New look for the blog, same old news

So recently I updated our blog with a cool picture which essentially mimics the Blue Ridge mountains- which we see out our window every day.  It was easy and didn't take much time, which I was very thankful for....unlike this whole adoption situation.

I have to admit, I am officially getting frustrated yet am still generally conflicted about the timetable for our referral (if it ever will come).  Let me explain:  Although I am glad the agency we work with has sorted out the bogus claims and situation with COA, I am increasingly annoyed that Poland and SMIA have been moving at a snail's pace lately.  Supposedly this whole thing had no implications on the Poland side so I do NOT understand why there are families awaiting their second trips to get their children that are being kept on hold.   I know the court dates are not SMIA's fault, but Poland has been so painstakingly slow that SMIA can't get these families squared away and hence, can't or won't advocate for others that are waiting to get a proper referral (ie one that fits what they requested).

And I know I shouldn't complain because this is absolutely and utterly unfair, but I have to vent:  Our dossier is squeaky clean.  I mean, freakishly clean.  My husband is of Polish heritage (we even know where his family comes from!), we are both stable, educated professionals that are already established parents of a fantastic child, we are financially able to proceed with any adoption, and we are requesting an older aged child(ren) that most people aren't interested in and who are supposedly busting at the seams over there.  So what is the hold up, I ask?  We call and talk to the agency and are told "you just have to wait".  Sorry, but that ain't cutting it lately.  I am impatient to meet our child that God has chosen.  Everyone says we have to wait for it to happen in "God's time", but these delays seem more secular that divine and I'm ready for some divine intervention to grease the wheels a bit.

At the same time, I am glad the whole travel thing didn't come down during October.  I have had to be major peacemaker and deal broker on behalf of our elementary school PTO, of which I am president this year.  I have had to calm nerves, provide encouragement, give direction (sometimes sternly), and act as intermediary for various stupid arguments between adults.  Our school's major fundraiser is upcoming in early November and honestly, I'm not sure I could be absent during that time anyway.  I've tried really hard to get everything in place and have secured so serious donations from national companies and Clemson University for our silent auction in the event we miraculously receive a good referral and travel, but I can't see that happening until after the event and definitely not until after the other families receive their second travel dates.  Plus, the longer Case is in school the better for him.  But we have reservations for Disneyworld in the spring that we thought we would be taking with 2 kids, and while it doesn't affect the room etc, there is no way we are losing that!

So here we sit- everything done right and looking great according to our agency yet no referral.  I have to continually explain to my child that we are still patiently waiting and see the look him losing faith every day that it will happen.  Plus, add in the possible anxiety, expense, and complete hassle of updating home studies and getting fingerprints redone should they expire after the new year and, well, I'm getting a bit ticked.

Wish this could be a happier post but that's where I am right now.  Not looking for sympathy necessarily- just venting.  I am praying that Kara and Tom, Heidi and David, Leigh and Greg, and Tracy and Scott all get their dates soon because they have been separated from their children WAY too long already and these families need to be reunited.  So I call upon you, Almighty Father and Lord, and ask you to deliver these families and join them together at last.  I also ask for the intercession of Holy Mary, Mother of God on behalf of all of us waiting for our children to come to us.  Please help us and keep us strong during this trying time.   Amen.

Yea, so, this has been me for the last month or so.  To be more accurate though, it should be holding a cell phone, computer, car keys, PTO president folder, football tickets, dog leashes, and 2 others things I can't even remember right now.  Needless to say, that picture alone should let you know why I have not posted for a while. 

As of July, I assumed the presidency of our PTO.  Its a very strong group and definitely has high expectations of anyone serving in the office.  While that doesn't bother me- I mean, I was my sorority's president twice in college, was a rank leader in the Michigan Marching Band, and am a professional nurse, so I get multi-tasking- I have been absolutely swamped/overwhelmed with the work the last 2 months.  Being the head honcho, main (wo)man, and most easily found target for people to complain about anything from the school to whether we should do Halloween treats bags (ludicrous), can really get under even the most-hardened skin after a while.  Add onto that starting our new BooHoo/WooHoo Breakfast for Kindergarten parents, trying to coax/persuade/bribe (not really) parents into the role of room parents, and apply for mini-grants and charitable donations from companies all over the country to support our children and school whose budget continues to be sliced up year after year and...well, you see the stress.  And the worst part?  Its only September!  I have to serve until June and am not fully convinced my VP will be able to handle the job.  Oy!

