patient cando is wait. Oy. Most come generally on time, but you never know. As others went in for their appointments, we saw that the rooms were fairly small with just a desk and chairs so we made the decision that Brian, Magda, and the foster dad would go in with A and Case and I would wait in the hall. Magda told us not to expect a long appointment because the doctors generally liked to hustle people in and out quickly- both she and the foster dad did not have the greatest things to say about the health care system there and repeatedly said how lucky we are in the US. Gives pause to the things we complain about here for sure.
The hallway holding hospital offices was brightly lit, but plain white and not very well decorated with haphazard pictures chosen that hung every so often. It was clean, but old. The wait areas were wooden benches along the walls of the hallway, and clearly not intended for people to want to hang out there long. Very different than here where we deem comfort an important factor in waiting rooms. Case and I hung out and played games together while we waited. They were in there for about a 1/2 hour and this did concern me a bit. Brian relayed to me later what went on inside.
Apparently after they went in, Magda told the female doctor that Brian was a US physician and why he was there etc. Magda laughed when telling me later, but she said the doctor seemed very nervous with Brian there and almost scared. lol! Granted, he is a big guy, but he never comes off imposing at all. But hey, we'll take it if it helps! Nevertheless, this was to our advantage because she went over the reports thoroughly and talked them through it all. She said that based solely in the school reports, the state would probably classify him as having ADD and would recommend therapy to help him focus before medications. This was good because it indicated even they didn't see this as a serious problem. Most importantly though, A sat on Brian's lap through the entire appointment without fussing or fidgeting, another good sign.
We left pretty happy with what we heard and journeyed back to town. We realized that it was already noon and Case and A both needed to eat. We had plans to go back to the house with A after the appointment, but since we had been with him all morning, we decided to get dropped off at the hotel. At that time, we also decided to not have an afternoon visit. Not only did we feel we needed a little break to really assess things (although we were good overall), but we thought A did too. We also did not really want to be there again when the other kids were there because they tended to usurp our time away from A. Magda agreed and relayed the plans to the foster dad. By the time we got back to hotel it was around 1:00 pm and we said out goodbyes. Magda checked out of the hotel and left to run some errands while we got lunch. She then told us she would be coming back because she wanted to take us somewhere cool in the afternoon and she really wanted Case to see it. So we agreed to meet around 3:30 for our second adventure of the day.
The place she took us is called Swięta Lipka, a shrine to St. Mary. It was left undisturbed during and after WWII and is literally in the middle of nowhere. On our ride there, we drive through peaceful forests and passed a beautiful lake and small palace/mansion. As we got closer, we began to see big roadside Stations of the Cross, each probably 200 yards from each other that lead to the shrine itself. I could totally see people making a pilgrimage along this route and wondered at the length and cause for reflection it must bring. What was really cool about Magda making a point to take us there was that a few days earlier, I had shared with her that Mary was very important to me and that I had looked to Mary as a mother, after my own mother passed away. So although it was a really great educational experience for Case, it was also a very spiritual experience for me.
When we arrived, we were blown away! Wow...all we could say was, wow. It was absolutely breathtaking to see! Although it is a popular tourist destination, there was no one else in the parking lot and the gates were open. We had the whole place to ourselves- so cool. my descriptions truly cannot do it justice so here are some pictures:
We got back to the hotel around 5:00 and said our goodbyes to Magda (and paid her the next installment for the adoption- man was that burning a hole in my purse!). We then decided to go back on our own to the little eclectic restaurant we had tried before. It was raining but we braved the elements and walked there, which felt great. We had an awesome meal and I was very proud of all of us that we were able to order and even customize what we wanted in Polish! We had come a long way, baby!
We headed back to get some rest, pack a bit, and get ourselves together since the next morning would be our final visit with A.....and when we let him know we were adopting him.
