So recently I updated our blog with a cool picture which essentially mimics the Blue Ridge mountains- which we see out our window every day. It was easy and didn't take much time, which I was very thankful for....unlike this whole adoption situation.
I have to admit, I am officially getting frustrated yet am still generally conflicted about the timetable for our referral (if it ever will come). Let me explain: Although I am glad the agency we work with has sorted out the bogus claims and situation with COA, I am increasingly annoyed that Poland and SMIA have been moving at a snail's pace lately. Supposedly this whole thing had no implications on the Poland side so I do NOT understand why there are families awaiting their second trips to get their children that are being kept on hold. I know the court dates are not SMIA's fault, but Poland has been so painstakingly slow that SMIA can't get these families squared away and hence, can't or won't advocate for others that are waiting to get a proper referral (ie one that fits what they requested).
And I know I shouldn't complain because this is absolutely and utterly unfair, but I have to vent: Our dossier is squeaky clean. I mean, freakishly clean. My husband is of Polish heritage (we even know where his family comes from!), we are both stable, educated professionals that are already established parents of a fantastic child, we are financially able to proceed with any adoption, and we are requesting an older aged child(ren) that most people aren't interested in and who are supposedly busting at the seams over there. So what is the hold up, I ask? We call and talk to the agency and are told "you just have to wait". Sorry, but that ain't cutting it lately. I am impatient to meet our child that God has chosen. Everyone says we have to wait for it to happen in "God's time", but these delays seem more secular that divine and I'm ready for some divine intervention to grease the wheels a bit.
At the same time, I am glad the whole travel thing didn't come down during October. I have had to be major peacemaker and deal broker on behalf of our elementary school PTO, of which I am president this year. I have had to calm nerves, provide encouragement, give direction (sometimes sternly), and act as intermediary for various stupid arguments between adults. Our school's major fundraiser is upcoming in early November and honestly, I'm not sure I could be absent during that time anyway. I've tried really hard to get everything in place and have secured so serious donations from national companies and Clemson University for our silent auction in the event we miraculously receive a good referral and travel, but I can't see that happening until after the event and definitely not until after the other families receive their second travel dates. Plus, the longer Case is in school the better for him. But we have reservations for Disneyworld in the spring that we thought we would be taking with 2 kids, and while it doesn't affect the room etc, there is no way we are losing that!
So here we sit- everything done right and looking great according to our agency yet no referral. I have to continually explain to my child that we are still patiently waiting and see the look him losing faith every day that it will happen. Plus, add in the possible anxiety, expense, and complete hassle of updating home studies and getting fingerprints redone should they expire after the new year and, well, I'm getting a bit ticked.
Wish this could be a happier post but that's where I am right now. Not looking for sympathy necessarily- just venting. I am praying that Kara and Tom, Heidi and David, Leigh and Greg, and Tracy and Scott all get their dates soon because they have been separated from their children WAY too long already and these families need to be reunited. So I call upon you, Almighty Father and Lord, and ask you to deliver these families and join them together at last. I also ask for the intercession of Holy Mary, Mother of God on behalf of all of us waiting for our children to come to us. Please help us and keep us strong during this trying time. Amen.
If I missed anyone else that is also waiting, my apologies.
ReplyDeleteLaura, I completely feel your pain. In the spring I was exactly where you are now. Waiting and praying for our referral to come every day while at the same time hoping that our travel wouldn't interfere with other events such as Molly's First Communion and her recital. I didn't then nor do I now understand the wait and why things take so incredibly long. I do however know without a doubt that the wait brought us to the kids that are meant to be ours. They are so perfect for our family. Now we just need to get them home!! I too agree with you that the delays often seem secular and I pray for God to bring us all to our kids right away. I also know the stress of facing the possibility of redoing all of the paperwork. We are facing that possibility if we don't have travel dates soon. I am praying for you to receive your referral very soon. I'm here for you anytime you need to vent. hugs
ReplyDelete"but these delays seem more secular that divine". This cracked me up.
ReplyDeleteI am really interested in learning more about how the whole referral process works. I have been meaning to ask my agency more about it, but alas, our phone calls lately have been for more important and depressing conversations. For example, I always thought Poland matched families with kids, but when in Poland I was told that the US agencies match the referrals to families, though certain referrals come with certain requirements (Polish heritage, etc). I still don't understand where the one set of pictures go. If someone out there knows all this, I would be so interested to know all the details.
ReplyDeleteKara, that is interesting. I thought that Poland did most of the matching but that occasionally an agency would be sent a referral and asked if they could find a family for that child/children. As in I thought some referrals come to the agency for a specific family and some come for any family or any Polish heritage family. I wonder how they decide which children are only available to Polish heritage families and which are available to anyone.
ReplyDeleteIt is all such a mystery. Frustration has just become part of the daily process for me. Laura, your posts usually crack me up too!!!:)
ReplyDelete