So anyway on the adoption front- as most, if not all of you know by now, St Mary's got slapped with one of the most ridiculous suspensions in September.  This is based on what appears completely bogus reasons and because the head of the COA (Council on Accreditation) is...well... apparently a tool.  As a result of one family's selfish claims, everything got put on hold.   Cue the pouty voice: "We didn't get anyone good, and that other couple did- no fair! And why didn't SMIA help us to decipher medical information more (even thought that isn't their job and we should have checked ourselves independently) and even though we had turned down 5 referrals and Poland was the one that removed the kids from consideration, its ALL THEIR FAULT"  WAHHHHH!  This complete lack of rational thinking on this couple's part and vindictive behavior caused tremors that were felt by adoptive families working with St. Mary's all over.  Just as important, it threatened Lina's livelihood and sterling reputation.  Over 10 years with no complaints and one triggers a landslide?  Ridiculous.  Smells like the head of the COA trying to make his job seem important and therefore, save it?  Maybe rabbit, maybe.....

Soooo, when all was said and done and after a lawsuit was filed in federal court by SMIA, the COA agreed to let them resume adoptions, fully accredited.   And most important of all, Poland NEVER had a problem with Lina or St Mary's.  Just some piddly, little pseudo-government agency here.  *Shocking*.  Gee, can you tell I'm still fairly annoyed about all this?  Anyway, it seems from others posting that the wheels are in motion again over there.  Once they complete their trips, we are hopeful we too will be receiving a quality referral and can start planning our trip as well.  We hoped to be there with many of those families we've gotten to know well via the blogs and (old) Facebook- don't even get me started on the changes- but that was on our timeline and not God's.  His is perfect and ours is, well, probably a total wreck (lol) so we'll go with God's. 

Case continues to do great in school and stated club soccer again this season.  I guess its been a little bit of a weird relief to not have to worry about taking him out to travel yet and letting him get as much of 4th grade under his belt as possible.  Ideally, we would love to travel 1st trip by Christmas.  We actually made plans for Disney again this year because it was so far in the future we thought no biggie.  Now, we'll have to make sure we can arrange our second trip to accommodate that and Case's state assessment testing.  Hopefully it won't be an issue and Poland will work with us should the time get close.  We're hoping its done by then and not even a concern, but we'll see how fast they get up and running after this setback to SMIA. 

Well, that's it for now campers.  I'm sure there is some other PTO-related fire I have to put out or that is smoldering and I just haven't smelt it yet.  I'll keep posting though as things come up!  Take care everyone!

-Laura

Posting from my new techno toy!

Today I decided to try out my anniversary gift Brian got me last week- a new Samsung Galaxy 10.1 tablet.  I actually wanted this instead of an iPad since, well, we already have on.  The biggest thing for me though was that I wanted something to run Flash.  Although we are definitely an Apple family with Macs, iPods, iTouches, and iPads,  Apple do not use Flash (for
reasons too long to type here).  Its not that I do alot of things that use Flash.  I just wanted the option of something that did- especially if and when we go to Poland since I fear I will need to feel connected and it would tick me of if I couldn't watch something because it couldn't run Flash.

So far, I have found the Galaxy tab very cool and even like some if its features better than the iPad (I know! Sacrilege! lol).  Its a little lighter, the keyboard has great action, and the screen color and clarity is amazing.  Basically, its as close to an iPad as you can get and most of the geek world mag reviews I checked said likewise.

So I'm having fun today checking it out but I might as well fess up, I also got this so when we travel I can watch my own movie or read my own book through the Kindle app, instead of having it monopolized by 2 boys- one almost 10 and one ALOT older, lol-  playing
 Angry Birds.  Plus, if they think I am really reading a book, I can work on my own Angry Birds levels in peace, without unsolicited advice about where, and at what angle I should fling the red, yellow, or blue birds to get the green pig.   ;)

Heat wave 2011

Like the old song says- "We're having a heat wave, a tropical heat wave...."  For so many days now I have been tolerant of these extremes but this last week, I finally broke.  I have had it!  Since the end of May, we have officially had 2 days under 90 degrees- yep, you read that right...2!  And just last week with the temperature climbing into the 100-110 range consistently, it has officially become unbearable.  The pool water is warm, the lake is warm, you can't get a breeze without going at least 10miles an hour in the boat- overall it is just oppressive.  Add in humidity, which is a constant in SC, and its definitely stunk.

Worse of all though, it has driven us inside, into the comfort of air conditioning, but still inside.  I don't even think about how much electricity our air conditioners use.  Its just so frustrating and now that we're in the dog days, I don't see much end in sight for a few weeks.   We have all been more stir crazy than ever before and until recently I realized why.  Was it the heat?  Last week, I realized the answer was no.  The real reason for the extreme boredom and antsy-ness (is that a word? lol) is something entirely different and very unexpected.  Its because this summer we didn't go to our ranch in Wyoming we have visited for the last 3 years.

