Thursday, July 28, 2011
No, not a referral yet, but still something cool
So I'm up at school yesterday doing prep work and PTO stuff (since we start back in a few weeks) and our principal tells me that a new student enrolled whose mom is from Poland! He's going to introduce us once we get back to school, but what a great resource, eh? Also, my husband recently had a new patient in his office that is also Polish and here teaching at the university. Nice guy, new member our parish, and yet another resource for us in the community! More proof that God is constantly giving us little reminders to stay faithful, be patient, and that He is looking out for our new son. Thank you Father!
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Another month down
Well, we've hit the 4 month mark and although I know small in comparison to some, it’s still another milestone in this interesting process. I must admit that selfishly I was hoping we would be taking our first trip by mid-August. I know, I know- God's time can't be rushed or planned- but its not because we are just so anxious to meet our new son; its for a couple of other more practical reasons, which might be even worse, lol.
This sad and silly but here goes. My son starts back to school in August and I really hate the idea of taking him out for a week once he’s in to travel to Poland. Now some people would say "just leave him home"; but here's the thing- he really, really wants to go along and meet his brother. How do I deny him that? lol And honestly, I want to see them interact together too and think it'll be a fantastic experience for him. Since we are looking at adopting a child over 5, I feel their dynamics will be very important and I want them to get a great start. And our school is fabulous and will definitely be understanding make no mistake- its just that he starting 4th grade and is doing sooo well that I don’t want to do anything that would disrupt it. See? Silly, but a worry nonetheless.
And the second reason is even worse. This year I got saddled with...I mean, honored with being elected PTO president. I could’ve said no, but that’s just not me. We needed someone and I was the most qualified...ok, actually I was just next in line. And I do love being a part of the organization and all it does for our elementary school, so how could I refuse?
Anyway, I can’t help but look at not only the school calendar, but also the PTO calendar and see when a trip would fit in best. These are absolutely crazy worries and not even related to a job! Lol lol! In fact, I’m less concerned about my husband taking off work from his practice! How skewed is that?? I know, I need to get over it because everything will work out fine and later in life, I’m sure we’ll look back and laugh at my silliness. Still....with fall festival, testing, fundraisers, and...... ahhhh, stop it Laura! lol
Moving on, I do have to say I see so many adoptive mom friends that have completed their first and/or second trips (Yay!!) and I am absolutely thrilled!! I have gotten to know many of you via FB and your blogs and I cannot think of any group more loving and deserving than you all. And I am continually amazed that although we are still waiting, this doesn't make me jealous or unhappy or even "woe is me, when will we travel"- it makes me joyous to see God bring so many families together and make so many children happy and safe. That is what this whole adoption thing is about and it is God’s hand at work- how could I even question that perfection? I can’t wait for the day we can all meet up at Polish Fest and let our children play- how special will that be since we have gone through these journeys together? Awesome, simply awesome.
So how have I filled my time over the month? Phew, lots of ways! Number one, with all this bru-tal heat lately (we’ve been in at least the upper 90’s since June!), we have been focusing on cooler family activities. That includes day trips, boating and tubing on our beautiful lake, and seeing movies- Cars 2, Mr. Popper's Penguins, in particular. I have played chauffeur to soccer training sessions and 2 camps- Clemson University where he commuted and got to work with Div I coaches and MLS players; and Erskine, where they held his team camp. At Erskine, my little guy stayed over from Thurs-Sun in the dorms, which was a huge step for him and mostly, me. He was with his club teammates, absolutely loved it, and could not have been safer. It was so good for him to branch out and stay with his soccer club buddies. And best of all, although he urged me to leave asap after I unpacked him on Thurs ("Mama, I'm fine. You can go now"), he was so happy to see us on Sun and greeted me with a huge, sweaty, boy hug...in front of his friends! Doesn't get much better than that!
On the educational side of things, the other day we also attended a tour of the Clemson robotics department, which was totally cool! Case got to drive a large robot through a maze, learn about light and sound sensors/technology, do facial recognition exercise, 3D computer generated technology, and see different uses for robotics. Case was completely into it and was thinking all the way home of ways robotics can be used to enhance and improve daily life. The best was when he said he would like to design a robot that would do the laundry to help me (cue the "awww!"). I loved that this experience really resonated with him and was educational to boot! As a result, he asked to be signed up for the Lego League Robotics Camp in August for kids here in town and I was more than happy to comply.
So as we wait for word on our new son, we will continue to have fun in the sun and AC. School is inching closer and closer and everyday I work on not stressing about the calendar. I’m trying to focus on the positive and not worry as much about that which I can’t control. One really good thing: my son’s new teacher for this year is fantastic (a man!) and very interactive with his students. Should we have to travel during the year, we are thinking about setting up a protected blog where Case can write about his experiences in Poland and his classmates can ask him questions. Another classmate whose family went on sabbatical to Spain last year did the same thing with this teacher and it helped keep him connected while away. One way or another, it’ll all work out.
Until next time!