Although A is very healthy physically, we definitely know its good to understand his mental/emotional health as well. This is especially true considering his background- which I won't go into. The main concerns that prompted the appointment were mostly generated by teacher evaluations the family received over the last year. Nothing earth-shattering, but definitely a reason to have him evaluated by a doctor.
In the States, he would have been seen much sooner; but in Poland (as in most of Europe with more socialized medicine), the wait for an appointment can be very long. And this is what many people in our country just do not understand and ultimately, will not be happy with. Physicians see it but the vast majority that call for us to adopt a "European" health care model do not. There is no question we need some sort if change here, but it has to be unique to the US and our lifestyles and expectations and consistent with what we deem appropriate, timely care. Not an easy task and definitely one the medical professionals, rather than the politicians and insurance lobbies should be developing, but alas... So, I will leave that subject behind and continue with our adventure.
We met the foster dad and A outside in their van and climbed on in. I sat in the way back behind A and Case sat beside him, at A's request. Brian sat up front with the dad because there was more legroom, with Magda behind him, next to Case. Immediate observations we made were again all good. For example, A had on appropriate clothing for the day (it was chilly), he was in a car seat appropriate for his age/weight that was in good condition. A greeted us with smiles all around and we set off. During the ride to the hospital in the regional city, the one thing that stood out was the fact A sat still and enjoyed the ride. He didn't fidget or kick his feet or talk endlessly or engage in other behaviors you usually see with a child that has true ADD/ADHD. He was very, very good. We chit-chatted via Magda on the ride which lasted about 40 min.
Our appointment was for 10:00am and we arrived right on schedule. The funniest thing was the way they park there. No painted spots on the street like in the US; they just drive up and park on the sidewalks, which are wide to accommodate this. And omg, the way they fit their cars into the tightest spots is impressive! We walked to the area of the hospital that was mainly doctor's offices and sat down to wait. The boys played quietly,on the iPad taking turns and being very good- again, not something an ADD/ADHD child can do easily.
While we waited the foster dad talked to us through Magda and told us more about why they sought the appointment and showed us the teacher evaluations for A. Tis is kinda bad to say, but when we heard and read the "reasons", we almost laughed. First of all, apparently in Polish schools, they expect kids to sit for at least 45 min for their lessons. They said A could not do that and seemed bored, got up, moved around, or interrupted the teachers. Now, I don't know about anyone else, but from all my experience with the kids in Case's school over the years and his friends, I don't know over many- or any- kindergarteners or first graders who can sit still for that long. I also know that often that signifies a child that is bored and needs to be challenged or taught differently. I mean, by these standards just about every kid in Case's grade level at this age and now would be classified as ADD/ADHD and be on some sort of treatment plan! Including Case, who at age 7 couldn't sit still that long either and he definitely doesn't have ADD. We relayed these thoughts and both Magda and the foster dad agreed completely. So that was encouraging for us and for the foster dad I think, because he thought we would really balk at this diagnosis.
We waited about 1/2hour until we saw the doctors assigned that day begin the arrive. According to Magda, they can show up when they want rather than when they have appointments and all you as a patient cando is wait. Oy. Most come generally on time, but you never know. As others went in for their appointments, we saw that the rooms were fairly small with just a desk and chairs so we made the decision that Brian, Magda, and the foster dad would go in with A and Case and I would wait in the hall. Magda told us not to expect a long appointment because the doctors generally liked to hustle people in and out quickly- both she and the foster dad did not have the greatest things to say about the health care system there and repeatedly said how lucky we are in the US. Gives pause to the things we complain about here for sure.
The hallway holding hospital offices was brightly lit, but plain white and not very well decorated with haphazard pictures chosen that hung every so often. It was clean, but old. The wait areas were wooden benches along the walls of the hallway, and clearly not intended for people to want to hang out there long. Very different than here where we deem comfort an important factor in waiting rooms. Case and I hung out and played games together while we waited. They were in there for about a 1/2 hour and this did concern me a bit. Brian relayed to me later what went on inside.
