Well, we're waiting!

The title of this post is for all you Caddyshack fans out there, lol.   And in case you didn't guess, we have submitted our dossier and are now officially waiting!!  Yay!  What a HUGE relief to send Package-zilla off to the agency.  Although we went over the documents we had and what we needed many times (once me, then my husband, then us both...you get the picture), we finally were able to get 'er crated up and in the mail. Woohoo!

      

Here she is!

I realize that the folders don't look that impressive, but the bulk of materials is inside and I took this from overhead to fit everything in.   One thing we were super happy with was our pictures.   After getting advice from many people who have walked this path before, we decided to pick about 16-18 pics of our house and us as a family.  A bit more than usual, but what the heck right?  We had alot to show and it turned out great.  I must give props to one particularly brilliant idea that came from a friend who included a baby picture of her husband, so the Polish authorities could use that as reference.  We loved it, so we decided to tweak that a little and instead included a pic of Case around the age we are requesting for adoption.  We figured he's the best living proof of how Brian and I look combined, so hopefully it'll be a good guide.  So now the dossier continues on its magical, mystery tour to Poland to be translated and then we'll hopefully soon matched with our new son.  Still, its the potentially lengthy wait that seems the most daunting.  

Funny story: when I was in marching band on college, we always seemed to be in long lines waiting for something- whether it was for food, buses, waiting in the tunnel before a game, waiting in the kitchen area of a hotel before performing an alumni concert on a bowl trip (that was a crazy one), or waiting for rides in Disneyland, or on the sideline at Rose Bowls.  You name it, we waited and waited, but happily and peacefully.  "Hurry up and wait" was our mantra then, and it taught me such patience that I often have no issue with waiting in lines.  Who would have thought it would turn out to be a life-changing lesson?

And thus it has been with a good deal of this process so far.  I have still played the "hurry up and wait" game often and have done fine so far.  Yet, I know that this wait is so different and could be a hard one because of the uncertainty.  When I was pregnant with Case, I was cognizant of him growing everyday and he was ever present for me.  There was no doubt that the waiting period was finite.  And even when he was a week late and I was felt like a beached whale, I knew the end was near and I would be able to hold him.  Very unlike this process.  In international adoption, you know your child is in another place and waiting for you, but you don't know exactly where or when you will meet.  Nothing is harder for a mother than to be separated from her child(ren) and the yearning to hold them is immensely powerful.  That makes this waiting so much more challenging and although the pull is different, it is equally strong for me.

So we wait.  And to keep my humor, I think about the look on Judge Smail's/Ted Knight's face when he says those infamous lines "Well, we're waiting!"  

 

Until then, we will continue our Polish lessons, enjoy Case and our family, prepare for our new son, and mostly, pray for all my other adoptive mommy friends to receive referrals very soon!  

Fat Tuesday!

I have to admit, I look forward to this day.  In fact, I lick my lips just thinking about it.  Now, I know its the day before Lent and we should be readying ourselves etc, but I just can't help it.  Why, you ask?
In one word, pączki. 

Ahhh, pączki.....  Those glorious Polish fried dough, jelly-filled pieces of heaven.  And although I miss Michigan and my friends often, this is one day I really miss not living near Detroit.  Why?  Because there is simply nothing like the taste, smell, and decadence of pączki.   These little beauties contributed to many a happy memory during my college years in Ann Arbor as we would venture down to the Hamtramck area on Fat Tuesday or find them somewhere closer and, ohhh...bliss! 

In the South however, people just don't know what they are and look at me with a face of utter confusion when I mention them.  (insert southern accent here) "Pooch-key?  What's that?"  Sigh.  So to help educate the masses, today I took some Fat Tuesday treats into my husband's office.  Because I couldn't find true pączki (ahhh...pączki), I settled on jelly and creme filled doughnuts- not exact but about as close as I could get.  Even though I cleaned the bakery out, I still wasn't sure I had bought enough, so I also got some apple fritters.  Everyone from the billing and telephone staff to the med assistants, nurses, and other docs loved them but....sacrilege!  They almost all chose the fritters!!  What?? I tried to push the pączki (try saying that ten times fast, lol) but alas, these southerners just weren't interested.  Now to be fair, some chose the jelly-filled doughnuts and I told them about the yummy Polish treats, but I think they secretly would have chosen a fritter if I had bought more.  Oh well, what can you do?  lol 

So tomorrow we begin our annual Lenten journey and fast, but today for me, its time to enjoy a treat and celebrate Mardi Gras- literally.  Happy Fat Tuesday and here's wishing I could bring you all some pączki! 

Tak!

This week has been pretty eventful but the most welcome surprise was right in our mailbox today.  Let me set up the scenario-

I may not have mentioned but last week, exactly 3 weeks after we completed our biometric fingerprints, we still had not heard anything.  Now I know the federal government can move slowly and I understand they have alot of fingerprints to process, but I admit I kinda kept that 3 week time frame in the back of my mind and expected it to be done.  I know, I know; but I was trying to be optimistic.