Taking this blog private- the whys
I love technology. With blogs, websites, Skype, Facebook, etc we are able to stay so connected today with those we treasure, even when we are apart. We can even meet new people, make friends, and revel in the joys of others. And for me, that’s magical.
But its can also be borderline creepy when people you don’t know try to friend you or read your blog without identifying themselves. You can only take it for so long before you have protect yourself. Sorry, people in Russia, Ukraine, Sweden, Argentina, Belgium, Bulgaria, Spain, Switzerland, Czech Republic, Philippines, India, Germany, and Ireland- when you check my blog and don’t identify yourself, it really weirds us out. Yep, it's been this many countries- I have a traffic feed that tells me where. If we knew you, then it would be fine. But when we aren’t sure and you stay anonymous, we have to be cautious.
For this reason, we are going to be taking this blog private for the duration of our adoption. This protects us and, more importantly, our new son once we receive a referral. It also protects all of you that follow, by proxy. So if you would like to be added to follow my blog, please send me your email so I can add you. I already emailed some of you and if you responded, then you don't need to send it again. It'll probably happen within the next week so you have time to contact me if you want to continue to follow.
Thanks!
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Cooking in June and July discoveries
Its been a little bit since I last posted a blog entry so I thought I'd catch those following up on my escapades (teehee!). Again, SUPER long, but I want to capture these moments and sound interesting....kidding!
If I wanted to summarize the summer so far, its been H-O-T...brutal hot...with temps over 95 almost every day and high humidity (so my hair looks most days like Rosanne Rosannadanna). Its definitely worn out its welcome and is so "over" that it needs to vacate...and soon! Still, we did manage a few things:
Most of my early and mid June was taken up with serving, yet again, as the craft coordinator for VBS. I originally took this job on after this one person flaked out and totally dropped the ball and it was ALOT at the time. Still, I survived and got many compliments on my "creations" that I just continued to volunteer year after year. But, with Case closing in on 10 and after having done it for over 7 year now, I was totally cool with another person taking over and as MacArthur said "simply fading away". Alas, that was not to be, lol. For whatever reason, everyone is terrified of crafts and doing it for almost 100 elementary school kids on average makes most people run for the hills. So when they asked, I thought "ok, I'll do it one more year". The theme this year was cooking and I have to say, although it was very challenging to integrate cooking with learning about God and Jesus, I think I was pretty successful. And better yet, the children LOVED it! My thing is to have crafts that make them use both gross and fine motor skills and a variety of different mediums and textures if possible, so I never order the kits from the VBS company (of course, Oriental Trading and I know each other well and communicate regularly- ie they send about 3000 unsolicited magazines to me each year, lol). I also design the craft to relate to the bible verse or special message of the day. I feel it makes it more salient for the kids. Anyway, here are some of the crafts we did:
Of course, I had a wonderful time with the kids again and loved seeing their faces as they made the connection between our food theme and the Bible. Ok, the fact I had pictures up of famous Disney chefs and songs from "Ratatouille", "Lady and the Tramp"(Bella Notte), "Beauty and the Beast" (Be Our Guest), "Finding Nemo (La Mer), and various other french accordion songs (yes, there are albums available on iTunes! who woulda thunk it? lol) probably added to my enjoyment. Still, I'll be doing it again next year and probably more after that once we return home with our son.
Ah, you are wondering about our status- well, we have not heard anything solid yet, but it has only been just over 3 months. I know others have waited wayyyy longer. So we're patient and optimistic. The one thing I was hoping for was to have our first trip before Case started school, but we can't plan everything, right? We have filled the hours with boating, swim lessons, yard projects, and blueberry picking. Here is our over-designed, over-engineered, over-everything firepit and rec area that we decided to complete when the temps spiked 97-99. Nice timing, right? lol It is 45in in diameter and turned out great (and no, it isn't a kit):
Here we are picking blueberries- hard to see but the trees were dripping with them- and me and my boy. Brian was busy filling his bucket in another row, "Ka plink, Ka plank, Ka plunk" (How many remember that one? teehee!) *see bottom for answer youngsters
In the meantime, I have been having fun finding out more and more information about our Polish ancestry- which come to find out is much more vast than we realized. We knew Brian was 1/4 Polish on his dad's side and they have always celebrated all sorts of Polish traditions through his grandmother etc. What he didn't know was where the family was originally from and how far back it went. Anyway, we were talking about all this and Brian's dad remembered all kinds of new information nuggets. My F-I-L is getting up there, but he's still as sharp as a tack and frankly didn't even think to tell us some stories, lol. Guess he thought we knew by osmosis? lol But as a result of the new info, we've (I've) found some cool things!