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| Ok, these are all a little...off because I wasn't sure I should be photographing them. Guess I got paranoid from the communist era architecture! lol |
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| The doors on left are all the small doctor's offices for these visits |
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| Comfy seats...not! |
Apparently after they went in, Magda told the female doctor that Brian was a US physician and why he was there etc. Magda laughed when telling me later, but she said the doctor seemed very nervous with Brian there and almost scared. lol! Granted, he is a big guy, but he never comes off imposing at all. But hey, we'll take it if it helps! Nevertheless, this was to our advantage because she went over the reports thoroughly and talked them through it all. She said that based solely in the school reports, the state would probably classify him as having ADD and would recommend therapy to help him focus before medications. This was good because it indicated even they didn't see this as a serious problem. Most importantly though, A sat on Brian's lap through the entire appointment without fussing or fidgeting, another good sign.
We left pretty happy with what we heard and journeyed back to town. We realized that it was already noon and Case and A both needed to eat. We had plans to go back to the house with A after the appointment, but since we had been with him all morning, we decided to get dropped off at the hotel. At that time, we also decided to not have an afternoon visit. Not only did we feel we needed a little break to really assess things (although we were good overall), but we thought A did too. We also did not really want to be there again when the other kids were there because they tended to usurp our time away from A. Magda agreed and relayed the plans to the foster dad. By the time we got back to hotel it was around 1:00 pm and we said out goodbyes. Magda checked out of the hotel and left to run some errands while we got lunch. She then told us she would be coming back because she wanted to take us somewhere cool in the afternoon and she really wanted Case to see it. So we agreed to meet around 3:30 for our second adventure of the day.
The place she took us is called Swięta Lipka, a shrine to St. Mary. It was left undisturbed during and after WWII and is literally in the middle of nowhere. On our ride there, we drive through peaceful forests and passed a beautiful lake and small palace/mansion. As we got closer, we began to see big roadside Stations of the Cross, each probably 200 yards from each other that lead to the shrine itself. I could totally see people making a pilgrimage along this route and wondered at the length and cause for reflection it must bring. What was really cool about Magda making a point to take us there was that a few days earlier, I had shared with her that Mary was very important to me and that I had looked to Mary as a mother, after my own mother passed away. So although it was a really great educational experience for Case, it was also a very spiritual experience for me.
When we arrived, we were blown away! Wow...all we could say was, wow. It was absolutely breathtaking to see! Although it is a popular tourist destination, there was no one else in the parking lot and the gates were open. We had the whole place to ourselves- so cool. my descriptions truly cannot do it justice so here are some pictures:
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| This little (big) guy was sitting on a car waiting for us when we arrived! |
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| Swieta Lipka- front |
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| Front gates |
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| The artistry and intricacy was amazing! |
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| These statues lined the side walls on either side of the gates- they are figures that represent Jesus' bloodline/family from Abraham to Joseph. Powerful! |
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| Frescoes just inside the gates |
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| Main entrance to church. A church has stood her for centuries on this very site, where miracles were attributed. It started with an image of Mary carved in a lime tree. |
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| Oh my....The main altar |
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| The depiction of the infamous lime tree |
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| Bad picture, but I was trying to capture the image cast in silver and gold behind the altar without a flash. |
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| Frescoes overhead |
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| The organ- no words... |
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| Pure beauty |
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| Exterior shot of statues and porticoes where frescoes are from steps of Shrine |
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| History of the Shrine- English on left |
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| Bronze statue honoring Blessed JP II to left of Shrine |
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| Add caption |
We got back to the hotel around 5:00 and said our goodbyes to Magda (and paid her the next installment for the adoption- man was that burning a hole in my purse!). We then decided to go back on our own to the little eclectic restaurant we had tried before. It was raining but we braved the elements and walked there, which felt great. We had an awesome meal and I was very proud of all of us that we were able to order and even customize what we wanted in Polish! We had come a long way, baby!