Well, last Thursday's mail came and still no letter.  My husband offered to call the Hague Adoption Unit- the number on the USCIS site for any questions etc. and find out what was up.  The guy was dry, blunt, but ultimately helpful since we found out they had (pause for effect) not...even...assigned...our...case...to...an...agent...yet!  Argh!! 

In fact, they didn't even have record we had completed our fingerprints. (Um, huh??)

And then he said it could take up to 90 days.  (Double huh??)

Brian told him that we had originally applied in early January and it had been 3 weeks since the biometric appointment in early February.  As I listened, I must admit I was peeved, annoyed, and sad at the same time.  I mean how can these federal departments not talk to each other and not know something that was required was done etc etc etc.??  And then to have to wait even longer?  Ugh, I felt so helpless. 

But then a glimmer of hope...

Dry guy told Brian that he would flag our account (in a good way) and make sure it was given to an agent ASAP.  (Really??)  I was a bit surprised, but let's face it, ultimately skeptical.  I figured another 3 weeks, maybe more. 

And then I went to the mailbox today.....

Hallelujah!!!  And the amazing part?  It came exactly one week after Brian spoke to that guy!  I mean, seriously?!  Way to go dry guy!!

And we were thrilled, but Case could not have been happier!  He ran in to tell my husband and insisted I take his picture with it.  Ok, the smile is his standard forced one, but trust me he was giddy!

And you know, I can be such an incredible cynic sometimes regarding our government and is efficiencies (or perceived lack thereof), but I have to truly pick feathers out of my teeth from all the times so far during this journey I have had to eat crow.  But its not my fault.  The US government has this reputation as being sooo big and sooo slow that you practically expect it to fail and have ridiculous delays.  And even more so, we expect the people that work for it to be uncaring automatons that would just as soon blow you off as a whiner, instead of really trying to help make things happen.  In reality, there are some really great government people out there and most are in the trenches, doing jobs that really impact us as Americans in our daily life and our goals and aspirations.  From the passport office to the post office, from the FBI to the Dept of Homeland Security, from the State to the Federal, we have had numerous and often unnamed people give us invaluable help along the way.  Unexpected, yet pleasant surprises?  Obviously.  Providence?  Definitely.  Of that I have no doubt.

So TAK, TAK, TAK! (which as you guessed or know is "yes, yes, yes" in Polish)  We have finally been approved and after one last apostille, we'll send this off to the agency and then on to Poland.  A huge, gigantic step towards our child that is waiting for us to come and bring him home.  We're coming sweetheart!

Spring Yard Cleaning- a metaphor and reality of a blessed life.

This was a beautiful weekend and absolutely perfect weather for doing yard work.  I know, mid-February, right?  Well, it was in the upper 70's, clear and sunny and we just had to get outside.  It seems like an apt metaphor also as we clean and prepare for the new addition to our family, hopefully sometimes this year.  After a little playtime with our son Case (he is working on soccer moves and came up with a pretty sweet one actually), we tackled power washing the house and cutting back some shrubs.   For some reason, as I watched the clean house shine through, I somehow felt rejuvenated and hopeful.  Maybe its springtime, maybe its finishing a task that needed to be done; but I couldn't help feeling it was connected to our adoption journey.  

Now, Case was a great help and really reveled in stacking up the pruned branches and driving the wheelbarrow (with Daddy's assistance).  I'm often amazed at how big he has gotten and how mature he seems at times.  As I helped him stack the small branches, he also seemed to exude a hopeful enthusiasm and I thought he probably was sensing or feeling something similar.  It made me smile to think we were so connected in our tasks, in their completion, and our rejuvenation....until.   As we were finishing up, he turned to me and said, "You know, there will be more of us in the family next year".  I smiled and said, "I know.  Won't that be great?" and he said "Yea.  Then you guys can keep working and my brother and me can play soccer".  Well, so much for that!  lol   So maybe we aren't feeling the exact same thing, but he still makes me smile and I know he is looking forward to this journey as much as we are- even if it is for different reasons. 

Never underestimate the value of a good courier service!

As you can tell by the headline, we successfully received our apostilled FBI background forms today in the mail!  I must admit having never used a courier service from out of state, I was a little nervous.  Even though we spoke with Ted (their expert that handles these types of documents) and he seemed totally professional and on top of it- he even knew what the problem was before we told him, lol- sending them the only physical forms we had was cause for nerves.  Now that they are back in my hot little hands, I will sing their praises and if I need something done again in DC, I won't hesitate.  For those that wonder, we used Washington Express.  They were courteous, responsive, available 24/7, and the documents arrived quickly and in pristine condition.  In other words- THEY ROCK!   Even though it cost a bit more, we probably saved soooo much in time that it was worth every penny.  Plus, they sent back our documents Fed Ex via their corporate rate- bonus!  Anyway, if anyone ever needs to use a service like this, don't hesitate to use Washington Express.  I know we will!

So, on last week's episode...