Now, his mom (Brian's babcia) was something of a scandal because she was the first one to not marry a Pole in many generations; instead she married (gasp) an Irishman! At least he was Catholic too, which is probably what her very Polish Catholic parents and large family thought, lol! I'm kidding, they loved her husband loads! Anyway, one cool factoid in particular helped me to find a very distant cousin who had loads of information on Brian's great-great-, great-, and grandparents. Including Brian's grandmother, they were all 100% Polish, but until recently we weren't exactly sure where the hometown was in the old country. Most of the records we had stated Prussia or Poland as birthplaces, but no town. It was pretty common back then and even names changed when they loaded boats because of language barriers, etc. Still, I found this cousin and corresponded with him and lo and behold....I found it! Turns out Brian's family from wayyy back comes from a little town by Gdansk called Kosciercyna. Brian was absolutely thrilled when I told him! We totally want to visit here, even if the adoption takes us elsewhere in country, because how cool is that??! Better yet (wink wink) I scored major points with the father-in-law because he had not heard that name since he was a little boy. lol! Not that I had to, but he was really happy and that made me happy as well! It almost felt like returning a lost heirloom, if you will. Giving them the actual name of their ancestor's hometown was really special, like returning a piece of their history, and helped us to feel even more connected to this wonderful country. Which is why we can't wait to experience it firsthand. This was really the candle on the frosting on the cake :)
And while we would love to see Poland ourselves, we have definitely been enjoying it secondhand, lol! During the waiting period, I have definitely had my attention shifted by all the HAPPY NEWS so many of my fellow adoptive mommies have received! Truly, these are all answers to our many individual and collective prayers. Brooke, Heidi, Kara, Renee, Jennifer, Tracy....holy cow! The pure numbers are nothing but God's hand at work! I am absolutely thrilled for each and every one of you and know you will all be loving, fabulous mothers! Someday we will all have to have massive reunions all around the country! And I am overusing my exclamation point!! lol lol Anyway, I love following your journeys and for all the encouragement you give to us. We are happily waiting because we know we can't rush God and He always knows the perfect time. Plus we have our loving, energetic, wonderful son to keep us busy so although we too look forward to receiving our referral, we are happily basking in the beauty and love of your adoptive journeys. Thanks for letting us come along :)
Well, that's it for this installment. I find myself a little lonely right now since I dropped Case off at his first ever stay overnight soccer camp. He's with all his buddies from his soccer club (I was politely dismissed and told I could leave almost as soon as we got him unpacked, lol!). Now, I'm sure he'll have a blast, but its the first time he's been away for so long (3 nights) and I can't help but be a worry-wort. He's smart and a great kid, but he's my baby....and he's growing up fast. I love him to pieces and just don't want to miss a second. :) Oh geez, what will I do when he goes to college??
Until next time dear friends.... :)
*Blueberries for Sal! One of my faves growing up :)
If I wanted to summarize the summer so far, its been H-O-T...brutal hot...with temps over 95 almost every day and high humidity (so my hair looks most days like Rosanne Rosannadanna). Its definitely worn out its welcome and is so "over" that it needs to vacate...and soon! Still, we did manage a few things:
Most of my early and mid June was taken up with serving, yet again, as the craft coordinator for VBS. I originally took this job on after this one person flaked out and totally dropped the ball and it was ALOT at the time. Still, I survived and got many compliments on my "creations" that I just continued to volunteer year after year. But, with Case closing in on 10 and after having done it for over 7 year now, I was totally cool with another person taking over and as MacArthur said "simply fading away". Alas, that was not to be, lol. For whatever reason, everyone is terrified of crafts and doing it for almost 100 elementary school kids on average makes most people run for the hills. So when they asked, I thought "ok, I'll do it one more year". The theme this year was cooking and I have to say, although it was very challenging to integrate cooking with learning about God and Jesus, I think I was pretty successful. And better yet, the children LOVED it! My thing is to have crafts that make them use both gross and fine motor skills and a variety of different mediums and textures if possible, so I never order the kits from the VBS company (of course, Oriental Trading and I know each other well and communicate regularly- ie they send about 3000 unsolicited magazines to me each year, lol). I also design the craft to relate to the bible verse or special message of the day. I feel it makes it more salient for the kids. Anyway, here are some of the crafts we did:
Of course, I had a wonderful time with the kids again and loved seeing their faces as they made the connection between our food theme and the Bible. Ok, the fact I had pictures up of famous Disney chefs and songs from "Ratatouille", "Lady and the Tramp"(Bella Notte), "Beauty and the Beast" (Be Our Guest), "Finding Nemo (La Mer), and various other french accordion songs (yes, there are albums available on iTunes! who woulda thunk it? lol) probably added to my enjoyment. Still, I'll be doing it again next year and probably more after that once we return home with our son.