We headed back to get some rest, pack a bit, and get ourselves together since the next morning would be our final visit with A.....and when we let him know we were adopting him.
Saturday, May 5, 2012
Beautiful towns and amazing sights- Wednesday
On Wednesday, after another hilarious breakfast with Magda at the hotel, we again visited A in the morning. He was not only ready and waiting at the door to play with us, he barely let Case get his coat off before dragging him upstairs to play. When he saw us, he yelled "Hello!". It was super cute! Magda was with us again the whole time and while the boys we playing, we got to talk more specifics about A. Overall, he is very healthy. There were concerns that he was possibly ADD/ADHD and we talked about what that meant and what we thought. Both Brian and I being in the medical profession gave our two cents from what we had seen so far. In my nursing, I have done clinicals with in-patient child psych where I saw true ADHD (not pretty, let tell you) and being a school volunteer for years and current PTO president, I have a good grasp of what it means for sure. We told them that from what we had seen so far, he appeared to be a normal, active 7 yr old, with little if any diagnosable ADD. The big thing to remember is that this is not why he qualified for adoption, so we weren't afraid to share this with the foster mom and Magda. Still, we decided to test him out to see.
We sat down in the family room (while Magda and the foster mom chatted downstairs in the kitchen- its kinda a split level house) and got out UNO to play. UNO is a fabulous game because its easy to learn, you use colors and numbers, and eventually you can use it for math skills in adding up rounds etc. We love it and it definitely helped Case learn his addition and subtraction early. So it seemed the perfect game to try.
Case and he were in A's bedroom, which has a door off the family room. Case came out and we asked A to come out and join us too, but at first he was being a little willful and wanted to keep playing computers. We stayed where we were and just decided to play and see if he would eventually join us. True to all little kids that age, he realized we were probably having more fun and his curiosity got the best of him, so he came out to play too. I knew it, lol! We starting playing and ended up playing 3 whole games. It was even better than we could have hoped. Not only was it fun and a first "family" activity, but more importantly there were 3 things we observed: 1) he was able to focus and sit still enough to play the game, 3 times in fact; 2) he is very smart and picked up the rules, even with the language difference- we got to practice and use Polish words for colors and numbers and he practice English; and 3) he interacted with us great and had fun! From that alone, we definitely saw no big evidence of extreme ADD/ADHD, which was encouraging as well.
We visited until lunch again and then left for a break in the afternoon. Magda said she had an errand to run in the bigger town so we were on our own until about 3:30pm. And then true to how funny she is, she finally just admitted she really had to go to the mall there to go shopping! Apparently, Magda loves the malls, lol. We laughed and I said I was just so totally excited there was a mall! lol She obviously felt very comfortable with us because she then started telling me about what she was thinking of buying and that she would show me when he got back, etc. We were totally gabbing like girls, lol!
We had lunch again at the same pizza place and they totally remembered us. We started realizing that not only did we probably stick out because Brian is 6'4" and we spoke English etc, but more than likely all these people knew each other in this small town and we definitely were new. LOL! It was delicious again and then we set out with camera in hand to explore the town square and surrounding streets. The sun had come out and the skies were clear and the town looked lovely! Here are a few pics:
We then decided to walk to the church. Outside, on its left was an intricate monument dedicated to Blessed John Paul II, who as you know was from Poland. It was in a very nicely manicured courtyard and as you can see from the candles, many people visit it to pay their respects and pray for his intercession.
We then went inside the church. It was really cool! And I mean that two-fold: it was very interesting and very cold! Definitely never upgraded the 16th century church with heating. The architectural elements were so amazing. Here are a few pics:
We did not stay long and in the time we were in there, many ladies came in to pray and reflect. It was really nice feeling the comfort of the Catholic Church and the fact this is an extremely religious, catholic country and town.
Just before we left, we saw a plaque next to the inside door- it said that during WWII, the church had been used as a headquarters/gathering place for Nazi troops. Talk about a sobering reminder of what this beautiful town and country had to endure. Later came the Red Army, who in many ways were worse. I just can't imagine.