We decided to not go because we thought we might be in or looking forward to Poland to meet our son.  Obviously, we're still waiting patiently.  I thought we would all be fine with foregoing the trip in lieu of the more involved adventure to come.  I thought, "Its not a big deal.  We'll be fine without going. We've only been a few years in a row".  I even thought Case might be bored if we went again.  I was wrong on all counts.   I didn't expect was how much we would all miss it and it had become a family tradition, even in such a short time.   The heat has definitely made it worse too since I know its cooler and more comfortable there.  Still, it is totally cathartic and we are have missed the beauty, simplicity, and pure relaxation it offers.

So bear with me as I share some pics and memories.  I need to for my soul's well-being.  :)

The entrance to the HF Bar Ranch!

Heaven!

Usually we head out to HF Bar Ranch, the 2nd oldest dude ranch in country, in Saddlestring, WY in mid-July.  We spend 7-10 days there at 5500ft in the Big Horn Mountains, riding horses, fly-fishing, skeet shooting (Brian, not us), going to rodeos, and just enjoying the fresh air and outdoors.

Our family in 2010 with our horses Miller, Russia, and Scotty (L->R)

Running the horses in from the pasture

China Wall- beautiful and you can ride on trails that weave through it!

This about says it all!  Coming down from Castle Rock ride

Natural sound soother, the creek that runs right between the cabins. Bliss.

Rope 'em!

Hanging with the wranglers at the corral.

On Big Mesa looking back at the ranch

Curious little antelope

Ranch pool!

Brian and Case fly-fishing

Brian and some of the other daddies skeet shooting with the professionals.

 Driving the ice wagon! Case got to help deliver ice blocks to each cabin.

The cabins are rustic, have indoor plumbing, but no TV or phones.  The technological detox we are able to experience is so needed.  The food is fabulous and we have met people from all over the world- pretty famous people too, which makes it exciting too.

The best part is, we are all guests relaxing and all treated the same, and we all treat each other the same.  The people, famous and non-famous, are there on vacation and have deep roots that run to this ranch.  Still, even though we might ride with them, sit at the table with them each night, or share a post-evening ride drink in the fishing shack, its still kinda cool when you discover who they are.

For example, one year we met Elizabeth Peale Allen, the chairwoman of the board for Guideposts magazine, and the daughter of Norman Vincent Peale ("The Power of Positive Thinking").  A lovely woman whose husband is buried on the ranch and the family  journeys there often.  She stepped on something in the river and Brian looked at her leg (she was fine), and she was so gracious.

Another year, we met Josh McLagen when Case was playing with his daughter.  So who is he, you ask?  Wait for it....  They had played for a couple of days, we had rode out with them, and Case even ate at their table a few times in the ranch house.  Nice guy and were we surprised when we found out what he did!  While we had no idea he was famous before, we started to realize when he brought "his personal copy" of a movie that he "worked on".   We thought it was a DVD or something until it had his name on it....in the movie credits and literally on the bottom in a security mark.  It was Night at the Museum 2.  He was the 1st director.   He also told us about a "little" movie he had coming out that December that we would like.  It was called Avatar.  Add to that, he worked on films like Titanic, and you get the picture.  The best part?  You would never know he was that famous- he was just another guest who had come there often.  We watched on a screen set up outside, under the stars, in chairs under blankets.  It was heaven.

So, I am posting these memories and great experiences to remind myself that while we swelter away in the heat, nirvana is just on the other side of the country.  We plan to take our new son with us next summer (fingers crossed!) and hope he'll fall in love with it like we have.  But make no mistake, next summer, we are going!

Yeeehaw!

No, not a referral yet, but still something cool

So I'm up at school yesterday doing prep work and PTO stuff (since we start back in a few weeks) and our principal tells me that a new student enrolled whose mom is from Poland!  He's going to introduce us once we get back to school, but what a great resource, eh?  Also, my husband recently had a new patient in his office that is also Polish and here teaching at the university.  Nice guy, new member our parish, and yet another resource for us in the community!  More proof that God is constantly giving us little reminders to stay faithful, be patient, and that He is looking out for our new son.  Thank you Father! 

Another month down

Well, we've hit the 4 month mark and although I know small in comparison to some, it’s still another milestone in this interesting process.  I must admit that selfishly I was hoping we would be taking our first trip by mid-August.  I know, I know- God's time can't be rushed or planned- but its not because we are just so anxious to meet our new son; its for a couple of other more practical reasons, which might be even worse, lol.  

This sad and silly but here goes.   My son starts back to school in August and I really hate the idea of taking him out for a week once he’s in to travel to Poland.  Now some people would say "just leave him home"; but here's the thing- he really, really wants to go along and meet his brother.  How do I deny him that?  lol  And honestly, I want to see them interact together too and think it'll be a fantastic experience for him.  Since we are looking at adopting a child over 5, I feel their dynamics will be very important and I want them to get a great start.   And our school is fabulous and will definitely be understanding make no mistake- its just that he starting 4^th grade and is doing sooo well that I don’t want to do anything that would disrupt it.   See?  Silly, but a worry nonetheless.