Ah, you are wondering about our status- well, we have not heard anything solid yet, but it has only been just over 3 months. I know others have waited wayyyy longer. So we're patient and optimistic. The one thing I was hoping for was to have our first trip before Case started school, but we can't plan everything, right? We have filled the hours with boating, swim lessons, yard projects, and blueberry picking. Here is our over-designed, over-engineered, over-everything firepit and rec area that we decided to complete when the temps spiked 97-99. Nice timing, right? lol It is 45in in diameter and turned out great (and no, it isn't a kit):
Here we are picking blueberries- hard to see but the trees were dripping with them- and me and my boy. Brian was busy filling his bucket in another row, "Ka plink, Ka plank, Ka plunk" (How many remember that one? teehee!) *see bottom for answer youngsters
In the meantime, I have been having fun finding out more and more information about our Polish ancestry- which come to find out is much more vast than we realized. We knew Brian was 1/4 Polish on his dad's side and they have always celebrated all sorts of Polish traditions through his grandmother etc. What he didn't know was where the family was originally from and how far back it went. Anyway, we were talking about all this and Brian's dad remembered all kinds of new information nuggets. My F-I-L is getting up there, but he's still as sharp as a tack and frankly didn't even think to tell us some stories, lol. Guess he thought we knew by osmosis? lol But as a result of the new info, we've (I've) found some cool things!
Now, his mom (Brian's babcia) was something of a scandal because she was the first one to not marry a Pole in many generations; instead she married (gasp) an Irishman! At least he was Catholic too, which is probably what her very Polish Catholic parents and large family thought, lol! I'm kidding, they loved her husband loads! Anyway, one cool factoid in particular helped me to find a very distant cousin who had loads of information on Brian's great-great-, great-, and grandparents. Including Brian's grandmother, they were all 100% Polish, but until recently we weren't exactly sure where the hometown was in the old country. Most of the records we had stated Prussia or Poland as birthplaces, but no town. It was pretty common back then and even names changed when they loaded boats because of language barriers, etc. Still, I found this cousin and corresponded with him and lo and behold....I found it! Turns out Brian's family from wayyy back comes from a little town by Gdansk called Kosciercyna. Brian was absolutely thrilled when I told him! We totally want to visit here, even if the adoption takes us elsewhere in country, because how cool is that??! Better yet (wink wink) I scored major points with the father-in-law because he had not heard that name since he was a little boy. lol! Not that I had to, but he was really happy and that made me happy as well! It almost felt like returning a lost heirloom, if you will. Giving them the actual name of their ancestor's hometown was really special, like returning a piece of their history, and helped us to feel even more connected to this wonderful country. Which is why we can't wait to experience it firsthand. This was really the candle on the frosting on the cake :)
And while we would love to see Poland ourselves, we have definitely been enjoying it secondhand, lol! During the waiting period, I have definitely had my attention shifted by all the HAPPY NEWS so many of my fellow adoptive mommies have received! Truly, these are all answers to our many individual and collective prayers. Brooke, Heidi, Kara, Renee, Jennifer, Tracy....holy cow! The pure numbers are nothing but God's hand at work! I am absolutely thrilled for each and every one of you and know you will all be loving, fabulous mothers! Someday we will all have to have massive reunions all around the country! And I am overusing my exclamation point!! lol lol Anyway, I love following your journeys and for all the encouragement you give to us. We are happily waiting because we know we can't rush God and He always knows the perfect time. Plus we have our loving, energetic, wonderful son to keep us busy so although we too look forward to receiving our referral, we are happily basking in the beauty and love of your adoptive journeys. Thanks for letting us come along :)
Well, that's it for this installment. I find myself a little lonely right now since I dropped Case off at his first ever stay overnight soccer camp. He's with all his buddies from his soccer club (I was politely dismissed and told I could leave almost as soon as we got him unpacked, lol!). Now, I'm sure he'll have a blast, but its the first time he's been away for so long (3 nights) and I can't help but be a worry-wort. He's smart and a great kid, but he's my baby....and he's growing up fast. I love him to pieces and just don't want to miss a second. :) Oh geez, what will I do when he goes to college??
Until next time dear friends.... :)
*Blueberries for Sal! One of my faves growing up :)
Friday, June 3, 2011
Dreams
I believe in the power of dreams. They say dreams are our brain's way of sorting out our thoughts and letting our mind rest. I tend to have colorful, sometimes vivid dreams, but rarely have nightmares. My dreams usually involve quite creative, sometimes intricate stories and serve different purposes. For example, when I'm really stressed, I usually have a dream about being in college and specifically, the Michigan Marching Band when I was carefree, in great shape (I mean, come on, I was 18, lol!), and was surrounded by my best friends daily. It was a fun time and I think my dreams are centered there to help me settle. Its comforting and reassuring at the same time and I always wake feeling relieved and rested, ready to tackle whatever I need to.
I usually enjoy my dreams, even if I don't necessarily understand them. But dreams can sometimes have other meanings and I believe there is divine intervention involved with many of our dreams. In fact, I believe certain dreams are God's messages, whispered to us by the angels. Angel whispers are soft and gentle, and they help our thoughts relax so we can sleep in peace, unbothered by the beating of our hearts which never sleep and without the complications of life when we’re awake. Then, when we awake, we are newly blessed, with the angel’s whisper mixing perfectly with our own spirit. I think they also often show us glimpses into the future.