In the afternoon, after Magda returned with some totally cute clothes and shoes etc (lol), we went back for our second visit of the day. This time again, the other kids were home from school. It was fun and we played with them as well (UNO again) and we shared iPads and played Sonic and Angry Birds. It was very sweet. However, we realized two things: that we weren't getting as much time with just A and that the kids were really trying to get our attention and we didn't want to confuse them that we were there for them (the older kids especially). So after we left, we talked with Magda about maybe only coming the following morning or until the kids came home. The other kids were great, no question, we just wanted to spend time with A before we left. She totally agreed.
We left around 6:00pm after another great visit. We really felt totally comfortable with everything by this time and as Brian said, he just wished we could take him with us now. A had definitely taken to Brian the most and wanted him to hold him alot. Brian is like a big teddy bear, so I think his size was comforting to A. he liked Case and I as well; but Brian was the favorite this day by far. :)
We met Magda again for dinner and we went into town to another restaurant recommended by the foster families bio son. Totally walkable but Magda insisted she drive, lol. The restaurant was in an old fabric manufacturing warehouse that had been renovated obviously. It had really great food and was totally eclectic with a blend of things going on, which made it even cooler ! Kinda pub-like with an aerobics studio above us and a B&B attached next door. Our waiter (super cool guy) took Brian over to see the rooms and he said they were nice! Then they put on the big soccer match between Chelsea and Barcelona in the other room on their gigantic tv and by the time we left, it was packed with an interesting blend of regular guys and women who had just come from step class. But it wasn't like a pick-up place- they were all only there to watch soccer, drink pivo and eat. Like I said, eclectic, lol!
We returned back to the hotel with the plan that we would accompany the foster dad and A to an appointment in the regional town to have him evaluated for ADD. Good fortune smiling again because believe it or not, they had asked for the appointment a year before and it just happened to fall during the time we were there. That's God's hand right there. And also folks, unfortunately that's socialized medicine right there. Still, we looked forward to Thursday and taking a little trip.
Next up- Thursday, what we found out, and the advantage of Brian being there, lol.
We sat down in the family room (while Magda and the foster mom chatted downstairs in the kitchen- its kinda a split level house) and got out UNO to play. UNO is a fabulous game because its easy to learn, you use colors and numbers, and eventually you can use it for math skills in adding up rounds etc. We love it and it definitely helped Case learn his addition and subtraction early. So it seemed the perfect game to try.
Case and he were in A's bedroom, which has a door off the family room. Case came out and we asked A to come out and join us too, but at first he was being a little willful and wanted to keep playing computers. We stayed where we were and just decided to play and see if he would eventually join us. True to all little kids that age, he realized we were probably having more fun and his curiosity got the best of him, so he came out to play too. I knew it, lol! We starting playing and ended up playing 3 whole games. It was even better than we could have hoped. Not only was it fun and a first "family" activity, but more importantly there were 3 things we observed: 1) he was able to focus and sit still enough to play the game, 3 times in fact; 2) he is very smart and picked up the rules, even with the language difference- we got to practice and use Polish words for colors and numbers and he practice English; and 3) he interacted with us great and had fun! From that alone, we definitely saw no big evidence of extreme ADD/ADHD, which was encouraging as well.
We visited until lunch again and then left for a break in the afternoon. Magda said she had an errand to run in the bigger town so we were on our own until about 3:30pm. And then true to how funny she is, she finally just admitted she really had to go to the mall there to go shopping! Apparently, Magda loves the malls, lol. We laughed and I said I was just so totally excited there was a mall! lol She obviously felt very comfortable with us because she then started telling me about what she was thinking of buying and that she would show me when he got back, etc. We were totally gabbing like girls, lol!