And the second reason is even worse.  This year I got saddled with...I mean, honored with being elected PTO president.  I could’ve said no, but that’s just not me.  We needed someone and I was the most qualified...ok, actually I was just next in line.  And I do love being a part of the organization and all it does for our elementary school, so how could I refuse? 

Anyway, I can’t help but look at not only the school calendar, but also the PTO calendar and see when a trip would fit in best.  These are absolutely crazy worries and not even related to a job!  Lol lol!  In fact, I’m less concerned about my husband taking off work from his practice!  How skewed is that??  I know, I need to get over it because everything will work out fine and later in life, I’m sure we’ll look back and laugh at my silliness.  Still....with fall festival, testing, fundraisers, and...... ahhhh, stop it Laura!  lol

Moving on, I do have to say I see so many adoptive mom friends that have completed their first and/or second trips (Yay!!) and I am absolutely thrilled!!   I have gotten to know many of you via FB and your blogs and I cannot think of any group more loving and deserving than you all.   And I am continually amazed that although we are still waiting, this doesn't make me jealous or unhappy or even "woe is me, when will we travel"- it makes me joyous to see God bring so many families together and make so many children happy and safe.  That is what this whole adoption thing is about and it is God’s hand at work- how could I even question that perfection?  I can’t wait for the day we can all meet up at Polish Fest and let our children play- how special will that be since we have gone through these journeys together?  Awesome, simply awesome.

So how have I filled my time over the month?  Phew, lots of ways!  Number one, with all this bru-tal heat lately (we’ve been in at least the upper 90’s since June!), we have been focusing on cooler family activities.  That includes day trips, boating and tubing on our beautiful lake, and seeing movies- Cars 2, Mr. Popper's Penguins, in particular.  I have played chauffeur to soccer training sessions and 2 camps- Clemson University where he commuted and got to work with Div I coaches and MLS players; and Erskine, where they held his team camp.  At Erskine, my little guy stayed over from Thurs-Sun in the dorms, which was a huge step for him and mostly, me.  He was with his club teammates, absolutely loved it, and could not have been safer.  It was so good for him to branch out and stay with his soccer club buddies.  And best of all, although he urged me to leave asap after I unpacked him on Thurs ("Mama, I'm fine. You can go now"), he was so happy to see us on Sun and greeted me with a huge, sweaty, boy hug...in front of his friends!  Doesn't get much better than that!  

On the educational side of things, the other day we also attended a tour of the Clemson robotics department, which was totally cool!  Case got to drive a large robot through a maze, learn about light and sound sensors/technology, do facial recognition exercise, 3D computer generated technology, and see different uses for robotics.  Case was completely into it and was thinking all the way home of ways robotics can be used to enhance and improve daily life.  The best was when he said he would like to design a robot that would do the laundry to help me (cue the "awww!").  I loved that this experience really resonated with him and was educational to boot!  As a result, he asked to be signed up for the Lego League Robotics Camp in August for kids here in town and I was more than happy to comply.

So as we wait for word on our new son, we will continue to have fun in the sun and AC.  School is inching closer and closer and everyday I work on not stressing about the calendar.  I’m trying to focus on the positive and not worry as much about that which I can’t control.  One really good thing: my son’s new teacher for this year is fantastic (a man!) and very interactive with his students.  Should we have to travel during the year, we are thinking about setting up a protected blog where Case can write about his experiences in Poland and his classmates can ask him questions.   Another classmate whose family went on sabbatical to Spain last year did the same thing with this teacher and it helped keep him connected while away.   One way or another, it’ll all work out.

Until next time!

Taking this blog private- the whys

I love technology.  With blogs, websites, Skype, Facebook, etc we are able to stay so connected today with those we treasure, even when we are apart.  We can even meet new people, make friends, and revel in the joys of others.  And for me, that’s magical.  

But its can also be borderline creepy when people you don’t know try to friend you or read your blog without identifying themselves.  You can only take it for so long before you have protect yourself.  Sorry, people in Russia, Ukraine, Sweden, Argentina, Belgium, Bulgaria, Spain, Switzerland, Czech Republic, Philippines, India, Germany, and Ireland- when you check my blog and don’t identify yourself, it really weirds us out.  Yep, it's been this many countries- I have a traffic feed that tells me where.  If we knew you, then it would be fine.  But when we aren’t sure and you stay anonymous, we have to be cautious.  

For this reason, we are going to be taking this blog private for the duration of our adoption. This protects us and, more importantly, our new son once we receive a referral.  It also protects all of you that follow, by proxy.  So if you would like to be added to follow my blog, please send me your email so I can add you.   I already emailed some of you and if you responded, then you don't need to send it again.  It'll probably happen within the next week so you have time to contact me if you want to continue to follow.

Thanks!