When I was pregnant with Case, I am positive an angel whispered to me. Now, during my pregnancy, I had probably the most bizarre vivid dreams I will ever have in my entire life! There are three that stick in my memory because they were just so clear- the first 2 were absolutely weird and more than likely hormonally driven, but the third was completely different.
The first one was in my 2nd trimester and involved looking out our 2nd floor bedroom window and seeing dinosaurs walking through our backyard. And I mean BIG ones like Brachiosaurs! But they didn't cause a ruckus or any damage- they were all quiet, peaceful, and just sauntered around. Yep, that's right- a yard full of dinosaurs. The second one was in my 2nd trimester too and was a type of "labor dream". In it, I went in the hospital and when the baby was born and the nurse held it up....it was the cutest schnauzer puppy you could imagine! All wrapped up in a baby blanket and no one seemed the least bit weirded out. Um, ok.....lol! Now, I think this happened because at the time (and still) my little schnauzer Lambeau was the only baby I had and I loved him sooo much (still do!). Still, after these I wasn't sure what to think. I figured they were just normal, weird pregnancy dreams that had some involved meaning but frankly, I didn't want to figure it out (it was summer and I was getting bigger and well, I didn't want to think too hard, lol). Then the third dream came along. To this day, I KNOW that this was an angel whisper.
We had decided not to find out the sex of our baby because...well...there are so few surprises in life that are absolutely joyful and we wanted keep God's surprise for the moment the baby was born. So even though different people had their sure-fire methods for predicting the sex (the string thing, how I carried the baby, etc), I blew most of it off. Then I had "the dream". It was at the beginning of my third trimester. I had not even been thinking about the baby's sex, but one day I had a very clear dream that it was be a boy- a big, healthy baby boy! From the second I woke up, I knew an angel had whispered to me. I just knew it! I decided not to share the dream with my husband (who was convinced we were having a girl...then a boy...then a girl, lol!) because I wanted to keep this little secret to myself. It felt so special, I was absolutely sure I had received divine news. From that moment on, I focused on mainly boy names and boy themes etc and on a beautiful fall day, I was blessed to become the mother of...yep, a big, healthy baby boy! Everyone else was surprised and happy and I was too in a way, but not in the same way. I realized I had had a very spiritual, very personal experience and my faith was further reinforced that God and his angels were always with me and looking over me. It was truly beautiful and something I'll forever cherish, as I do the son sent to me from God that day.
Now as we get closer to our 3rd month of waiting for a referral, I wonder when and if I am going to have a dream of my second son, my other God-sent baby that is waiting for us in Poland. If I have it, will the dream be as simple and straightforward as the one about Case? Will there be more information and perhaps even descriptive details? I obviously haven't had this dream yet, but I'm hoping I do. I know I can't control when they come and what they're about, but I love the thought that my angels bring me messages of hope and love when I rest. This adoption journey is so much different than experiencing a pregnancy, but the serenity that comes with an angel whisper is something I would love to hear again. Until then, I will wait patiently because as I have faith God is perfect in his timing and if He needs me to know something about our new son, I'm positive He'll let me know. And hopefully an angel will whisper its soft and gentle message in our son's ear as well while he's peacefully asleep to let him know how much we love him and that we'll be coming soon.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Endings, beginnings, and lots of fun stuff in between
Well, the last couple of weeks have been busy and I can see the summer light at the end of the tunnel. We recently had my son's first PASS testing period- which is the state assessment tests for SC. He was only a little nervous and mainly about the actually test itself, rather than the material on it. After the first day (which was math, his favorite and best subject), he took it all in stride. He also had soccer tryouts and have started making plans for summer. I'm really proud of him and marvel at how much he has grown this year. I, on the other hand, have also grown- but in an unexpected way.
The last couple of weeks has given me a huge reality check as a mom. For so long, I have held his hand and helped him out with so many things, but during this last week with testing and tryouts, I had to trust his abilities and let go, in a sense. He is an independent, smart kid and it's not the first time he has done things without assistance. Its just that with testing (especially the state tests), I realized he was truly on his own. Parents aren't allowed in their kids' hallways during the testing periods and the conference room where they store the testing material is uber-secure. Of course, I made sure he had a great breakfast everyday, talked about the upcoming subjects if he wanted to, made sure we played to relieve any stress, and made sure he got plenty of quality sleep. In other words, I did all I could as a mom. But then it was all him. Now, I am sure he did great, but it's a bit sobering when you realize for the first time your baby has to face something completely on his own. You can review things with them and sooth any nerves they have, but you have to have faith that they are prepared.
During this same week, Case also had his two-day tryouts for his club soccer team. Now, this isn't nearly as serious as the testing, but it still is a big deal as the kids get placed on teams based on their abilities etc. But again, I had to let him shine on his own. Parents stay on the sideline and the coaches run everything. He absolutely loves his club and the teams and coaches are phenomenal, many with collegiate, professional, and European/International experience. And let's face it, there's not much cooler than talking soccer with guys that have heavy English, Irish, German, or Australian accents, lol! Since Case still plays U-10, the teams are pretty equal; but the coaches still evaluated the players during drills etc. and yet again, it was his moment to perform independently. I had to again believe I had done my job and that he was prepared. He, of course, did great and was very satisfied with his effort. It also provided a great stress release and confidence builder for him during the PASS testing phase. It's kinda cool to hear kids from all different schools that know each other from the club talking about the PASS tests because they all were taking the same ones, lol!