We had lunch again at the same pizza place and they totally remembered us. We started realizing that not only did we probably stick out because Brian is 6'4" and we spoke English etc, but more than likely all these people knew each other in this small town and we definitely were new. LOL! It was delicious again and then we set out with camera in hand to explore the town square and surrounding streets. The sun had come out and the skies were clear and the town looked lovely! Here are a few pics:
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| Beautiful town square- totally picturesque! |
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| Case and Mom- is he really that tall??! |
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| Small street off the square |
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| Church built in 1505 |
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| Monument to Polish soldiers that served in WWII (at least we think that's what it said, lol) |
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| Close up of monument |
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| Ok, Case wanted me to take a picture of this. Obviously, no "you know what" in town square. lol! |
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| Cool architecture |
We then decided to walk to the church. Outside, on its left was an intricate monument dedicated to Blessed John Paul II, who as you know was from Poland. It was in a very nicely manicured courtyard and as you can see from the candles, many people visit it to pay their respects and pray for his intercession.
We then went inside the church. It was really cool! And I mean that two-fold: it was very interesting and very cold! Definitely never upgraded the 16th century church with heating. The architectural elements were so amazing. Here are a few pics:
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| Front view |
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| We wondered if these were stained glass before the war |
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| View down the aisle |
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| Mosaics gracing the central aisle |
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| More mosaics |
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| Saints depicted in stain glass- beautiful! |
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| Side altar for prayer |
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| Original pulpit- up high, above the people |
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| Side altar for prayer |
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| Central altar (love the flat screen added on, lol) |
We did not stay long and in the time we were in there, many ladies came in to pray and reflect. It was really nice feeling the comfort of the Catholic Church and the fact this is an extremely religious, catholic country and town.
Just before we left, we saw a plaque next to the inside door- it said that during WWII, the church had been used as a headquarters/gathering place for Nazi troops. Talk about a sobering reminder of what this beautiful town and country had to endure. Later came the Red Army, who in many ways were worse. I just can't imagine.
In the afternoon, after Magda returned with some totally cute clothes and shoes etc (lol), we went back for our second visit of the day. This time again, the other kids were home from school. It was fun and we played with them as well (UNO again) and we shared iPads and played Sonic and Angry Birds. It was very sweet. However, we realized two things: that we weren't getting as much time with just A and that the kids were really trying to get our attention and we didn't want to confuse them that we were there for them (the older kids especially). So after we left, we talked with Magda about maybe only coming the following morning or until the kids came home. The other kids were great, no question, we just wanted to spend time with A before we left. She totally agreed.
We left around 6:00pm after another great visit. We really felt totally comfortable with everything by this time and as Brian said, he just wished we could take him with us now. A had definitely taken to Brian the most and wanted him to hold him alot. Brian is like a big teddy bear, so I think his size was comforting to A. he liked Case and I as well; but Brian was the favorite this day by far. :)
We met Magda again for dinner and we went into town to another restaurant recommended by the foster families bio son. Totally walkable but Magda insisted she drive, lol. The restaurant was in an old fabric manufacturing warehouse that had been renovated obviously. It had really great food and was totally eclectic with a blend of things going on, which made it even cooler ! Kinda pub-like with an aerobics studio above us and a B&B attached next door. Our waiter (super cool guy) took Brian over to see the rooms and he said they were nice! Then they put on the big soccer match between Chelsea and Barcelona in the other room on their gigantic tv and by the time we left, it was packed with an interesting blend of regular guys and women who had just come from step class. But it wasn't like a pick-up place- they were all only there to watch soccer, drink pivo and eat. Like I said, eclectic, lol!
We returned back to the hotel with the plan that we would accompany the foster dad and A to an appointment in the regional town to have him evaluated for ADD. Good fortune smiling again because believe it or not, they had asked for the appointment a year before and it just happened to fall during the time we were there. That's God's hand right there. And also folks, unfortunately that's socialized medicine right there. Still, we looked forward to Thursday and taking a little trip.
Next up- Thursday, what we found out, and the advantage of Brian being there, lol.
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