We were in the midst of figuring out what we would do about getting that FBI background clearance apostilled in a timely matter.  Well, as I posted before, we figured out where it had to go (USDOS, not South Carolina); but we didn't know how we would get it there and back in a timely manner.  Well, enter a Washington DC courier service.  Yep, we decided to send the documents through a service and they will go to the actual Authentications Office, walk-up, and wait for it to be done.  We talked to Ted, who was super knowledgeable and he knew exactly what we were talking about because basically this is all he does for their office- that's how many documents like this they handle in DC!  It does cost a bit more, but we decided it was well worth it to get it back in 2 days rather 15+ business days (maybe, and not counting mail time).  So we giving Ted a go and hopefully, problem solved.

As for today- we went and had our federal biometric fingerprints done in Atlanta and finished yet another step of the journey to dossier completion.  The people there were totally nice and professional, we were in and out in under 30 min, and the biometric process itself was UBER-COOL!!  I don't know why but I just thought it was awesome.  Of course, that's probably because no red flags came up for me- lol lol!  I was so fascinated watching that the guy told me I was one of the most relaxed people he did all week, lol.  My husband, on the other hand, was getting constantly scolded (in a nice way) about trying to help the lady with it and not holding his hand right etc.  She and I just laughed because since he is over 6'3" and she was kinda short, he couldn't get low enough to make it easy.  Still, we got it done and overall, the whole process was pain-free.  The other cool thing was talking to a few of the different foreign people there getting their prints done while we were in line.   Countries represented in our small time frame were Germany, Thailand, Pakistan, another Middle Eastern nation (a very elderly couple who didn't speak English, but were sooo cute!), Mexico, and Korea.  Pretty cool, right?  Anyway, kudos to the Dept of Homeland Security for their efficiency, professionalism, and friendliness.

Lastly, today was also great because we received our homestudy (2 copies) apostilled from the State of NC!   I was happily surprised that NC did it so quickly- we had it in about a 4 day turnaround, which includes sending and receiving.  Not too shabby, eh?  Outside of the I-171H (and the aforementioned FBI clearance), we're pretty well done with the paper chase- can I get a "Woohoo!"? 

Until next time........ 

Nieudolny

In Polish, it means inept.  I have a little widget I found to put on this blog that provides me with a daily Polish word to help me learn more of the language.  And although I love it, it seemed almost prophetic since it kinda captured my feelings about the federal government, especially today.   Now, I am a pretty realistic kind of girl- generally patient and able to see the silver linings amongst the clouds.  Today, I was thrilled when good ole Fed Ex delivered all 33 documents we had sent in to the state of SC all apostilled and pretty.  They all had the nice letter, were attached, signed, all except.... the one for the FBI background check.  Hello cloud. 

This would be the same FBI background check we initially did back in the beginning of fall and received in October as "No Records Found".  Now, at the time, I followed the information to a "t" on both the FBI site and through the info the agency provided.  When I sent the request with the fingerprint cards, I actually called the FBI and spoke to a less than pleasant "professional" that told me exactly what they needed to go directly from that office to authentication.  "No, no charge if they go directly from our office", "Yes, this is exactly what you need to put.  Didn't you look at our website?".  Sigh.  So anyway, I sent in our cover letter with the EXACT wording they had provided me- and yes, which was on their website.  Of course, we got the letters back stamped, but not apostilled .  So I called again and got another "happy" official,  and they told me they didn't do that because our state could.  Ok....  So that matched up with the letter and info our agency had sent regarding getting it apostilled through our state so everything was cool right?  Wrong.  Apparently, most states (but the only one that matters for us is SC) will NOT apostille that document even with the notarized letter recommended from our agency.  Ah, learning curve.  I missed you.  lol  I knew things were going too smoothly.  

So today, we called the SC Sec of State to double check and they told us that they had specific instructions from the FBI- you remember them, the ones who told me exactly what to do?- to NOT apostille any form meant for overseas and that it had to go through the US Dept of State and it should be on the request letter and....blah, blah blah blah, BLAH!   Totally frustrating.  I could have obviously sent that form in a WHILE ago, had it apostilled by the US Dept of State, and back already in my hot little hands, but instead we have to send in even MORE money and wait.  Nieudolny.  I almost feel like buying a $79 ticket to DC just to walk-in with the darn thing!  lol 

Ok, so various silver linings-
1)  The lady from the SC Sec. of State was super awesome (I mean, alot of people are nice in the South, but she was fantastic) and told us exactly what needed to be done; 
2)  We are going to call the wonderful lady we worked with before (you might remember the high praise I paid Naomi from an earlier post) and see if she'll expedite/help us out;  
3)  We still have time for all this because we need to get the final 171H and get our home study sent and back from NC;  
4)  And best of all, we did received the lion's share of the dossier today, all sealed and signed and ready to go once the loose ends are tied up.  Oh, and did I mention they turned it around in one day??  Wow, bravo South Carolina!  

So, I'll try to keep looking on the bright side and carry on, even in the midst of "nieudolny".