And now as we head into summer and the end of academic-related things and sports tryouts, I must face the next step in my mommy-dom- the overnight weekend soccer camp. I am signing him up with his buddies from the club today and although it's close, secure, and he'll be rooming with his friend, I will still worry. But I have faith I have prepared him for this next step and he will blossom in some new-found independence and the further realization of the faith we have in him. Guess it's all a part of being a good mom. Now, if I can just be sure he'll take a shower everyday after practice at camp......
The last couple of weeks has given me a huge reality check as a mom. For so long, I have held his hand and helped him out with so many things, but during this last week with testing and tryouts, I had to trust his abilities and let go, in a sense. He is an independent, smart kid and it's not the first time he has done things without assistance. Its just that with testing (especially the state tests), I realized he was truly on his own. Parents aren't allowed in their kids' hallways during the testing periods and the conference room where they store the testing material is uber-secure. Of course, I made sure he had a great breakfast everyday, talked about the upcoming subjects if he wanted to, made sure we played to relieve any stress, and made sure he got plenty of quality sleep. In other words, I did all I could as a mom. But then it was all him. Now, I am sure he did great, but it's a bit sobering when you realize for the first time your baby has to face something completely on his own. You can review things with them and sooth any nerves they have, but you have to have faith that they are prepared.
During this same week, Case also had his two-day tryouts for his club soccer team. Now, this isn't nearly as serious as the testing, but it still is a big deal as the kids get placed on teams based on their abilities etc. But again, I had to let him shine on his own. Parents stay on the sideline and the coaches run everything. He absolutely loves his club and the teams and coaches are phenomenal, many with collegiate, professional, and European/International experience. And let's face it, there's not much cooler than talking soccer with guys that have heavy English, Irish, German, or Australian accents, lol! Since Case still plays U-10, the teams are pretty equal; but the coaches still evaluated the players during drills etc. and yet again, it was his moment to perform independently. I had to again believe I had done my job and that he was prepared. He, of course, did great and was very satisfied with his effort. It also provided a great stress release and confidence builder for him during the PASS testing phase. It's kinda cool to hear kids from all different schools that know each other from the club talking about the PASS tests because they all were taking the same ones, lol!
And now as we head into summer and the end of academic-related things and sports tryouts, I must face the next step in my mommy-dom- the overnight weekend soccer camp. I am signing him up with his buddies from the club today and although it's close, secure, and he'll be rooming with his friend, I will still worry. But I have faith I have prepared him for this next step and he will blossom in some new-found independence and the further realization of the faith we have in him. Guess it's all a part of being a good mom. Now, if I can just be sure he'll take a shower everyday after practice at camp......
Friday, May 6, 2011
Quite a week
Well, this week has been pretty event-filled for sure. It has been world-changing, game-changing, and yet thought-provoking as well. So forgive me the length as I share my perspective.
Like everyone in the rest of the world, all I could say early this week was "Wow." Last Sunday evening, it was about 10:35 pm and I was up watching tv. Ok, truth be told I was watching, gulp, one of "The Real Housewives" shows on the DVR- I know, I know, but I love them for some reason, lol! Anyway, after that comes on "Watch What Happens Live" with one of the funniest people, Andy Cohen. Its usually a lighthearted, playful show that recaps the Housewives episodes and is not to be taken seriously at all. Well, that was until last Sunday. Amazingly enough, it was Andy Cohen who broke the news that the White House was reporting that OBL (I am deciding to not write his name from here on out because he doesn't deserve to be remembered) had been located and killed. I heard it, but it didn't quite process. I thought "I'll just look online and see what the news channels are saying". Well, when I looked at the computer, Facebook was going nuts! I saw loads of posts from my friends (not just FB "friends", but my actual longtime friends) about the same thing. I read them a couple of times- very quickly, mind you- and then I bolted downstairs to our rec room where my hubby was finishing up some work. I was calling for him and arrived breathless and apparently a little pale. He looked at me strangely until I said "They found OBL and he's dead". We kinda looked at each other for a few seconds as it sunk in for him too. He couldn't believe it either. I related the other details I knew and then we went out and watched President Obama's news conference confirming it all. Although the details obviously changed and became refined during the next week (heck, we're still learning more!), the impact of that event did not.
Now, I know 9/11 changed everyone in the US and the world, but for us it was intensely personal, but not in the way you would think. It wasn't that we knew anyone personally that was injured or killed in the attacks, or even in the military actions that followed. It was that 9/11 happened exactly 2 days before our son was born.
Let's paint a picture: I was gi-normous at the time, a full week overdue and into complete beached-whale mode when I saw the planes fly into the World Trade Center. In fact, my dear hubby even thought I was mistaken that morning because, he thought, my pregnancy hormones were apparently making me delusional, lol. I remember calling him at his office and telling him I saw a plane fly into the Trade Center. A 737, I said (later of course to be id'd as a 767). My sweet, patient husband said, gently, but a little patronizing "Are you sure it wasn't just a little commuter plane?" I got a little huffy and said "I may be pregnant but I'm not a complete idiot- I know what a jet looks like. Geez!" lol lol! Ok, its a bit humorous now, but at the time it was anything but.
The uncertainty and fear that filled those days were so surreal as we prepared to welcome the most precious gift God has ever given to us. I went into the hospital the next day and Case was born the following morning. I had fully expected- selfishly now, looking back- to watch movies, Michigan football, and all sorts of things while celebrating the birth of our child. Instead I watched people pleading for their loved ones, doomsayers, and everything in between; all amongst the most horrific images I had ever experienced. I experienced the absolute joy and love of my new son and the absolute heartbreak as I saw others who had lost or couldn't find theirs. It was almost too much and yet I felt I couldn't look away. I took breaks from the tv, but would ultimately come back since it was all that was on.....every channel....all day and night. When even ESPN has it on, its a big story.
We all know where we were. We all know that feeling and still get choked up and tearful when we see images of the Twin Towers, Shanksville, and the Pentagon. At least I do. I remember even crying while watching an Elmo eppy with Case a few years later because he went to a FDNY firehouse and I couldn't help wondering if those brave, funny, sweet men who talked to a little red Muppet were gone. It was awful.
And we all knew who was responsible. And over the years, we waited and waited. We trusted our military and our government that they would find this heinous, evil man and bring him to justice. And yet, the time grew long. Almost a full decade passed, even more for those that suffered through the US Cole, the embassy bombings, and the first Trade Center attack. I think many of us had lost faith or let it slip from our foremost mind as the day-to-day things took over.
TSA agent that insisted on patting Case down (this doesn't apply to children under 12, btw). It meant no one could ever see us off at our gate, that there were ever-changing and confusing rules on what you could take and not take, and overall it made Mom and Dad much more stressed than they had been before 9/11. People were crabbier, less trustful, and overall wary. Case only knows this kind of world and its because of OBL.
And yet, as a Christian I struggled with how I should feel about this man's death. I wanted to be joyful, but the reality was I was not. I was relieved to be sure. I was blessed to find a fantastic article by the Rev. James Martin. Here is the link: Rev. Martin
In it was printed the Vatican's official statement, which really helped me gain perspective. The statement, as Rev Martin says, "balances the desire for an end to terror with the sanctity of life, no matter how odious the person." It reads "OBL {my abbreviation, not the Vatican's}, as we all know, bore the most serious responsibility for spreading divisions and hatred among populations, causing the deaths of innumerable people, and manipulating religions for this purpose. In the face of a man's death, a Christian never rejoices, but reflects on the serious responsibilities of each person before God and before men, and hopes and works so that every event may be the occasion for the further growth of peace and not of hatred."
Wow. So I have taken a week and after more thinking and praying, I will say I do not rejoice in the fact a man was killed. I am happy however that this man is unable to do anymore evil and has left this earth. I leave it to God to enact any punishment and/or judgment against him. I know there may be others to try and take his place- I mean Satan's army is always active, is it not?- and we must always be on guard. However, I will now use my energies to try and teach my child to live in a world without OBL, just as I taught him to live in a world altered by OBL since the first breath he took in this world. It'll be a refreshing change.
How amazing, world-changing, gut-wrenching, memory-evoking, and ultimately cathartic was the aftermath of Sunday night. And there is a part of me that finds it no small coincidence that OBL was discovered on the same day Poland's favorite son John Paul II was beatified and named Blessed. Blessed John Paul II was a man of peace and a man that knew when evil must be rooted out and conquered. Perhaps he had a hand in the efforts that began Friday. Perhaps that 2nd miracle needed for sainthood occurred right under our very noses. Quite a week indeed.
Like everyone in the rest of the world, all I could say early this week was "Wow." Last Sunday evening, it was about 10:35 pm and I was up watching tv. Ok, truth be told I was watching, gulp, one of "The Real Housewives" shows on the DVR- I know, I know, but I love them for some reason, lol! Anyway, after that comes on "Watch What Happens Live" with one of the funniest people, Andy Cohen. Its usually a lighthearted, playful show that recaps the Housewives episodes and is not to be taken seriously at all. Well, that was until last Sunday. Amazingly enough, it was Andy Cohen who broke the news that the White House was reporting that OBL (I am deciding to not write his name from here on out because he doesn't deserve to be remembered) had been located and killed. I heard it, but it didn't quite process. I thought "I'll just look online and see what the news channels are saying". Well, when I looked at the computer, Facebook was going nuts! I saw loads of posts from my friends (not just FB "friends", but my actual longtime friends) about the same thing. I read them a couple of times- very quickly, mind you- and then I bolted downstairs to our rec room where my hubby was finishing up some work. I was calling for him and arrived breathless and apparently a little pale. He looked at me strangely until I said "They found OBL and he's dead". We kinda looked at each other for a few seconds as it sunk in for him too. He couldn't believe it either. I related the other details I knew and then we went out and watched President Obama's news conference confirming it all. Although the details obviously changed and became refined during the next week (heck, we're still learning more!), the impact of that event did not.
Now, I know 9/11 changed everyone in the US and the world, but for us it was intensely personal, but not in the way you would think. It wasn't that we knew anyone personally that was injured or killed in the attacks, or even in the military actions that followed. It was that 9/11 happened exactly 2 days before our son was born.
Let's paint a picture: I was gi-normous at the time, a full week overdue and into complete beached-whale mode when I saw the planes fly into the World Trade Center. In fact, my dear hubby even thought I was mistaken that morning because, he thought, my pregnancy hormones were apparently making me delusional, lol. I remember calling him at his office and telling him I saw a plane fly into the Trade Center. A 737, I said (later of course to be id'd as a 767). My sweet, patient husband said, gently, but a little patronizing "Are you sure it wasn't just a little commuter plane?" I got a little huffy and said "I may be pregnant but I'm not a complete idiot- I know what a jet looks like. Geez!" lol lol! Ok, its a bit humorous now, but at the time it was anything but.
The uncertainty and fear that filled those days were so surreal as we prepared to welcome the most precious gift God has ever given to us. I went into the hospital the next day and Case was born the following morning. I had fully expected- selfishly now, looking back- to watch movies, Michigan football, and all sorts of things while celebrating the birth of our child. Instead I watched people pleading for their loved ones, doomsayers, and everything in between; all amongst the most horrific images I had ever experienced. I experienced the absolute joy and love of my new son and the absolute heartbreak as I saw others who had lost or couldn't find theirs. It was almost too much and yet I felt I couldn't look away. I took breaks from the tv, but would ultimately come back since it was all that was on.....every channel....all day and night. When even ESPN has it on, its a big story.
We all know where we were. We all know that feeling and still get choked up and tearful when we see images of the Twin Towers, Shanksville, and the Pentagon. At least I do. I remember even crying while watching an Elmo eppy with Case a few years later because he went to a FDNY firehouse and I couldn't help wondering if those brave, funny, sweet men who talked to a little red Muppet were gone. It was awful.
And we all knew who was responsible. And over the years, we waited and waited. We trusted our military and our government that they would find this heinous, evil man and bring him to justice. And yet, the time grew long. Almost a full decade passed, even more for those that suffered through the US Cole, the embassy bombings, and the first Trade Center attack. I think many of us had lost faith or let it slip from our foremost mind as the day-to-day things took over.
TSA agent that insisted on patting Case down (this doesn't apply to children under 12, btw). It meant no one could ever see us off at our gate, that there were ever-changing and confusing rules on what you could take and not take, and overall it made Mom and Dad much more stressed than they had been before 9/11. People were crabbier, less trustful, and overall wary. Case only knows this kind of world and its because of OBL.
And yet, as a Christian I struggled with how I should feel about this man's death. I wanted to be joyful, but the reality was I was not. I was relieved to be sure. I was blessed to find a fantastic article by the Rev. James Martin. Here is the link: Rev. Martin
In it was printed the Vatican's official statement, which really helped me gain perspective. The statement, as Rev Martin says, "balances the desire for an end to terror with the sanctity of life, no matter how odious the person." It reads "OBL {my abbreviation, not the Vatican's}, as we all know, bore the most serious responsibility for spreading divisions and hatred among populations, causing the deaths of innumerable people, and manipulating religions for this purpose. In the face of a man's death, a Christian never rejoices, but reflects on the serious responsibilities of each person before God and before men, and hopes and works so that every event may be the occasion for the further growth of peace and not of hatred."
Wow. So I have taken a week and after more thinking and praying, I will say I do not rejoice in the fact a man was killed. I am happy however that this man is unable to do anymore evil and has left this earth. I leave it to God to enact any punishment and/or judgment against him. I know there may be others to try and take his place- I mean Satan's army is always active, is it not?- and we must always be on guard. However, I will now use my energies to try and teach my child to live in a world without OBL, just as I taught him to live in a world altered by OBL since the first breath he took in this world. It'll be a refreshing change.
How amazing, world-changing, gut-wrenching, memory-evoking, and ultimately cathartic was the aftermath of Sunday night. And there is a part of me that finds it no small coincidence that OBL was discovered on the same day Poland's favorite son John Paul II was beatified and named Blessed. Blessed John Paul II was a man of peace and a man that knew when evil must be rooted out and conquered. Perhaps he had a hand in the efforts that began Friday. Perhaps that 2nd miracle needed for sainthood occurred right under our very noses. Quite a week indeed.
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